How to come to terms with your feelings

[TraciAG]

Hi all. For a long time now I have thought of myself as an asexual, and still do. But I still thought I was straight, I guess. But for a while now I have been thinking that I like girls, but can't come to terms with myself. I have a guy friend who I had been messing around with lately, and we were doing some stuff but I felt absolutely nothing. Not from the kisses, or the touching...but when I imagined myself with a girl I started feeling things. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against homosexuality, but when I imagine myself in that position it just doesn't seem right...

As a black girl from a traditional family, it would probably get very awkward if my family found out I was a lesbian, or that I was in a relationship with a girl. I don't think a lot of them would accept it. I care too much about what other people will think of me, and it stops me from venturing further with this.

So my question is...how can I get myself to come to terms? How can I accept myself, and how can I become comfortable with these feelings? If you don't have an answer you could write about your experiences with these problems, thank you

[Luminous]

There's really not much you can do besides continue to explore these feelings and accept that this is who you are and you can't change it. Maybe your family won't accept it, but there's nothing you can do about that. You are who you are, and if you are attracted to girls, so be it. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for someone, no matter who it is. It's a long, slow process, I know because I've gone through it, multiple times. Thinking I was lesbian, stayed with that for several years, then just recently realizing I'm actually not. It's weird to not be who you thought you were, I get it. But all you can do is give it time. The other option is avoiding it and pretending you are what you aren't and that's unhealthy. Don't do that.

[TraciAG]

Thinking I was lesbian, stayed with that for several years, then just recently realizing I'm actually not. It's weird to not be who you thought you were, I get it. But all you can do is give it time.

That was actually another reason I have been keeping it to myself. I didn't want to make a rash decision and end up not being what I said I was :whoops: but yeah I'm only 17, I have time..

plus I doubt I will meet anyone as I'm socially inverted anyway :P

[Luminous]

That was actually another reason I have been keeping it to myself. I didn't want to make a rash decision and end up not being what I said I was :whoops: but yeah I'm only 17, I have time..

plus I doubt I will meet anyone as I'm socially inverted anyway :P

Yeah, believe me, it's weird to have to re-come out as.. pan? bi? something that likes guys. Just do whatever you're comfortable with. And don't rush into telling people, I did and I regretted it.

[dirtyboxer55]

i would say just accept it

[Zachary G]

acceptance is the key to your own happiness, if you cant accept yourself, how do you expect anyone else to accept you? You have to come to terms with who you are and what you are about and the only way to do that is to explore those feelings and find out if it is truly who you are.