I suck at everything :))

[Karkat]

Disclaimer: I do not actually think I suck at everything.

Or, at least, I acknowledge that I don't.

But apparently I'm just incompetent enough in everyone's eyes to be shoved in the corner. For everything.

Jobs. Even at work. I'm always a scapegoat, and a chew toy. I guess no one gives a fuck that I have 0 self-confidence, and getting bullshit from others does not help.

I'm trying my best to keep my chin up, but god, things have gotta change soon... I really hope I get into an apartment soon, because otherwise... I don't know. I just don't know.

I either feel ignored, or incompetent everywhere I go, and I'm just fucking sick of it. I'm never anyone's first choice, no one I'm close to even seems to care about things I am proud of, and it doesn't seem worth it to be an individual person anymore. I wish I could be an emotionless robot void of personality so I could save the energy I spend on crying and being frustrated and spend it on more practical things instead. And not give a shit what others think of me.

[Cognizant]

I feel ya. I like to think that everyone just likes me out of convenience -- for example, my mind tends to default to the idea that my boss just likes me because I'm good at my job, not because I'm a great person. Or that my friends just like hanging out with me because I have a car and that I'm open to taking them where they want to go, not because they 100% value my personality or how I interact with them.

It really sucks and honestly, I don't really know how to deal with it. I'm just hoping that I can one day get my own apartment somewhere...away from here, and try to start fresh - make some new friends, get some hobbies, and live a happier life where I feel like people value me more than just an appliance with a personality. I hope you get the change you need and realize that there is always someone out there that truly values and appreciates you.

[WanderingHeart]

Being ignored really just breaks you on the inside, doesn't it?
I just decided to go with it. Who cares anymore, really? Just stop caring. Go though the motions. At least until you figure out what to do with your life.
You could always find someplace new to live. Start a new life where you won't be ignored.

[Karkat]

Thanks, guys. It's gotten a little better since.