Jealousy

[jjj794]

Hi. I'm a 17 years old gay boy, and I desperately need some help. I'm in love with one of my classmates; for convenience I'll call him Rick.

First of all, Rick is probably straight. We are very good friends and we have a lot of interests in common. I see him everyday at school and I spend most of my time talking with him. We have the same personality, the same ideas, and he is quite good looking, so I fell in love with him almost immediately after I met him for the first time four years ago. The more time passes, the more my feelings get strong.

If I don't see him for a few days I get sad and sometimes depressed. If I know that some day he's not going to school, I don't want to go either. And I don't want school to finish, because summer holidays mean a long time without seeing him.

Rick doesn't know I'm gay; nobody knows that. I would like to tell him, but I'm afraid he wouldn't accept me, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Then, something in this period is making me feel very bad: jealousy.

Every time I see him talking with other guys I feel very uncomfortable. And when I'm not with him I keep thinking about what he may be doing. Maybe he is with some other friends, and he is having a good time without me. When I think about this, I get really depressed.

A few days ago he went to the disco for the first time. I wasn't with him, and I stayed awake for all night thinking about him. I hoped that he wouldn't like going there, but the next day he couldn't stop talking about how much he had fun and what he did for all night while he was drunk. One of my classmates also asked him "did you kiss any girl?" and he replied "my friends told me so, but I don't remember, I was too drunk". After hearing that, I was so sad that I stopped eating for two days.

Now I'm afraid that he wants to go to the disco again. I don't want him to go, but there is no way I can stop him. But most of all, I'm afraid he'll find a girlfriend. This idea is killing me. I know that some day he'll find one, and I'm afraid he'll replace me with her. He'll spend most of his time with her, he'll refuse going out with me because he'll go out with her, and I'll be left alone.

[ValentinClarke]

You might have to distract yourself, somehow, I don't know how, but see how he reacts to gay people and stuff. Maybe that will give you clue to what his views are on the gay thing. Hope this helps
Maybe PM me if you just wanna talk
VC

[Dortmund]

Well perhaps try to enquire or subtly find out what his sexuality is. At least that way you've got something to fight for rather than carrying on getting yourself so worked up about a scenario in which you've not done anything about thus far.

At least after that you know whether or not there's a chance and whether or not you need to move on and find someone else you can be more than friends with.

[DoodleSnap]

As stated above, try to bring up LGBT+ rights, and stories about famous people coming out, etc... and see how he reacts to them. That might give you a slightly better indication of what sexuality he might identify with. But the only real way to find out is to ask him. You guys are clearly good friends, and good friends stick together, so don't worry too much about him finding a girlfriend and replacing you. I understand it can be difficult sometimes, but try not to worry about things that might happen, instead worrying about the things that do happen.

[SethfromMI]

Well perhaps try to enquire or subtly find out what his sexuality is. At least that way you've got something to fight for rather than carrying on getting yourself so worked up about a scenario in which you've not done anything about thus far.

At least after that you know whether or not there's a chance and whether or not you need to move on and find someone else you can be more than friends with.

pretty good advice. you will never knows what he may be unless he says what he is. if he is indeed straight then better to start moving on, at least from the romantic feelings

[jordanhardy]

pretty good advice. you will never knows what he may be unless he says what he is. if he is indeed straight then better to start moving on, at least from the romantic feelings

I agree with Set, it's probably best you start moving on. It's not healthy to be this obsessed with somebody.