How do I say I like another guy?

[Joe Bloggs]

EDIT: For the sake of simplifying things, I am bi-sexual.

For the sake of protecting identity's (mine and others) I wont use peoples real names, I think you can guess that my name isn't really Joe... but call me it anyways please :)

So I'm 16 and used to go to a grammar school (all boys), which has not lead to myself being bi-sexual but has meant that I tend to prefer boys over girls now, which was not the case before. I have had quite a few crushes over the years that I was attending my secondary school (high school for Americans I think), I now have an apprenticeship elsewhere, but though-out the years one specific boy has made a real impact on me, we will call him Ben. We were really good friends at school and I really thought he was funny, cute, kind... the lot! But because of fear of rejection I never said anything or done anything.

However recently he posted to Facebook (after telling friends and family) that he was gay! He boy who I loved also liked guys! I was overjoyed! I instantly messaged him to say congratulations for having the courage to tell people (something that I do not) and we began talking in great depth about who he really was and what he really thought about things, for obviously he had made a cover-up story to protect who he really was.
Within the next day, unfortunately, a boy he had been going out with for around 6 months stopped being kind and friendly and so the relationship that he was in ended. I had known about this relationship the day before and so I'm sure you know that my hopes were sky rocketing about now! Not only was he gay, but single! I decided to let him get over his ex before thinking about saying anything however today (the day after his break-up) a boy has messaged him saying how he also likes Ben... we will call him Liam. Ben goes to a dancing class and theatre class 2 times a week (once each) and Liam happens to also attend, which is where they know each other. They are now talking in great depth and are meeting this Sunday (today being Friday) which breaks my heart.

My question is, how on earth can I tell him I'm bi, when no one else in the world knows and how can I say that I really like him!? I don't want to ruin a relationship that he may enjoy but by the same token, I really do love him... and yes I do know what love is I have had female relationships in the past who I have loved. Please tell me what to do! I don't even know if he likes me, we do talk to each other a lot after I found out that he was gay but it hurts to talk to him knowing I can't tell him the truth!

Thanks for taking the time to read my essay :D its a complicated situation with many ins and outs, most of which I haven't gotten into but please help me.

~Joe B

[JamesSuperBoy]

EDIT: For the sake of simplifying things, I am bi-sexual.

For the sake of protecting identity's (mine and others) I wont use peoples real names, I think you can guess that my name isn't really Joe... but call me it anyways please :)

So I'm 16 and used to go to a grammar school (all boys), which has not lead to myself being bi-sexual but has meant that I tend to prefer boys over girls now, which was not the case before. I have had quite a few crushes over the years that I was attending my secondary school (high school for Americans I think), I now have an apprenticeship elsewhere, but though-out the years one specific boy has made a real impact on me, we will call him Ben. We were really good friends at school and I really thought he was funny, cute, kind... the lot! But because of fear of rejection I never said anything or done anything.

However recently he posted to Facebook (after telling friends and family) that he was gay! He boy who I loved also liked guys! I was overjoyed! I instantly messaged him to say congratulations for having the courage to tell people (something that I do not) and we began talking in great depth about who he really was and what he really thought about things, for obviously he had made a cover-up story to protect who he really was.
Within the next day, unfortunately, a boy he had been going out with for around 6 months stopped being kind and friendly and so the relationship that he was in ended. I had known about this relationship the day before and so I'm sure you know that my hopes were sky rocketing about now! Not only was he gay, but single! I decided to let him get over his ex before thinking about saying anything however today (the day after his break-up) a boy has messaged him saying how he also likes Ben... we will call him Liam. Ben goes to a dancing class and theatre class 2 times a week (once each) and Liam happens to also attend, which is where they know each other. They are now talking in great depth and are meeting this Sunday (today being Friday) which breaks my heart.

My question is, how on earth can I tell him I'm bi, when no one else in the world knows and how can I say that I really like him!? I don't want to ruin a relationship that he may enjoy but by the same token, I really do love him... and yes I do know what love is I have had female relationships in the past who I have loved. Please tell me what to do! I don't even know if he likes me, we do talk to each other a lot after I found out that he was gay but it hurts to talk to him knowing I can't tell him the truth!

Thanks for taking the time to read my essay :D its a complicated situation with many ins and outs, most of which I haven't gotten into but please help me.

~Joe B



we do talk to each other a lot after I found out that he was gay

~Joe B

Its only been a few days since you knew?

Why can you not feel as thought you can tell him. Is it some time since you actually met Ben?

If or if not he actually likes you lets say that you will know in time.

But I guess you could message him on Fb and let him know and of course say you can only tell him for now. I am sure he will understand. If you have no interest in his pastime/ hobby of theater and dance then you have a choice ask him if you can go along with him.

I know it can all be difficult and seem very hard but I think this is a good opportunity for you. If not for love then at least a friend or 2 who are open about thier sexuality.

[Vermilion]

You could ask him would he go out with you if you were gay and see his reaction ? If not I think you just have to be honest with him he knows how hard it was to come out so he should understand why your not out as bi. You'll never know till you ask/ tell him, he mite feel the same way about you.

[Joe Bloggs]

James, yes I found out only about 3 days ago now. But I don't feel comfortable because well not only have I not told anyone before, but I don't know if he likes me too... I don't want him to freak out if he finds out and isn't into me. And I haven't seen him physically in around 3 or 4 months, although we have caught up on Facebook a couple of times since then.

I rather like your idea of simply telling him that I am bi and watching his reaction. But I would need a lot of courage to do that... this is something that I have gone to great lengths to hide and am frankly very sacred of it coming out for some reason. Thank you for helping :)

~Joe B

[Joe Bloggs]

Hmm thanks Tom, but then if I later came out to brung gay and he said that he wouldn't, Ben would defiantly know that I like him. I don't want it to be awkward for us... but I do understand why I should at least tell him something. Trouble is, I don't want to ruin something he already has as he's meeting Liam this Sunday!
Thank you for helping though :)

~Joe B

[JamesSuperBoy]

James, yes I found out only about 3 days ago now. But I don't feel comfortable because well not only have I not told anyone before, but I don't know if he likes me too... I don't want him to freak out if he finds out and isn't into me. And I haven't seen him physically in around 3 or 4 months, although we have caught up on Facebook a couple of times since then.

I rather like your idea of simply telling him that I am bi and watching his reaction. But I would need a lot of courage to do that... this is something that I have gone to great lengths to hide and am frankly very sacred of it coming out for some reason. Thank you for helping :)

~Joe B

Yes - that is why I suggested you actually do spend some time together maybe the theater and dance maybe something else. That way you can maybe judge if/if not he likes you. I would think you look to be friends and and see what happens.

[Joe Bloggs]

Yes - that is why I suggested you actually do spend some time together maybe the theater and dance maybe something else. That way you can maybe judge if/if not he likes you. I would think you look to be friends and and see what happens.


But Liam attends those and I don't want to get in the way of them in case something is there. It wouldn't be fair on either of them. However I will try and think of something else to do :) thank you for helping so much!

~Joe B

[PinkFloyd]

I think you should investigate. Ask around and examine his habits. From there, I'd ask him out if you think he is.

[JamesSuperBoy]

But Liam attends those and I don't want to get in the way of them in case something is there. It wouldn't be fair on either of them. However I will try and think of something else to do :) thank you for helping so much!

~Joe B

Considerate of you but thats not helping - you would ask "Ben" on Fb about meeting up and suggest you would like to just go see the theater dance.

I dont think you would be getting in the way!!

[Joe Bloggs]

I think you should investigate. Ask around and examine his habits. From there, I'd ask him out if you think he is.

Hmm yea I'll think about that idea... thanks :)

~Joe B

[Joe Bloggs]

Considerate of you but thats not helping - you would ask "Ben" on Fb about meeting up and suggest you would like to just go see the theater dance.

I dont think you would be getting in the way!!

Thank you :) but even still I don't know the first thing about dancing or theatre. I will defiantly try to meet up though. Thank you so very much. :)

~Joe B

[JamesSuperBoy]

Thank you :) but even still I don't know the first thing about dancing or theatre. I will defiantly try to meet up though. Thank you so very much. :)

~Joe B


Great - i suggested the theater and dance as its thier hobby and everybody likes when people show interest in thier hobbies. You don't need to know anything about it. In fact better you do not they can tell you about it.

[Joe Bloggs]

Great - i suggested the theater and dance as its thier hobby and everybody likes when people show interest in thier hobbies. You don't need to know anything about it. In fact better you do not they can tell you about it.

I think you misunderstand and I haven't exlained well enough. He practices dance and theatre at a class along with many others. But again thank you I do believe I know what to do know.

~Joe B

[JamesSuperBoy]

I think you misunderstand and I haven't exlained well enough. He practices dance and theatre at a class along with many others. But again thank you I do believe I know what to do know.

~Joe B


Great - I hope your plans whatever work out.

Post again if you want. Sometimes even just asking will help you see things better.

You did explain well and I get the practice is with others but it would give you some way to meet up and see how things go.

[Straya]

EDIT: For the sake of simplifying things, I am bi-sexual.

For the sake of protecting identity's (mine and others) I wont use peoples real names, I think you can guess that my name isn't really Joe... but call me it anyways please :)

So I'm 16 and used to go to a grammar school (all boys), which has not lead to myself being bi-sexual but has meant that I tend to prefer boys over girls now, which was not the case before. I have had quite a few crushes over the years that I was attending my secondary school (high school for Americans I think), I now have an apprenticeship elsewhere, but though-out the years one specific boy has made a real impact on me, we will call him Ben. We were really good friends at school and I really thought he was funny, cute, kind... the lot! But because of fear of rejection I never said anything or done anything.

However recently he posted to Facebook (after telling friends and family) that he was gay! He boy who I loved also liked guys! I was overjoyed! I instantly messaged him to say congratulations for having the courage to tell people (something that I do not) and we began talking in great depth about who he really was and what he really thought about things, for obviously he had made a cover-up story to protect who he really was.
Within the next day, unfortunately, a boy he had been going out with for around 6 months stopped being kind and friendly and so the relationship that he was in ended. I had known about this relationship the day before and so I'm sure you know that my hopes were sky rocketing about now! Not only was he gay, but single! I decided to let him get over his ex before thinking about saying anything however today (the day after his break-up) a boy has messaged him saying how he also likes Ben... we will call him Liam. Ben goes to a dancing class and theatre class 2 times a week (once each) and Liam happens to also attend, which is where they know each other. They are now talking in great depth and are meeting this Sunday (today being Friday) which breaks my heart.

My question is, how on earth can I tell him I'm bi, when no one else in the world knows and how can I say that I really like him!? I don't want to ruin a relationship that he may enjoy but by the same token, I really do love him... and yes I do know what love is I have had female relationships in the past who I have loved. Please tell me what to do! I don't even know if he likes me, we do talk to each other a lot after I found out that he was gay but it hurts to talk to him knowing I can't tell him the truth!

Thanks for taking the time to read my essay :D its a complicated situation with many ins and outs, most of which I haven't gotten into but please help me.

~Joe B

my sugestion just tell him and leave the choice up to him wether he wants to pursue a relation ship with you or the other guy. you keep saying it wouldnt be fair if there was something between them but what also isnt fair if he has feelings for you but dosent think he has a chance because he thinks your straight and you might be the person who he wants to go out with other the other guy

[DoodleSnap]

Message him and say something along the lines of: "Considering you had the bravery to come out, I felt safe coming out to you as bi", or of that ilk. Then, might I suggest saying that one of the ways you found out was through your crush on him? That would give you a reason to speak to him about it, and share with him your feelings. Tell him how you feel not having come out to anyone else, and I'm sure he'll understand and be happy to support you. Good luck.