A friend who came out to me

[queenofcontrariety]

So I am going to preface this by saying that I am one of the more compassionate people on the struggles of gender and sexuality, but I was blindsided when a friend of mine came out to me. I was literally the first person he told and it still kinda freaks me out just because I want to help but not push him. Now I know this probably sounds super hypocritical considering I myself and trying to figure out where I fall on the spectrum. Atm I feel like I'm a heteroromantic bisexual but for some reason every spring I get a little more confused, literally the last 3 or 4 years... but anywhooooo that isn't what's important here considering I don't plan on coming out to my parents or most of my friends until I potentially pursue a serious relationship with a girl, and even then I'm not sure if it's a bridge I want to cross. I do come from a very understanding family (I grew up with very close family friends a gay couple {who recently got married} and a lesbian couple) and my parents are fine with it. My personal preference is to keep things on a need to know basis.

But back to my friend. I am the first person he came out to, it was more just an admittance of questioning or potential bisexuality. But to make him a little more comfortable I shared where I am on the spectrum and we never really spoke about it again. He's a pretty decent friend and I want to help in any way I can but I'm not too sure what to do from here... I mean I'm sort of at a loss

[SethfromMI]

just say your still his friend and you will always be there for him. you can be there to talk to him in confidence. maybe he just wanted to finally tell someone. all you can really do is keeping being a friend and be there for him

[DoodleSnap]

Excuse me, but I am not quite sure what the issue/question is? If he is worried about coming out, as stated above, tell him that you will never judge him, and will always be there for him no matter what he wants to share.

[Zachary G]

there is nothing for you to do other than to be there for him, support him, and be a good friend because hes going to need you.

[Vermilion]

Just be there for him don't act any differently. I hated that when I told my parents I was confused, not that they care all my uncles are gay. But just act how you would with a straight friend.

[queenofcontrariety]

I feel like I was sort of misunderstood and unclear. Obviously I am going to always be his friend and treat him how I always have, but what I find strange is we've only had the one conversation about it. There have been plenty of times I've laid the groundwork but he hasn't taken the bait so to speak. Am I crazy for thinking that it would be beneficial for him to talk about it? I mean I understand he had to get this off his chest but what was the point if he never wanted to talk about it again? I get not wanting to around other people but we've had plenty of private conversations where the topic could have been transitioned to.

[ImCoolBeans]

There are plenty of people who I came out to, and then we never really talked about it again. Mostly straight guy friends of mine. But maybe he's just not ready to talk about it, or feels insecure about it. Have you directly asked him if he wants to talk about it, or let him know that you're there for him if he needs somebody to talk to about it? Even if you feel like it's obvious to him that you're there for him, people need to hear it sometimes, especially when it comes to their emotional private lives, sexuality, things like that.

[JamesSuperBoy]

I am the first person he came out to, it was more just an admittance of questioning or potential bisexuality.

I think that he may now just be questioning and perhaps testing out who he can talk with that was good he has you but at the same time it is just how he is.

He may want to talk again but that is for him to decide good you were there for him.