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View Full Version : So much has happened in the past week...


Remora
March 30th, 2015, 02:45 PM
I haven't been on here for quite a while, but i need to vent, and i need advice...
During the past week, a lot- or, well, i think it's a lot, has happened. Mainly, i went to London with half my class, and while this is not *that* big of a deal, i still believe it has allowed the things that were big deals to happen.
So, the first three days of that trip, Monday to Wednesday, just went past pretty fast. We mainly went sightseeing and stuff like that (and paid a lot of visits to fast food restaurants, whoops) and i re-damaged my ankle (initially damaged due to the fact i'm terrible at volleyball and fell onto someones' foot when i landed) climbing the St. Paul's Cathedral, but other than that nothing special happened.

That Thursday, however, we were given an entire afternoon to roam around the city of London, and, well, the second event in the chain happened here. We visited the National History Museum in a group of 11 friends and a teacher, and as me and a female friend fell ahead of the group (they were obsessed with some sarcophagus) she misunderstood my "k mate", claiming i said "gay-mate", and it escalated from there. So right there, in the middle of some fancy museum, crowded with people, i came out- luckily in the Dutch language and in a rather subtle manner, but i still came out. And the second the words that had me come out came out of my mouth, i realized the mistake i had made- you see, the young woman i had told was very talkative and not very good at keeping secrets...

I experienced my mistake soon, as later during the day, a different female classmate approached me. "Hey, she told me...", she told me. She sat down next to me, hugging me, and constantly saying she liked it a lot, and all i could do is sit there petrified, blushing with the strength of seven thousand suns, more uncomfortable than i'd ever been. A little relief appeared, however, when she had explained that "it was safe with her" and "the other female friend just needed to tell someone". So far, this seems to be true, and i've been able to trust her in the past, so i'll just keep my fingers crossed for it to stay that way.

I also had some suicidal thoughts from this day onward. Twice when the metro approached, i'd considered just jumping in front and be done with all this hassle, and additionally when we were assigned to the balcony in some theater the urge to just jump down was rather big too. I think i'm doing a lot better now though.

The third event was probably the most important one, or well, the one i wished hadn't happened the most. Remember Ruben? That little fluffy creature that dwells within my class? The one that i'd almost got over completely by last Thursday? Well, i'll tell you- spending four straight hours in a bus next to the cutest entity in the universe while that very entity is asleep does NOT do well if you are trying to get over him. Nor does it help if you spent every second of those hours staring at him and analyzing every single part of him. I should not have done that.

He's growing, too. If that guy -also- manages to get tall, then i fear i'll have my heart glued to him permanently. And while i'm not certain if he had actually gotten taller or if it was just the comparison with English people (as Dutchmen), it did "revive" my crush on him, and now it's stronger than ever...

Some minor factors during the actual tour were a certain member of my class constantly complaining about his feet hurting and constantly laying down on the floor wherever the hell we went, having us be ashamed because he really did look like a hobo, both in appearance and behavior... and then there was sexual frustration- there was no privacy, three of us in the room where we slept.

The fourth event, one that was in my experience just a minor one, was when i'd already gotten back home- i cried out to my sister because i needed a hug real damn badly and then she appeared with two glasses of some weird lemonade-like alcoholic drink. Since i were already in "fuck it" condition, i simply took one of the glasses and drank it. It didn't taste bad at all, but it was the first time i had anything of the sort. My eyes burnt a little and i was just a little bit dizzy, but other than that, i just went to sleep, very much tired.

//rant//

I'm sorry for bothering everyone this wall of text, but i need help...

SethfromMI
March 30th, 2015, 02:49 PM
well I don't know how much help can actually be given other then tell you it is not the end of the world and things will get better for you

Remora
March 30th, 2015, 03:11 PM
well I don't know how much help can actually be given other then tell you it is not the end of the world and things will get better for you

Well, that's the point... I don't think i'll be able to get over my crush a second time, since apparently it stays persistent and returns, and since he's not gay or bi (and even if he was, who the fuck would have any degrees of positive feelings for me) it leaves me all by myself, locked in that stupid crush because he's just -that- awesome... this -is- the end of the world for me, i think right now at least.. :C

SethfromMI
March 30th, 2015, 04:29 PM
Well, that's the point... I don't think i'll be able to get over my crush a second time, since apparently it stays persistent and returns, and since he's not gay or bi (and even if he was, who the fuck would have any degrees of positive feelings for me) it leaves me all by myself, locked in that stupid crush because he's just -that- awesome... this -is- the end of the world for me, i think right now at least.. :C

It will get better, esp when you do find someone who you are not only attracted to but they are attracted to you as well. you still have plenty of time

DoodleSnap
March 30th, 2015, 06:21 PM
I know it may seem like life has nothing in store for you, but believe me it does. You are my age, so you have so much in store for you in life; so many experiences, relationships, and happy memories. Right now things aren't going exactly as you would like them to, but that will change. Currently, I think it is important that you learn to love yourself as the amazing supercomputer encased within a skull you are; you are amazing, you just need to learn it. Believing in yourself is the first step to moving on, and I know you can do it. Good luck.

Remora
March 31st, 2015, 01:30 PM
It will get better, esp when you do find someone who you are not only attracted to but they are attracted to you as well. you still have plenty of time

I guess so... i'll just wait for now, thank you so much :3

I know it may seem like life has nothing in store for you, but believe me it does. You are my age, so you have so much in store for you in life; so many experiences, relationships, and happy memories. Right now things aren't going exactly as you would like them to, but that will change. Currently, I think it is important that you learn to love yourself as the amazing supercomputer encased within a skull you are; you are amazing, you just need to learn it. Believing in yourself is the first step to moving on, and I know you can do it. Good luck.

I'll try to focus on the good things from now on- thank you very much for helping me. I'm already feeling a lot better! ^.^

SethfromMI
March 31st, 2015, 01:46 PM
I guess so... i'll just wait for now, thank you so much :3



I'll try to focus on the good things from now on- thank you very much for helping me. I'm already feeling a lot better! ^.^

you're welcome. it may be hard to see right now, but things can and will get better

DoodleSnap
March 31st, 2015, 07:08 PM
I guess so... i'll just wait for now, thank you so much :3



I'll try to focus on the good things from now on- thank you very much for helping me. I'm already feeling a lot better! ^.^
I'm really pleased to hear it, as someone also going through a hard time, I understand the pain and difficulty of battling onwards, but it is important that you keep reminding yourself that things will get better. You're doing great.

Hudor
April 1st, 2015, 09:54 AM
It's good that you are feeling better now. Although i know it may seem difficult but try to keep distance from your crush. The more you spend time with him, the stronger you'll feel for him and the worse it would be.
And congrats on coming out!

Remora
April 1st, 2015, 09:59 AM
It's good that you are feeling better now. About the crush, try to keep distance from him. The more you spend time with him, the stronger you'll feel for him and the worse it would be.

But the point is, he's also like, one of my best friends- i wouldn't want to throw that away? I'm really confused as to what to do, and i'm not really looking forward to removing the little friends i have from my life... :c

Hudor
April 1st, 2015, 10:32 AM
Okay that's tricky and kind of like my situation too.:P
Does he know you have a crush on him?

What I did with my best friend I had a crush upon was to make sure he's straight and make sure that he didn't love me back ( I asked him about thrice :P)
I told him I had a crush on him emphasizing the past tense. Fortunately the guy was pretty understanding. > Ending the unnecessary rant<

Back to your situation, I don't mean for you to necessarily burn all bridges but try to spend some time without him. Do you have some other friends? You could try spending time with them. Or you could engage yourself in some fun activity and engage your brain completely.
Distancing myself a bit made me realise my crush was after all a normal guy and not at all the magical, fantastical person I felt he was and I guess I'm pretty much over him now

Remora
April 1st, 2015, 01:26 PM
Okay that's tricky and kind of like my situation too.:P
Does he know you have a crush on him?

What I did with my best friend I had a crush upon was to make sure he's straight and make sure that he didn't love me back ( I asked him about thrice :P)
I told him I had a crush on him emphasizing the past tense. Fortunately the guy was pretty understanding. > Ending the unnecessary rant<

Back to your situation, I don't mean for you to necessarily burn all bridges but try to spend some time without him. Do you have some other friends? You could try spending time with them. Or you could engage yourself in some fun activity and engage your brain completely.
Distancing myself a bit made me realise my crush was after all a normal guy and not at all the magical, fantastical person I felt he was and I guess I'm pretty much over him now

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=218076
Yeah, i was beginning to have that last thing too, but, well, it revived :I

Hudor
April 1st, 2015, 10:37 PM
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=218076
Yeah, i was beginning to have that last thing too, but, well, it revived :I

I saw that thread but what was the conclusion? Did he mention it again? What happened afterwards?

Remora
April 2nd, 2015, 04:42 PM
I saw that thread but what was the conclusion? Did he mention it again? What happened afterwards?

i think he moved on, i told him to at least

Hudor
April 3rd, 2015, 04:24 AM
Oka cool. By moving on I assume you mean he didn't make an issue out of it.
So basically the situation currently is that you know he's straight and he knows you have a crush on him and fortunately you are friends still. I guess you need to realize that no matter how much you may love him he isn't going to return it and you guys cannot be together no matter what because he does not, cannot and will not see you in that way. Having that realization is crucial to getting over him, according to me. Apart from that it would be best if you don't think about him a lot and spend some time away from him as I said before.

Edit: I'm sorry if it sounded harsh but I needed to state everything in black and white.

Miserabilia
April 10th, 2015, 02:25 AM
No way! I just got back from a london school trip too. I know were not in the same school though :P

Anyway, that's quite the story. Although I don't really have any advice I think maybe you should have a friend irl who you could truly come out to, instead of in a weird rumoured way.