Professional Russian
April 2nd, 2015, 01:28 AM
I know Bert's going on about this girl again. God does he ever shut up about her? No. I dont. Because she's tearing my mind apart. Anyways some explain to me where o fucked up
When we first started talking we were like casual friends had our conversations. Laughed together didn't really text. When we started texting to it was fun and games till one day I stumbled into a part of her I'd come to learn was very similar to me. We spent 2 or 3 whole days talking about our depression and anxiety and other mental and physical problems. That's when we went from casual friends to I'm her second best friend....hard to replace someone she's known since pre school. Anyways a couple weeks later she asks me "my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. Should I do it?" And being me I said no. I told her its her choice. She can do what she wants but id say no. 3 days later he broke up with her. Because she wouldn't have sex with him. From there it started going down hill. We talked for a couple days after it happened because it didn't really hit her yet. When it did it total silence. I texted her 4 times a day to let her know I was there. I told her how amazing she was. How beautiful she was. How much I appreciated her. A couple times I broke down and just ranted. Others I was just telling her what I liked about her.4 weeks ago now we went bowling. That night went from good to progressively worse. We ended up in her parents car with her breaking down and crying in my arms. I held her for what felt like hours just telling her its OK. Now 2-3 weeks ago I broke down hard. Everything came crashing down at once. I annoyed the fuck out of her because I had no one else to turn to. She was so nice then. Let me go on and on. Talked me through it all. Then i asked a question no one wants to be asked..."I want to die in the worst way....would you miss me if I was gone?" And with in seconds she responded with yes she would. Then I texted her a couple times a day again as usual. Then that following Monday an anxiety thing hit me. It wasn't an attack but I was really worried about us. So I texted her like 4 or 5 times till she responded. She was pissed. She said I needed to back off a little and that she couldn't take the added stress. So I backed off awhile.I asked her to prom after that day and she said yes. Then we get to now. She's happy again not ignoreing anybody back to her sarcastic self....except for me. I'm ignored and she won't even talk to her parents about me. Its like I never existed and we never did anything we did. I fucked up and oussed off somewhere. And I don't know where. I just need to make things right between us. So if anybody can please please please. I mean I'm begging here. Tell me where I most likely fucked up at it would so appreciated. I thought I was being a good friend. I was trying to be the best I could bit it doesn't look like it was enough...so any help is truly aporeciates~Bert.
When we first started talking we were like casual friends had our conversations. Laughed together didn't really text. When we started texting to it was fun and games till one day I stumbled into a part of her I'd come to learn was very similar to me. We spent 2 or 3 whole days talking about our depression and anxiety and other mental and physical problems. That's when we went from casual friends to I'm her second best friend....hard to replace someone she's known since pre school. Anyways a couple weeks later she asks me "my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. Should I do it?" And being me I said no. I told her its her choice. She can do what she wants but id say no. 3 days later he broke up with her. Because she wouldn't have sex with him. From there it started going down hill. We talked for a couple days after it happened because it didn't really hit her yet. When it did it total silence. I texted her 4 times a day to let her know I was there. I told her how amazing she was. How beautiful she was. How much I appreciated her. A couple times I broke down and just ranted. Others I was just telling her what I liked about her.4 weeks ago now we went bowling. That night went from good to progressively worse. We ended up in her parents car with her breaking down and crying in my arms. I held her for what felt like hours just telling her its OK. Now 2-3 weeks ago I broke down hard. Everything came crashing down at once. I annoyed the fuck out of her because I had no one else to turn to. She was so nice then. Let me go on and on. Talked me through it all. Then i asked a question no one wants to be asked..."I want to die in the worst way....would you miss me if I was gone?" And with in seconds she responded with yes she would. Then I texted her a couple times a day again as usual. Then that following Monday an anxiety thing hit me. It wasn't an attack but I was really worried about us. So I texted her like 4 or 5 times till she responded. She was pissed. She said I needed to back off a little and that she couldn't take the added stress. So I backed off awhile.I asked her to prom after that day and she said yes. Then we get to now. She's happy again not ignoreing anybody back to her sarcastic self....except for me. I'm ignored and she won't even talk to her parents about me. Its like I never existed and we never did anything we did. I fucked up and oussed off somewhere. And I don't know where. I just need to make things right between us. So if anybody can please please please. I mean I'm begging here. Tell me where I most likely fucked up at it would so appreciated. I thought I was being a good friend. I was trying to be the best I could bit it doesn't look like it was enough...so any help is truly aporeciates~Bert.