Parents don't believe I'm gay…

[Coolguy10890]

I came out to my parents as gay a few months ago, and I thought they accepted it because they weren't saying anything, but then I notice that they don't believe I'm gay. They always tell me "You're confused" or "How do you know you're gay if you never dated anyone?"

They don't understand that it doesn't matter if I dated anyone or not, it's how I feel about the gender, and I am attracted to guys but never to girls. And they think that's not true cuz I barely talk to guys, but I told them cuz I'm too nervous to, and they don't believe me. Most of my friends are girls, and I'm not attracted to any of them, and I only have a few guy friends and I'm not attracted to them but I see a lot of guys that I'm not friends with and I think they look cute/attractive.

Please reply guys, thanks. Sorry if this sounds confusing or not. I always think, "hey I should share this with VT" but then when I do, I never know how to talk about it. I'm always better with speaking to a person than typing/writing something down. Lol

[Meh Guy]

I think you need to have a formal conversation with them. Like sit down and make sure they understand you're serious. If they still don't believe you then try telling someone else like an aunt or uncle or something and have them talk to your parents about it.

In the end, it doesn't really matter if they believe you, if they accept you either way, they'll find out sooner or later anyways.

[NickTheStar]

Wow. I would get a boyfriend and bring him to my house in your situation and introduce him.

[Vermilion]

Like said above sit them down and try to make them understand how you feel to guy compared to girls. Otherwise I'd make them see you with a boy.

[Coolguy10890]

Wow. I would get a boyfriend and bring him to my house in your situation and introduce him.

It's not that easy (for me at least) my parents are paranoid of how I meet someone and stuff. I do know this guy that I've been talking to, and he lives like 10 mins from my house but I didn't introduce him to my parents and my parents don't even know he exists, cuz I know my parents would be paranoid cuz I actually met him online (on the app "Hot or Not") and I never seen him before meeting him on the app cuz he goes to a different school than me and I live like right next to the Town Line and he's on the other side so he goes to that towns school, when I go to the school on my side.

My parents don't like it when I meet people online so that's why I act like I never meet anyone online anymore

[NickTheStar]

Lie.

[SethfromMI]

It is probably your parents do not want to accept the fact you're gay and are struggling to come to terms. it is easier for them to simply say your not or your confused than it is for them to admit you are actually gay. all you can try to do is continue to talk with them about it

[Microcosm]

As previously stated, you should sit down with them and have a formal chat with them about it. This is the most civil way to do it. If they can't come to terms with it still, then they will just have to deal with it to be honest. You clearly have decided that this is who you are and you won't just change. They should appreciate the fact that you trust them enough to go and tell them to let them know that you're gay.

If they really get angry and threaten to kick you out or something, then just be as civil and positive-minded as you can be towards them. Being nice to them will remind them that being gay doesn't change who you are deep down. It's only part of who you are as a human being. They should point their attention towards you as a whole, not just your sexuality.

However, if they are not that strongly disapproving and they are just telling you "You're just confused." Then just turn a blind eye to them. You don't have to base your life on their input. Once you grow up and find a husband who you're happy with, then they will know and hopefully come to terms with it.

Hope I could help you! :)

[Uranus]

Well, they might not believe you're gay, but their thoughts do not change who you are.

[James Dean]

It is probably your parents do not want to accept the fact you're gay and are struggling to come to terms. it is easier for them to simply say your not or your confused than it is for them to admit you are actually gay. all you can try to do is continue to talk with them about it

Yes I agree, this is their way of dealing with it. I would probably discuss this issue more with them and let them know how you feel so everyone feels safe.

[Coolguy10890]

I've already tried talking to them about it, but they just cut me off and are like: "No, you don't know!"

[Abhorrence]

You don't really have anything to prove to them. You've said that you're gay, they don't believe you but they probably know deep down. You've still taken the step so when you do get a boyfriend you can introduce them and they'll realise.

[Bull]

You first met your friend on line, however, where did you meet in person: at the mall, at an eating establishment, game arcade: a place where teens gather and make new friends. Then, that is where you met him. If you guys are going out and are enjoying being together it is time to meet each other's families. No need to identify as "boyfriends" just friends. The more you guys around family, the more they get to know him and see that he is a nice guy (he is a nice guy, right?) the more accepting they will be. If you try to hide the relationship, you are still in the closet. Hope this works out the way you want/need it to. Good luck! :)

[Hudor]

As a few other users stated, this is their way of coping with it. Give them some more time. But I guess broach the topic when you think they seem reasonable and try to clear their doubts/reservations.

[Straya]

It's not that easy (for me at least) my parents are paranoid of how I meet someone and stuff. I do know this guy that I've been talking to, and he lives like 10 mins from my house but I didn't introduce him to my parents and my parents don't even know he exists, cuz I know my parents would be paranoid cuz I actually met him online (on the app "Hot or Not") and I never seen him before meeting him on the app cuz he goes to a different school than me and I live like right next to the Town Line and he's on the other side so he goes to that towns school, when I go to the school on my side.

My parents don't like it when I meet people online so that's why I act like I never meet anyone online anymore

lie and say you meet him through a mutual friend

[AceofSpades97]

Talk with them. I mean my parents believed me when I came out and I don't talk much with guys either XD so that is not making you not gay. It maybe that your parents deny it cause they really really really think that can't happen that their son is gay. But idk maybe it's just like a phase for parents they need to learn to accept it.

[Babs]

If I'm being honest with you, I'd say that there really isn't much you can do about it. Eventually they will come to terms with it. Until then, just live your life.
As for the guy you met online, just say you met each other through mutual friends or something.

[DoodleSnap]

As stated above, a serious conversation, if you persevere, would likely be good. Failing that, speak to someone else they would listen to, and let them know how you feel. They could go and speak to your parents, and let them see it rationally. It is likely they are using this knee-jerk reaction as a coping mechanism, and couples can be good at convincing themselves of an irrational thought. With an external voice, they might see reason. However, just remember that they aren't hateful, that they still love you, and that what they think doesn't affect you. Good luck.

[Zenos]

I came out to my parents as gay a few months ago, and I thought they accepted it because they weren't saying anything, but then I notice that they don't believe I'm gay. They always tell me "You're confused" or "How do you know you're gay if you never dated anyone?"

They don't understand that it doesn't matter if I dated anyone or not, it's how I feel about the gender, and I am attracted to guys but never to girls. And they think that's not true cuz I barely talk to guys, but I told them cuz I'm too nervous to, and they don't believe me. Most of my friends are girls, and I'm not attracted to any of them, and I only have a few guy friends and I'm not attracted to them but I see a lot of guys that I'm not friends with and I think they look cute/attractive.

Please reply guys, thanks. Sorry if this sounds confusing or not. I always think, "hey I should share this with VT" but then when I do, I never know how to talk about it. I'm always better with speaking to a person than typing/writing something down. Lol

Do like i did find a nice single guy win his heart then bring him home to mom and pops ......

[Zachary G]

It is probably your parents do not want to accept the fact you're gay and are struggling to come to terms. it is easier for them to simply say your not or your confused than it is for them to admit you are actually gay. all you can try to do is continue to talk with them about it

This. Its the best way you can go about doing it, but dont let it discourage you, keep being yourself and keep the lines of communication open and in time they will come around.

[Sammerz]

I came out to my parents as gay a few months ago, and I thought they accepted it because they weren't saying anything, but then I notice that they don't believe I'm gay. They always tell me "You're confused" or "How do you know you're gay if you never dated anyone?"

They don't understand that it doesn't matter if I dated anyone or not, it's how I feel about the gender, and I am attracted to guys but never to girls. And they think that's not true cuz I barely talk to guys, but I told them cuz I'm too nervous to, and they don't believe me. Most of my friends are girls, and I'm not attracted to any of them, and I only have a few guy friends and I'm not attracted to them but I see a lot of guys that I'm not friends with and I think they look cute/attractive.

Please reply guys, thanks. Sorry if this sounds confusing or not. I always think, "hey I should share this with VT" but then when I do, I never know how to talk about it. I'm always better with speaking to a person than typing/writing something down. Lol

I'm getting really nervous about telling my parents. I kind of have to now that I'm out at school. My brothers know and thank god they're ok with it. I think my parents will be too but it's scary. it shouldn't feel awful but it does.

[Coolguy10890]

I'm getting really nervous about telling my parents. I kind of have to now that I'm out at school. My brothers know and thank god they're ok with it. I think my parents will be too but it's scary. it shouldn't feel awful but it does.



I know what you mean, it feels scary for closet gays like us to come out, because we always hear these things about people not liking you as who you are and etc… it's sad, and I really hope the fight for equality of the LGBT community continues. Just today actually I came out to my best friend I've known since 6th grade. I was always afraid to tell her cuz she always overreacted to certain things, I was afraid she'd freak out, but she doesn't care and I'm happy about that :)

[xAbnormalxAlphax]

Don't believe what they say. If you define yourself as gay, then you are gay. I know there's not some magic words that can make them believe you. Trust me, I know what it's like. It's rough. But just be patient. I know it's rough to be patient, but if you are, it will get better when you get older. Once you have sex with a man (which I am no encouraging you to do at a young age) then they might just believe you. Just wait it out, hun.