So mind puzzle question that doesn't always get asked.

[Uniquemind]

At what age or when did you figure out you were straight?


The reverse question is always asked here, so I was just wondering and wanted to call conscious attention to the issue.

If we can't remember choosing to be straight, why would we as a society still have pockets of people hating on those who say it wasn't a choice for them to be gay?

Hopefully this discussion can reduce the haters out there and show them their faulty logic.

[Vermilion]

It's a great question I've thought about asking it before. I'm bi so I can't answer.

[Uniquemind]

It's a great question I've thought about asking it before. I'm bi so I can't answer.

Thanks. Yeah I hadn't seen this question asked yet.

[DoodleSnap]

Not applicable, but yeah. I think more people should adopt a "coming out" for every orientation, which would make seeing who is compatible a lot easier. But the issue of denial and hatred and fear is obviously far deeper ingrained than that.

[Magenta]

Not applicable, but yeah. I think more people should adopt a "coming out" for every orientation, which would make seeing who is compatible a lot easier. But the issue of denial and hatred and fear is obviously far deeper ingrained than that.

The problem with "coming out" as straight (if you indeed count every orientation) is that it trivializes the fact people have to "come out" at all. We have to come out as _____ because we're straight until proven otherwise. Why would you come out as straight? Everyone already just assumes you are.

No one "realizes" that they are straight. They get to go through life thinking everything is well and dandy because while their family is asking "oh, when are you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend?" that heterosexual child can say "soon, I hope" rather than standing their awkwardly unable to respond because the answer "never, I don't like _____" is not socially acceptable. They "realize" they're gay/bi/pan/ace/whatever because they live in a world that doesn't feel right because the expectations people have for us are things we know won't happen. If you can live up to societal expectations, you have nothing to come out about. Society is screwed up, yes, but when you think that it's as simple as "just let everyone do it because then it won't matter anymore" that's called privilege.

(P.S. I'm not saying "you" as in the person I'm quoting. I think that may have just been poor phrasing, I mean in general. There are people out there who genuinely believe the problem will just go away if everyone comes out but the fact of the matter is, people with just laugh at people coming out as straight because they think it's silly while everyone else who comes out will still face the same issues. It gets treated as a joke, not a solution.)

[Uniquemind]

The problem with "coming out" as straight (if you indeed count every orientation) is that it trivializes the fact people have to "come out" at all. We have to come out as _____ because we're straight until proven otherwise. Why would you come out as straight? Everyone already just assumes you are.

No one "realizes" that they are straight. They get to go through life thinking everything is well and dandy because while their family is asking "oh, when are you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend?" that heterosexual child can say "soon, I hope" rather than standing their awkwardly unable to respond because the answer "never, I don't like _____" is not socially acceptable. They "realize" they're gay/bi/pan/ace/whatever because they live in a world that doesn't feel right because the expectations people have for us are things we know won't happen. If you can live up to societal expectations, you have nothing to come out about. Society is screwed up, yes, but when you think that it's as simple as "just let everyone do it because then it won't matter anymore" that's called privilege.

(P.S. I'm not saying "you" as in the person I'm quoting. I think that may have just been poor phrasing, I mean in general. There are people out there who genuinely believe the problem will just go away if everyone comes out but the fact of the matter is, people with just laugh at people coming out as straight because they think it's silly while everyone else who comes out will still face the same issues. It gets treated as a joke, not a solution.)


Well then that being said I think the solution is that we as young people should reset society and begin to adopt a new way of seeing the world and our own children as blank slate in regards to their sexual orientation.

No more assumptions they are straight, gay, bi, or transgender.

Just accept that they exist and are figuring themselves out on their own terms and as the former generation nurture a safe environment for them to do that while teaching them to respect their peers and do no harm to others.

People need categories to identify with safely and find compatible people for them. But I don't think selecting a label for oneself is bad, I think the assumptions pushed on us are bad.

[DoodleSnap]

The problem with "coming out" as straight (if you indeed count every orientation) is that it trivializes the fact people have to "come out" at all. We have to come out as _____ because we're straight until proven otherwise. Why would you come out as straight? Everyone already just assumes you are.

No one "realizes" that they are straight. They get to go through life thinking everything is well and dandy because while their family is asking "oh, when are you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend?" that heterosexual child can say "soon, I hope" rather than standing their awkwardly unable to respond because the answer "never, I don't like _____" is not socially acceptable. They "realize" they're gay/bi/pan/ace/whatever because they live in a world that doesn't feel right because the expectations people have for us are things we know won't happen. If you can live up to societal expectations, you have nothing to come out about. Society is screwed up, yes, but when you think that it's as simple as "just let everyone do it because then it won't matter anymore" that's called privilege.

(P.S. I'm not saying "you" as in the person I'm quoting. I think that may have just been poor phrasing, I mean in general. There are people out there who genuinely believe the problem will just go away if everyone comes out but the fact of the matter is, people with just laugh at people coming out as straight because they think it's silly while everyone else who comes out will still face the same issues. It gets treated as a joke, not a solution.)

Well then that being said I think the solution is that we as young people should reset society and begin to adopt a new way of seeing the world and our own children as blank slate in regards to their sexual orientation.

No more assumptions they are straight, gay, bi, or transgender.

Just accept that they exist and are figuring themselves out on their own terms and as the former generation nurture a safe environment for them to do that while teaching them to respect their peers and do no harm to others.

People need categories to identify with safely and find compatible people for them. But I don't think selecting a label for oneself is bad, I think the assumptions pushed on us are bad.
^^^Exactly. I understand that people assume one is straight and a binary gender, but my suggestion is that it should be changed. There should be no assumptions, and everyone should say what they identify with, with no stigma, rather than have an assumption placed upon them. Bare in mind that this is a "perfect world" suggestion, not something that happens commonplace.

[Uniquemind]

Thanks for agreeing with me.

Now that I've clarified the OP, and it's definitions.

I will ask for answers to the original post again please.

[jacshamy]

At what age or when did you figure out you were straight?


The reverse question is always asked here, so I was just wondering and wanted to call conscious attention to the issue.

If we can't remember choosing to be straight, why would we as a society still have pockets of people hating on those who say it wasn't a choice for them to be gay?

Hopefully this discussion can reduce the haters out there and show them their faulty logic.

The reverse question being "At what age or when did you not figure out you were straight?" :D

[Uniquemind]

The reverse question being "At what age or when did you not figure out you were straight?" :D

I thought that was more an inverse question.

[Ridonks_CB]

I've been straight until I was about 11ish, then I was lesbian, then bisexual, and now asexual haha :P

[jacshamy]

I thought that was more an inverse question.

Wouldn't that be "Were you straight at what age did you figure?"

[Babs]

Let's not stray from the topic at hand too much.

[Uniquemind]

Well I'll answer my own question since it seems no one else is taking the topic seriously recently.

I think I always knew, but when you're really young you care more about being safe and loved.

But I as you get older and you start to have crushes I think that is when you know, even if you don't have the word for it yet.

I asked this because I wanted others to think back in their past and identify what shaped them to become who they are today.