long distance

[Leedan]

Hi guys.
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for six and a half months now. And the past three months have been long distance.
We both want to make it work. But it's hard since he is entering matric soon, and has a lot of work.
Anyway, when we do talk, what's worse is that we don't know what to say.
So I was hoping if you guys have any suggestions in terms of interesting topics for us to talk about?? PLEASE!!
Before, I grew more and more attracted to him the more time I spent with him, but now, although we both still love each other, we're becoming less attracted to each other.

Thank you!

[Abhorrence]

If you're struggling to make it work or even find things to talk about is it worth it? If you still think it is then maybe just ask loads of questions. I find asking questions is a good way to keep on talking for ages. However, I'm not experienced in long distance relationships because I have refused, for the most part, to ever get into them.

[Straya]

Hi guys.
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for six and a half months now. And the past three months have been long distance.
We both want to make it work. But it's hard since he is entering matric soon, and has a lot of work.
Anyway, when we do talk, what's worse is that we don't know what to say.
So I was hoping if you guys have any suggestions in terms of interesting topics for us to talk about?? PLEASE!!
Before, I grew more and more attracted to him the more time I spent with him, but now, although we both still love each other, we're becoming less attracted to each other.

Thank you!

more than likely your just prolonging the inevitable and i would cut it off now and start the process of moving on

[AjA9712]

If you're struggling to make it work or even find things to talk about is it worth it? If you still think it is then maybe just ask loads of questions. I find asking questions is a good way to keep on talking for ages. However, I'm not experienced in long distance relationships because I have refused, for the most part, to ever get into them.
I agree completely with this 😊
I've had long distance relationships that Didn't really workout but if you really have strong feelings for Each other your both make the Right decisions in the end 😊

[ImCoolBeans]

Long distance relationships can work, but the majority that I've seen do not end up working out. I've been in one myself, and can honestly say that it's hardly worth it. Even if you think you love the person, or feel strongly bonded to him/her, a long distance relationship means never actually getting to spend time with your significant other, or at least not spending time with him/her often at all. I don't know about you, but for me that hurt a lot and the way my LDR evolved over time only hurt even more. I'm not saying that all long distance relationships are doomed or bad, but the majority of people I know who have been in them say similar things, and speaking from experience, there is the potential for a lot of hurt in a LDR.

[Leedan]

Long distance relationships can work, but the majority that I've seen do not end up working out. I've been in one myself, and can honestly say that it's hardly worth it. Even if you think you love the person, or feel strongly bonded to him/her, a long distance relationship means never actually getting to spend time with your significant other, or at least not spending time with him/her often at all. I don't know about you, but for me that hurt a lot and the way my LDR evolved over time only hurt even more. I'm not saying that all long distance relationships are doomed or bad, but the majority of people I know who have been in them say similar things, and speaking from experience, there is the potential for a lot of hurt in a LDR.

We're both aware of this and discussed it and the possibilities that come with a LDR, before we agreed to enter it. Very recently, we had another serious discussion because we feel disconnected from each other. But we agreed that we want to work on it and work around it. The thing is. He doesn't seem to think like I do. And that's okay. But I'm not sure how to suggest things in a way that doesn't sound naggy. Anyway, for me, the little things like sending each other pictures, which we used to do very often, and voice notes, which have now stopped, really count, and can help us to feel a bit more connected. I guess he doesn't seem to think so though.

[ImCoolBeans]

We're both aware of this and discussed it and the possibilities that come with a LDR, before we agreed to enter it. Very recently, we had another serious discussion because we feel disconnected from each other. But we agreed that we want to work on it and work around it. The thing is. He doesn't seem to think like I do. And that's okay. But I'm not sure how to suggest things in a way that doesn't sound naggy. Anyway, for me, the little things like sending each other pictures, which we used to do very often, and voice notes, which have now stopped, really count, and can help us to feel a bit more connected. I guess he doesn't seem to think so though.

Little things like that made a big difference, and can really be one of the best ways to feel connected in a LDR. If you're concerned you should be honest with him and tell him how you feel. I was also really afraid of sounding annoying or being naggy, but if you're really feeling that way then you should say something. In my case, he was "busy" but he's apparently the busiest person on the planet (or so he thinks :P )

[Leedan]

Little things like that made a big difference, and can really be one of the best ways to feel connected in a LDR. If you're concerned you should be honest with him and tell him how you feel. I was also really afraid of sounding annoying or being naggy, but if you're really feeling that way then you should say something. In my case, he was "busy" but he's apparently the busiest person on the planet (or so he thinks :P )

Yeah. He is also very busy with school work. But we do talk. So I'm pretty sure that it shouldn't be too much of a hassle. I just really don't know how to bring it up. But I guess I have to. Thanks

[JamesSuperBoy]

Yeah. He is also very busy with school work. But we do talk. So I'm pretty sure that it shouldn't be too much of a hassle. I just really don't know how to bring it up. But I guess I have to. Thanks

I know it might sound obvious but have you thought about trying to schedule your times to chat maybe the ldr involves different time zones. Maybe you could bring it up for discussion by suggesting you both try and be online at the same time to chat say once a week or so and at other times you can just drop and email. I think when I read your first post you were together for a few months and then he moved away.

Have you thought about writing an actual letter to post or a card maybes?

[Saint of Sinners]

It can work, but it's not easy. Mine didn't work. But still, you shouldn't give up till it's over.

Maybe you can talk about your day life? All the small things that happened and stuff.

[DoodleSnap]

Long distance relationships can be hard, but like in any other relationship: Communication is key. Speak to him about how you feel, and speak to him about the unspoken between you. Secrets and lies make barriers in relationships, so let him open up and understand. But in any case, as long as you two are honest and clear with each other, you should be able to stay on good terms no matter what happens romantically.