My first real ldr *I think*

[queenofcontrariety]

I am awful at relationships, it's just a known fact. My judgment is terrible, I can be super insecure and codependent, and I fall for people way too quickly... but here I am.

I'm calling this my first real ldr, I mean we haven't explicitly defined it as that (I know making assumptions is super dangerous) but he calls me babe and sends me cute little compliments and is just great, and it all points to what seems like a relationship. He's everything I could've ever wanted, tall (like 9 inches taller than me), really sweet, a natural leader and he can do the one thing NO ONE else in my life has been able to do... he can calm me down. I'm pretty all over the place emotionally, I have a lot of rage and sadness and I panic, and he's been able to calm me down in all those situations. he's the most perfect human being I've ever had the pleasure of talking to. I've watched enough catfish to reverse look up his pictures and crosscheck social media to make sure he's legit (I know I sound crazy but it is what it is).

Here's the issue: he's 3,000 miles away. I stay up later to talk to him and he's usually awake if I have a bad dream or just wake up panicked, and that's nice, but I want him here. I haven't had an ldr like this before. I've only had guys who would use me, this is the first time I've felt a genuine connection with someone and I don't know what to do. So all powerful VT community, please save me, I don't know what I'm doing:confused::wub:

[Horatio Nelson]

I don't want to upset you or anything, but I don't think LDR's are a good thing. It's too hard. You want that physical connection so badly that it just eats you up. I know it's hard to accept these kind of things, because I'm sure you really do love that person. But you can only do so much via messaging and video calls. I don't think it's realistic, as great as it might seem now. This is just how I feel personally.

Unless of course there is a legitimate chance of getting to see this person often.

[queenofcontrariety]

I don't want to upset you or anything, but I don't think LDR's are a good thing. It's too hard. You want that physical connection so badly that it just eats you up. I know it's hard to accept these kind of things, because I'm sure you really do love that person. But you can only do so much via messaging and video calls. I don't think it's realistic, as great as it might seem now. This is just how I feel personally.

Unless of course there is a legitimate chance of getting to see this person often.

I was ALWAYS against ldrs but he's totally changed that for me and it's just weird, I mean I'd love the physical contact but I feel like the emotional support is what I've always needed but never gotten. I mean he's graduating hs in a couple month, I still have a year left, I'm no sure where either of is might end up, once I have a better idea I might decide to cut my losses, it's just one of those things where I never thought someone like him could actually exist

[JamesSuperBoy]

I have no experience of LDRs but when I read other posts it does seem there are advantages maybe benefits not sure if thats the right words but yeah you know to check and you have. So enjoy it the different time zones work for you. Sure lots of different opinions but its yours that matter and you can just enjoy it for that.

Take care.

[thatcountrykid]

I couldn't do an LDR unless something really changed me or I had a possibility to see them soon.

Contact I beleive is a very important part of the relationship

[Coldfire]

Im awful at relationships in general so all i have to say is

Good luck, I hope all goes well

[Emerald Dream]

I think it's great for anyone to find someone that understands them - some that can listen to your concerns and, in your words "calm me down." It's important, and someone who really cares like that is often few and far between.

If you think you have a bond with this person, and signs point to a relationship, then it's a good thing. It doesn't matter if it's someone next door or a LDR. Sometimes it just feels right. I hope this goes well for you. :)

[Melodic]

Don't listen to statistics. Yes, LDR relationships don't last with many. It's the same with any other type of relationship as well. You should try to build a relationship with this person. You'll always wonder what would've happened if you didn't.