Does sex hurt for girls?

[ally-mai]

The Title explains it all really. I'm a Virgin (only 13) and alot of my friends claim to have lost their virginity. Is it strange that I haven't? And will it hurt when I eventually do it? One more thing. I haven't been fingered or had an Orgasm or anything like that yet. Feel free to ask questions about my situation (as long as they don't break the forum rules).

[Elysium]

No, it is not strange. I'm pretty sure the majority of people don't have sex for the first time until they're older.

Yes, penetration could potentially hurt for people with vaginas. It really varies on quite a few factors, but if your first time is with someone with a penis, just make sure that you go slowly, and that you're well aroused and/or lubricated before trying anything. Don't be fooled by the hymen myth here. The hymen is not broken or popped or any bullshit like that at any point, so don't be afraid.

It's perfectly fine if you have no sexual experience yet. Everyone is different - there really is no norm when it comes to these things.

[tinybird]

don't worry that you're not having sex. you're 13, that's pretty young!
if you're turned on, it shouldn't hurt. the hymen doesn't break, it stretches. you might feel a tiny bit of pain, and a little bleeding, but not too much.

[SammyG17]

The human body is a miraculous thing. It can stretch to sizes we sometimes can't even imagine. But that doesn't mean it won't take time to do it. Sort of like riding a bike, or playing a sport, or a musical instrument, you have to train your body and your muscles to "remember" things. (Muscle memory) This same theory goes into practice when you are trying to stretch other areas.

If you work out really hard one day, you might get sore or be in discomfort. The same applies to your vagina and anus. It might be slightly painful, it might be uncomfortable, but as long as you start SLOW and SMALL so your body can get used to the feelings and learn how to stretch you should be ok. Please don't confuse dull aches, with sharp pains. Sharp pains are never good, and means you are going to fast, to big, or both.

The best place to start is with yourself. How can you help someone make you feel good, if you don't even know what it is you like? You wouldn't go into a restaurant and order everything on the menu, if you only really want a grilled cheese sandwich. Plus, doing it with yourself gives you the chance to slow down, and learn your limits. Boys aren't....careful...usually, and it really is different when you are doing it to someone else and can't feel what they are feeling. By learning yourself, you learn how your body works, stretches, and what feels good/ what doesn't. Just relax, use lube, and take your time. You are 13, no rush.

[hannaszabo]

It's absolutely not strange. Take your time, wait for the right guy, who you love. The first time is much more comfortable, if the partners are in love. :)

[rachel_ballet]

I'm also 13 (soon to 14 on April 29) and I'm also a virgin. My ex BF and I played around a little bit but never had sex. I've often wondered the same thing if it hurts or not!
Don't think it's strange or weird that you're still a virgin!
It's okay and the fact that you are waiting shows you have respect for yourself!
And your friends might be just making that up!

[Emolga]

Yes, it may hurt the first time, but it really depends on how gentle your partner is and the level of arousal you have.

[Uniquemind]

The human body is a miraculous thing. It can stretch to sizes we sometimes can't even imagine. But that doesn't mean it won't take time to do it. Sort of like riding a bike, or playing a sport, or a musical instrument, you have to train your body and your muscles to "remember" things. (Muscle memory) This same theory goes into practice when you are trying to stretch other areas.

If you work out really hard one day, you might get sore or be in discomfort. The same applies to your vagina and anus. It might be slightly painful, it might be uncomfortable, but as long as you start SLOW and SMALL so your body can get used to the feelings and learn how to stretch you should be ok. Please don't confuse dull aches, with sharp pains. Sharp pains are never good, and means you are going to fast, to big, or both.

The best place to start is with yourself. How can you help someone make you feel good, if you don't even know what it is you like? You wouldn't go into a restaurant and order everything on the menu, if you only really want a grilled cheese sandwich. Plus, doing it with yourself gives you the chance to slow down, and learn your limits. Boys aren't....careful...usually, and it really is different when you are doing it to someone else and can't feel what they are feeling. By learning yourself, you learn how your body works, stretches, and what feels good/ what doesn't. Just relax, use lube, and take your time. You are 13, no rush.

Do sharp pains that tell us something is wrong feel similar to the stretching or pain from a really hard bowel movement or is the sensation of sharp pain different from that?

[LITTLEANGEL19]

13 is still very young to be thinking of having sex and the possible consequences that it could lead to. ie. a baby, as even protection can go wrong. Better safe than sorry.

[KellyNC]

The level of pain and sort of pain you feel is really just going to depend on your own body and some of your past experiences. You might be lucky and be type who feels little to no discomfort, but the best thing you can do is start slowly with your partner (who you should feel no pressure to find, particularly at 13) and not risk a painful or otherwise unsatisfying experience.

[tiffany1]

at first but later no

[ShelleyCA]

I'm also 13 (soon to 14 on April 29) and I'm also a virgin. My ex BF and I played around a little bit but never had sex. I've often wondered the same thing if it hurts or not!
Don't think it's strange or weird that you're still a virgin!
It's okay and the fact that you are waiting shows you have respect for yourself!
And your friends might be just making that up!

masturbate first and learn what you like. sometimes guys can be too rough :(

[Small town girl]

I promise you that it's completely normal, a lot of people lie about if they've had sex or not, and the average age to lose your virginity is actually 17. But everybody is different, and you do not have to worry even if your older than that. Also, it doesn't have to hurt at all. The reason it could most of the time is that you're nervous.

[SarahFox]

Depends a lot. I had just turned 12 (actually was my bday party!!) when I lost mine and it hurt pretty bad with bleeding, mainly b/c my boyfriend was older and kind of big and VERY clumsy (was a virgin too). Second time got better. And the third time? HEAVEN!!!!! Ive been having sex pretty much constantly since then and overall its just getting better & better. :lol: Stick with it!!!

But please protect youself against STDs & pregnancy.

[jenni31]

.I agree with many of the girls on here that 13 is awfully young to have intercourse with a guy or with another girl with a strap on... And I agree with Shelly that even masturbating and finding out what feels comfortable to you is a excellent idea... I am still a virgin and 18 and want to have sex in the worst way but I want to wait for the right person guy or girl to lose my virginity to... It takes patience and I do mean patience especially when our hormones are kicking in and we are totally horny than anything that's why masturbation is awesome for us and it helps calm the hormones down for a little bit

[Iam-Marie]

Do not believe everything your friends say. It is a different it hurts and the other has no pain.
Take you time for your first time. you are very very young.

[Yolo its Millie]

If the guy is big yes than sometimes it can.

[ashleigh7]

Yes, and no. : ) I know that's totally no help at all. But for me the first time was with a guy that I totally trusted. He was very gentle...it was like everything was in slow motion. But at first it kinda hert but then as we got our rithem down and started to feel him...it changed from oh...ouch...to this feels..AWESOME! But some of my friends said it very the hole time. I think it just depends...but when you do....TRY to make it with someone who you trust, and not afraid to have stop or slow down. Good luck : )

[Laibachd]

If you have multiple sexual encounters and it still hurts, there´s something wrong. Other than that, it´s all normal!

[BethMitchell]

Not judging, but you're only 13 and I hope you'll wait a little longer to make sure you have sex with the right person and when you know you want to and are ready. As for the pain, it was slightly painful but really just uncomfortable the first couple of times. After a bit it feels incredible. My first BF was nicely equipped and it took some getting used to...that's normal. My current BF is a little too large and each time we have sex, I need some time to warm up and adjust to him being inside me so we go slow at first. After a while he can speed up and thrust harder and it's really fun and nice. Just keep in mind every girl is different but let's face it, we're designed to have babies so we can definitely get used to penis.

[THJKIGB]

The first time my boyfriend and I had sex it hurt when he initial penetrated my vagina, but once we got going it got a lot better. Now that I have had sex with him a lot more I am much looser and it doesn't hurt at all.

[Hase]

The first time my boyfriend and I had sex it hurt when he initial penetrated my vagina, but once we got going it got a lot better. Now that I have had sex with him a lot more I am much looser and it doesn't hurt at all.

same like me. 1st time has hurt after that it is beautiful.

[maggs]

It may hurt a bit the first time or the first two times, but after that you get more pleasure and less pain.

[Sweeper]

It didn't hurt the first time, but I was sore the next day. I was broken already though, so it may be different for some people.

[Daniella98]

Its not strange of you to still be a virgin at 13.
I lost my virginity at 13 and consider that early. It hurt a bit. It does that at first but it quickly stopped and instead it felt so good.

[CupcakeLuv101]

I don't find it weird at all to not have sex at age 13. I'm 15 and still a virgin. Statistics show that girls nowadays usually lose their virginity at about 17. Some don't even have sex for the first time until they are married!

Also I'm sure your mother doesn't want her 13 year old daughter to be having sex anytime soon, or even becoming a grandmother any day now

[sonnenstrahl]

It has hurt a little in the first time.

[jennyem]

It hurt a lot for me in the beginning as well but as you get more experienced you get better at handling everything and theres no pain. It's all part of the learning process!