Lack of true confidence and trust being obvious?

[ElectricForest]

So I've come to the realization I'm pretty insecure about how I look, when I know that I really shouldn't be. When I'm around people I act pretty cocky and confident but I just have this strange feeling that girls in particular can just see through that and deep down know I'm not that confident in myself, which is usually a big turn off. On top of that I don't trust a soul aside from my family and I feel that puts girls off in a way. I barely want to show my feelings or open up to anyone and if I do, within a week or two, the feelings I had toward them are gone and I don't know why. Thoughts?

[SethfromMI]

well I think this is normal for a lot of guys. society has almost put the expectation guys should be totally confident in the way they look or just themselves in general and the fact of the matter is, guys can lack confidence just as much as anyone else.

I guess as far as advice here is a few things: you can always work out a little more if you want to lose weight/gain muscle. you can change your hair to an extent, but when it comes to looks beyond those types of things, just got to try to come to accept what you have. as far as personality, it is a process of learning to love yourself more. you can see areas where you need to grow, but you got to learn the good qualities you have and be able to appreciate them. you don't have to be cocky, just be real and comfortable about who you are.

as far as trusting people, start by trusting them with small things and then continue to get to the bigger things. you don't have to trust everyone with big things, but it is true, the girl you eventually end up with is going to be be one/a relationship which is built off of trust

it is a process. you just got to be willing to open yourself up more and make yourself in a sense more vulnerable. it is not easy and it will take time to get use to . but as time goes on, you will see the change within yourself

[ElectricForest]

well I think this is normal for a lot of guys. society has almost put the expectation guys should be totally confident in the way they look or just themselves in general and the fact of the matter is, guys can lack confidence just as much as anyone else.

I guess as far as advice here is a few things: you can always work out a little more if you want to lose weight/gain muscle. you can change your hair to an extent, but when it comes to looks beyond those types of things, just got to try to come to accept what you have. as far as personality, it is a process of learning to love yourself more. you can see areas where you need to grow, but you got to learn the good qualities you have and be able to appreciate them. you don't have to be cocky, just be real and comfortable about who you are.

as far as trusting people, start by trusting them with small things and then continue to get to the bigger things. you don't have to trust everyone with big things, but it is true, the girl you eventually end up with is going to be be one/a relationship which is built off of trust

it is a process. you just got to be willing to open yourself up more and make yourself in a sense more vulnerable. it is not easy and it will take time to get use to . but as time goes on, you will see the change within yourself

I never really thought of it in that way, starting with small then working towards larger bonds with people. I like it though I'm definitely going to start doing that. I'm just sick of being lied to and what not but I guess in the end I have nothing to really lose and it's worth trying. As far as physical appearence I'm starting to get the body I've wanted for a while and my hair is so much better from the buzz cut I used to have lol. I honestly can't say I love myself one bit though.I need to work on that, I guess i'll have to do the clichè thing and learn to love myself first before I learn to love others.

[SethfromMI]

I never really thought of it in that way, starting with small then working towards larger bonds with people. I like it though I'm definitely going to start doing that. I'm just sick of being lied to and what not but I guess in the end I have nothing to really lose and it's worth trying. As far as physical appearence I'm starting to get the body I've wanted for a while and my hair is so much better from the buzz cut I used to have lol. I honestly can't say I love myself one bit though.I need to work on that, I guess i'll have to do the clichè thing and learn to love myself first before I learn to love others.

It is about one step at a time. if you try to rush it, you probably will be frustrated. even going slow may be frustrating at times but it will probably be more manageable for you. it is good you are getting more comfortable with your looks.

as far as people lying to you, that can be hard to deal with, but know not all people are the same and unless they have given you a reason to not trust them, then try to build that relationship up.

and it is very hard to love others, without loving yourself. again start with the small and then build your way up to the bigger stuff

[DoodleSnap]

It is about one step at a time. if you try to rush it, you probably will be frustrated. even going slow may be frustrating at times but it will probably be more manageable for you. it is good you are getting more comfortable with your looks.

as far as people lying to you, that can be hard to deal with, but know not all people are the same and unless they have given you a reason to not trust them, then try to build that relationship up.

and it is very hard to love others, without loving yourself. again start with the small and then build your way up to the bigger stuff
^^Very good advice. Opening up and learning to battle internal repression would do a lot for many in society. Try to switch up how you look; get a new haircut, get some new clothes, etc...
But most importantly, try to work out what it is you are afraid of. Work out what is irrational about your fear, and try to confront it. Opening up and being comfortable with your situation is difficult, but we all have to start trying somewhere. Good luck.