Sex

[EssentialAspiration]

Okay, my girlfriend wants us to have sex. My initial reaction is, that's great.
But when I think about it. It's actually quite worrying.

I don't have a nice body, I have stretch marks on my lower back and I have like no muscle and I'm a bit chubby.
I don't hide my figure with baggy clothes or anything and we've been together for 10 months so she can't be expecting me to be ripped or anything.

But I guess my question is: Will she mind? We love each other but will she be dissapointed? My body is in absolutely no way attractive, I mean it isn't repulsive or anything but it's just not attractive. I don't have a massive dick or anything (not really conscious about that to be honest because I can't change that so there's no point worrying about it )

Will the whole emotional experience and love thing be enough to make my unappealing body not matter?

Also, I think the reason my appearance worries me so much is because as far as I'm concerned she could take her clothes off and have a horrible body and it wouldn't matter because I think she's the most beautiful girl I've ever met and I love her. But I don't know if it's the same for her. I don't know.
Thanks

[CosmicNoodle]

If shes goinjg to judge you for it, she doesnt deserve to see it.

BUT, that said, if you look like a morbidly obease dobby, no one will want to have sex with you, so try your best to make yourself nice for her first time but don't worry too much. Your best is your best and that's all you can do.

And trust kme, on she'll likely be so concerned about how her body looks that she wont give a hoot about yours.

Also, your first time won't be romantic or sexy or like porn, it'll probably hurt a bit for her, and be awkward and wont last long and you'll be slightly confused as to how the fuck this works. Don't get your expectations up for it. Just chill and enjoy yourself.

[KingLiam]

If she likes you then you have nothing to worry about. And if you have been going out for ten moths I'm sure she would have been told or noticed by now that you haven't got the body of an Olympic gymnast. Just go for it and if she does say something about your body she either needs to live with it or go away because she's not worth it

[EssentialAspiration]

Hahaha 'morbidly obese dobby' very interesting choice I love it. We've arranged to do this next week so I guess there isn't much I can change about myself in that time and I'll just have to hope for the best.

In fact, could I ask her? Let her know I feel a bit off about myself and ask that she's not expecting too much? Or would that put her off? Would that be bad? Just an idea

[jordanhardy]

At the end of the day, you've been going out for 10 months which is a long time for most people our age. I don't think she going to expect you to have a ripped body. If she loves you like you say she does then she isn't going to care about what you look like. Plus she WANTS to have sex with you, if she thought you were grotesque and that your appearance was an issue, I doubt she would have asked and put up with you for a good portion of a year. Just stop worrying and enjoy it. I promise you you will learn to love it :)

[Luminous]

Hahaha 'morbidly obese dobby' very interesting choice I love it. We've arranged to do this next week so I guess there isn't much I can change about myself in that time and I'll just have to hope for the best.

In fact, could I ask her? Let her know I feel a bit off about myself and ask that she's not expecting too much? Or would that put her off? Would that be bad? Just an idea


Open communication is essential in relationships so yes, go ahead and talk to her about how you're feeling. Ask what she's expecting. Just talk to her about it. That's a great idea.

[CosmicNoodle]

Hahaha 'morbidly obese dobby' very interesting choice I love it. We've arranged to do this next week so I guess there isn't much I can change about myself in that time and I'll just have to hope for the best.

In fact, could I ask her? Let her know I feel a bit off about myself and ask that she's not expecting too much? Or would that put her off? Would that be bad? Just an idea

Probably a good idea to tell her that you feel a little insercure about yourself, and the chances are shes not expecting the world from you.

[DoodleSnap]

Open communication is essential in relationships so yes, go ahead and talk to her about how you're feeling. Ask what she's expecting. Just talk to her about it. That's a great idea.
Exactomundo. If you feel concious; tell her. Communicating is what makes a great relationship, so tell her if you are feeling self conscious at the time. If she loves then she won't give a damn about minor body-insecurities. Just take it easy, enjoy it, and don't feel afraid to say what you like, how you feel, and laugh when something goes wrong. It won't be perfect at first, but those little flaws are what make us human. Hope all goes well.

[SethfromMI]

At the end of the day, you've been going out for 10 months which is a long time for most people our age. I don't think she going to expect you to have a ripped body. If she loves you like you say she does then she isn't going to care about what you look like. Plus she WANTS to have sex with you, if she thought you were grotesque and that your appearance was an issue, I doubt she would have asked and put up with you for a good portion of a year. Just stop worrying and enjoy it. I promise you you will learn to love it :)

very wise words Jordan. she already has an idea what she is getting. the fact you are still together tells me the relationship is not simply about looks. enjoy the time together. it will be awkward, but it will be something special the two of you can share

[NickTheStar]

Remember always use protection.

[Wafflenado]

Well, you said that you don't hide your body with baggy clothes, so she probably has an idea of what you look like already. Since she's the one that brought it up, It's probably guaranteed that she's perfectly fine with how you look. And being open about your feelings is great and you should tell her you're a bit insecure. However, as a gay man with probably hundreds of friends that are girls, I've talked to enough of them to know that confidence is one of the hottest traits a guy can have. With that being said, give yourself some credit, don't downgrade yourself completely. The trick is to lower their expectations just enough so when the time comes, it'll be a happy surprise XD