mopper
March 4th, 2015, 03:57 PM
Hi, i'm andrew, and i'm probably depressed. I don't even know.
so basically, i'm going to give the entire story of my life and feelings. not leaving anything out. first, i'm going to tell about myself
age: 15
height: 6'
weight: 220lb
interests: minecraft
sports: baseball
okay, so i'm going to start with my emotions. i was always a fairly short-tempered person, but ever since my depression started, i've been prone to lashing out at people, especially my friends/siblings/parents. Sometimes, i am masked as happy, having fun but still crying inside, and sometimes i'm just straight up sad.
i've also always been a very shy person, and this has changed a little. there are certain people who i am able to talk to like my 'friends' who i don't even really connect with. and there's this girl who i really like, but she's outgoing and pretty and friendly, but i can't find the nerve to talk to her. she'd probably not feel the same way anyway. i have no confidence in myself.
so as for minecraft, i am a member of a very large multiplayer network called mcpvp (over 5 million total players to date). i've been there for 3 years, and i am one of the longest tendered player on the network. i've been working to be a moderator of that for a long time, and i've come to know a few of their administrators ( all in their 20's). anyway, not being a moderator has never really bothered me until recently, when I got really upset about it. these are things that shouldn't really bother me, but they do. I feel like by getting a position, i will feel less invisible within that community, as well as in real life. I also really need the confidence boost.
I really need some kind of help. I'm always sad, and I have no one to tell me feelings to. My biggest problem is the girl who i feel like is so far out of reach.
so basically, i'm going to give the entire story of my life and feelings. not leaving anything out. first, i'm going to tell about myself
age: 15
height: 6'
weight: 220lb
interests: minecraft
sports: baseball
okay, so i'm going to start with my emotions. i was always a fairly short-tempered person, but ever since my depression started, i've been prone to lashing out at people, especially my friends/siblings/parents. Sometimes, i am masked as happy, having fun but still crying inside, and sometimes i'm just straight up sad.
i've also always been a very shy person, and this has changed a little. there are certain people who i am able to talk to like my 'friends' who i don't even really connect with. and there's this girl who i really like, but she's outgoing and pretty and friendly, but i can't find the nerve to talk to her. she'd probably not feel the same way anyway. i have no confidence in myself.
so as for minecraft, i am a member of a very large multiplayer network called mcpvp (over 5 million total players to date). i've been there for 3 years, and i am one of the longest tendered player on the network. i've been working to be a moderator of that for a long time, and i've come to know a few of their administrators ( all in their 20's). anyway, not being a moderator has never really bothered me until recently, when I got really upset about it. these are things that shouldn't really bother me, but they do. I feel like by getting a position, i will feel less invisible within that community, as well as in real life. I also really need the confidence boost.
I really need some kind of help. I'm always sad, and I have no one to tell me feelings to. My biggest problem is the girl who i feel like is so far out of reach.