EssentialAspiration
March 22nd, 2015, 06:33 PM
I am watching everything go wrong. I am taking in advice, lectures, people screaming at me telling me how much I could truly achieve if I was to use my potential and put effort in. I put no effort into anything. Even subjects I enjoy, anything that requires any effort I do not do. And now and then I'll have a little half an hour mental breakdown where I realize my life is in tatters and I'm going nowhere but for most of my day I just kind of float through. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I just want to be happy really, I never realized that was so much to ask. I'm not going to kill myself or harm myself or anything like that because I have hope that at some point in my life I will reach a general constant of happiness and content. But right now it's not looking good to be honest. The present is pretty dark and the future only looks darker. There's so much I could do to change my future but I just don't. I don't want to. What is wrong with me?