My boyfriend wants to have sex but I want to wait, how do I tell him?

[mynameisedith]

My name is Edith and I'm nearly 18 years old, my boyfriend is a year older than me. I know it's silly because I'm almost an adult but I'm a virgin and I really, really don't want to have sex just yet. My boyfriend, on the opposite, has been asking me for that almost constantly for the past couple of months or so.
And while I realize that he is getting more an more impatient with me, I don't know - I just can't make myself feel anything else than fear and apprehension about the whole thing, no matter how hard I try.
I don't think he understands, though, and he's becoming more and more aggressive about the whole situation. Like recently on our way to a party, he got me so scared that I cried. We were in the car alone, and he stopped somewhere midway and started kissing me - that's what I'm comfortable enough with), but then he just kind of pinned me down so that I could barely move and wouldn't stop when I told him to. It was only when he got me frightened enough to cry that he eventually would let go off of me! Never
before have I been so terrified in my life, I just asked him to drive me home.
Apart from that, he really ia a brilliant boyfriend and he does respect me, but in this particular aspect I just can't get my message across. I'd be grateful if you could give my any ideas how to.explain what I feel like to him, because frankly I'm at my wits ends right now.
Thank you in advance for your replies!

[onewingedangel666]

I would just tell him. If he's a good guy and a real man, he'll understand. If he gets angry or frustrated, he obviously isn't even grown up enough for sex.

[Fiction]

Like the person above says, just literally explain exactly how you feel. It sounds like you may have already done this though. If he can't understand that then he should at least respect it. If he can't even respect it then the relationship isn't healthy.

[HUSTLEMAN]

Tell him your feelings about this. If he truly likes you he'll understand and lessen his advances. If he doesn't then he just doesn't deserve you, plain and simple.

[ImCoolBeans]

I agree with what the others have said. Tell him how you feel -- this is something that he'll need to respect no matter what he wants. And if he can't respect that then maybe he isn't in the relationship for the right reasons.

[Stronk Serb]

Well, pinning you down in his car should set off some alarms to you. What guys usually forget is that both have to consent. I think you should tell him you won't tolerate his pressure any more. If he's man enough, he'll wait. Also maybe he's so anxious to have sex with you because you're a virgin but that's no excuse.

[DoodleSnap]

Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship; so speak to him about how you feel. Let him know your thoughts, and if he is mature enough, he will understand. Working together as a couple towards solving a problem is much better than bottling up one's feelings and ignoring issues. Good luck.

[SethfromMI]

I would make it clear you want to wait till you are ready and if he cant accept that then you can't be with him

[Pitsirikos]

You have to be clear to him about your feelings. If he really loves you he will understand and wait till the moment you will be ready. If not, then I don't believe he is the perfect person for you. In a relationship, you have to love and respect your spouse.

[Uranus]

Just sit down with him, and tell him. If he really cares for you, he would respect the fact that you want to wait for sex. If all he has on his mind is sex, then he's really not a good boyfriend and you should move on.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I can't stress enough how much you should tell him. Having sex when you don't want to do it will make the experience, (likely) horrible and honestly, if it was a healthy relationship, he would understand completely. I mean, if you keep it silent, of course he's not going to know, but if you tell him, and if he still wants to, you should consider doing something about it because I can tell you now, trying to do sexual things when you don't want to, is very very difficult, and he should values your wants anyway.

Good luck :P