Greenie
April 1st, 2015, 06:07 AM
Hello all.
I'll cut to the chase. I have uh, caught myself in the midst of typical relationship problems.
It started about one year ago, in March. I met this girl through Facebook (how commonplace). Soon to not only my liking but her liking too, we fell for each other. We would chat night to night about anything and everything... Then we built up the courage to finally organise meeting up in person.
We had set in stone the cinemas would be the meet up location. I got there first, then soon after she showed up. After the film we said our goodbyes, no kiss, but a casual hug initiated by her. We'll call her Teresa.
But then it all changed when her best friend Esmay introduced herself to me through, you guessed it - Facebook. We had began chatting regularly, we shared the same interests; reading, film genres, the way we do things. I mean, Teresa and I weren't in a relationship right? What is the harm in chatting to Esmay? Before I realised I had stopped chatting to Teresa and had increasingly started chatting to Esmay, more and more.
Teresa had become offended and upset. We weren't even in a relationship :confused: The conversations with Esmay had continued despite Teresa's efforts to go further with me. Teresa had informed me through hauls of messages that herself and Esmay have been arguing, over me. Esmay was rather reserved, but apprised me of the current events happening between them two. I explained how sorry I was, but Esmay insisted it is okay.
Teresa was officially outraged with not only me, but Esmay too. :mad: It was far beyond obvious. Esmay and I kept conversing though, we would be up nights on end. I would wait until midnight sometimes just to chat with her, and she would let me know when she was home. We even gave each other dainty nicknames which we would call each other. By this point, it was fair to say the feelings I once had for Teresa had faded and grew even stronger feelings for Esmay, I was so very sure of it.
I emitted my true colours to Esmay, but she urged to me that it was just a phase, that my feelings were merely phony. That was it, I badly wanted to meet this girl but maybe the 'girl code' was too strong. I quit. Teresa soon contacted me and basically told me to be off. I respected her request, who am I to say "no" and keep at it. I nearly brought this 'best' friendship to crumbs.
Months later after solitude...
Teresa and I had began speaking again. Why? I do not know. But I found myself liking her :yes: All contact with Esmay was turned to dust and all that was in my sight was Teresa. Teresa and Esmay remained best friends. We eventually started a relationship after countless meet ups. This relationship with Teresa lasted eight months, up until recent. March. Exactly a year later from meeting her.
Throughout this eight month relationship we had it all. We loved each other, I bought her jewelry, fragrances, little kits of miscellaneous things. But we suddenly went downhill. I noticed just how demanding she was, possessive, and jealous. She would cry if she didn't get her own way, and let me say, as of late, in this moment of time I was realising her true colours were beginning to shine. Teresa would only ever stay at home, in her bedroom, I encouraged her to get up and get a job. I even offered to do most of the hard bits to get one for her, but she rejected all my offers. I started becoming more out there, networked and achieved great things for myself, I would somewhat brag and glorify in the fact for once something good has happened to me. But she would become agitated and get angry at me for showing pride. I had enough of it. I had exams coming up and needed to zone out from the relationship and focus on my senior studies for about a week or two. I told her I wanted space. But she would not let me have it. She would cry, demand me to see her, and focus on her. It was becoming selfish of her and the fog was clearing.
Then one day, she invited me to Esmay's house with her to help film for a school project. She wanted things to be normal between the three of us, and forget about things which had happened in the past. I for one, had left it behind us. But maybe she had not. The night I had at Esmay's was by far the biggest indicator of just how immature Teresa was. That night, she hid in other rooms listening to Esmay and my conversations, tried to make us separate when she went to the bathroom (we were already about 2-4 meters apart), and acted rudely the whole night. The next morning I woke up, laying in bed at home and got a message from Teresa saying she had read every message between Esmay and I (all the way from last year). Talk about trust issues, I was disappointed to be frank. In fact, after making the night uncomfortable, she went on to make everything uncomfortable. I don't know how Esmay was feeling about this, but I knew how I was. I was shocked, shattered and disheartened.
Days after I came to a conclusion I would end the relationship with Teresa. So I did. She lashed out, which I had expected would happen and by this point of my life, I did not want to be in a relationship with a girl who had no ambitions, was demanding, was possessive, was jealous and had the utmost of all trust issues. It wasn't on. I had to put myself first for once, and that is what I did.
Days after the break up, I started reevaluating where I had ended up and how I had got here. Then I remembered back to the night with Esmay (and Teresa). It just clicked to me how immature Teresa looked compared to Esmay, everything just clicked. Esmay was this beautiful, intelligent and ambitious girl who I once was SO, SO, SO, sure about. We were the perfect combo in crime (not actual crime). I found myself relishing the thought of being with her, being able to swiftly move that strand of her over her bubbly, emerald eyes behind her ear, as I gently run my finger along her soft pale cheeks. :wub: and deep down, I fathomed the fact the feelings for Esmay had never truly disappeared, they just hid the whole time.
At this exact point of time, writing all of this. My true feelings lay with Esmay. But it is impossible love. I consider every night when my head touches that pillow, the possibilities in this extraordinary world. To be with Esmay, but the realistic side of things condemn me from ever being with her. It would never happen :( I do not know if she has mutual feelings and even then, she is still Teresa's best friend. Or, was... In the midst of Teresa's rage paragraphs she sent me, she mentioned their friendship was dying and she was losing her best friend. Am I bad for smiling inside of me at the fact they may not be friends anymore? An opportunity for me to be with Esmay...
Is it right to love her?
I'll cut to the chase. I have uh, caught myself in the midst of typical relationship problems.
It started about one year ago, in March. I met this girl through Facebook (how commonplace). Soon to not only my liking but her liking too, we fell for each other. We would chat night to night about anything and everything... Then we built up the courage to finally organise meeting up in person.
We had set in stone the cinemas would be the meet up location. I got there first, then soon after she showed up. After the film we said our goodbyes, no kiss, but a casual hug initiated by her. We'll call her Teresa.
But then it all changed when her best friend Esmay introduced herself to me through, you guessed it - Facebook. We had began chatting regularly, we shared the same interests; reading, film genres, the way we do things. I mean, Teresa and I weren't in a relationship right? What is the harm in chatting to Esmay? Before I realised I had stopped chatting to Teresa and had increasingly started chatting to Esmay, more and more.
Teresa had become offended and upset. We weren't even in a relationship :confused: The conversations with Esmay had continued despite Teresa's efforts to go further with me. Teresa had informed me through hauls of messages that herself and Esmay have been arguing, over me. Esmay was rather reserved, but apprised me of the current events happening between them two. I explained how sorry I was, but Esmay insisted it is okay.
Teresa was officially outraged with not only me, but Esmay too. :mad: It was far beyond obvious. Esmay and I kept conversing though, we would be up nights on end. I would wait until midnight sometimes just to chat with her, and she would let me know when she was home. We even gave each other dainty nicknames which we would call each other. By this point, it was fair to say the feelings I once had for Teresa had faded and grew even stronger feelings for Esmay, I was so very sure of it.
I emitted my true colours to Esmay, but she urged to me that it was just a phase, that my feelings were merely phony. That was it, I badly wanted to meet this girl but maybe the 'girl code' was too strong. I quit. Teresa soon contacted me and basically told me to be off. I respected her request, who am I to say "no" and keep at it. I nearly brought this 'best' friendship to crumbs.
Months later after solitude...
Teresa and I had began speaking again. Why? I do not know. But I found myself liking her :yes: All contact with Esmay was turned to dust and all that was in my sight was Teresa. Teresa and Esmay remained best friends. We eventually started a relationship after countless meet ups. This relationship with Teresa lasted eight months, up until recent. March. Exactly a year later from meeting her.
Throughout this eight month relationship we had it all. We loved each other, I bought her jewelry, fragrances, little kits of miscellaneous things. But we suddenly went downhill. I noticed just how demanding she was, possessive, and jealous. She would cry if she didn't get her own way, and let me say, as of late, in this moment of time I was realising her true colours were beginning to shine. Teresa would only ever stay at home, in her bedroom, I encouraged her to get up and get a job. I even offered to do most of the hard bits to get one for her, but she rejected all my offers. I started becoming more out there, networked and achieved great things for myself, I would somewhat brag and glorify in the fact for once something good has happened to me. But she would become agitated and get angry at me for showing pride. I had enough of it. I had exams coming up and needed to zone out from the relationship and focus on my senior studies for about a week or two. I told her I wanted space. But she would not let me have it. She would cry, demand me to see her, and focus on her. It was becoming selfish of her and the fog was clearing.
Then one day, she invited me to Esmay's house with her to help film for a school project. She wanted things to be normal between the three of us, and forget about things which had happened in the past. I for one, had left it behind us. But maybe she had not. The night I had at Esmay's was by far the biggest indicator of just how immature Teresa was. That night, she hid in other rooms listening to Esmay and my conversations, tried to make us separate when she went to the bathroom (we were already about 2-4 meters apart), and acted rudely the whole night. The next morning I woke up, laying in bed at home and got a message from Teresa saying she had read every message between Esmay and I (all the way from last year). Talk about trust issues, I was disappointed to be frank. In fact, after making the night uncomfortable, she went on to make everything uncomfortable. I don't know how Esmay was feeling about this, but I knew how I was. I was shocked, shattered and disheartened.
Days after I came to a conclusion I would end the relationship with Teresa. So I did. She lashed out, which I had expected would happen and by this point of my life, I did not want to be in a relationship with a girl who had no ambitions, was demanding, was possessive, was jealous and had the utmost of all trust issues. It wasn't on. I had to put myself first for once, and that is what I did.
Days after the break up, I started reevaluating where I had ended up and how I had got here. Then I remembered back to the night with Esmay (and Teresa). It just clicked to me how immature Teresa looked compared to Esmay, everything just clicked. Esmay was this beautiful, intelligent and ambitious girl who I once was SO, SO, SO, sure about. We were the perfect combo in crime (not actual crime). I found myself relishing the thought of being with her, being able to swiftly move that strand of her over her bubbly, emerald eyes behind her ear, as I gently run my finger along her soft pale cheeks. :wub: and deep down, I fathomed the fact the feelings for Esmay had never truly disappeared, they just hid the whole time.
At this exact point of time, writing all of this. My true feelings lay with Esmay. But it is impossible love. I consider every night when my head touches that pillow, the possibilities in this extraordinary world. To be with Esmay, but the realistic side of things condemn me from ever being with her. It would never happen :( I do not know if she has mutual feelings and even then, she is still Teresa's best friend. Or, was... In the midst of Teresa's rage paragraphs she sent me, she mentioned their friendship was dying and she was losing her best friend. Am I bad for smiling inside of me at the fact they may not be friends anymore? An opportunity for me to be with Esmay...
Is it right to love her?