The Loss Of My Mum

[Luedizer4Eva]

I have recently turned last October but when I was 12 in 2009 I lost my mum to cancer and ever since she died I've fount out things my mum and dad kept from me and my bros and a lot about people I thought the works of. When my mum died her and my dad were divorcing and at times she wasn't always the best. It just upsets me that they never told me and she wasn't the best of mums. I feel 50% really misses her and 50% is glad she's gone, I just don't know what I should feel.

[Miserabilia]

That sucks so much! Why would you feel glad she's gone? I could understand if it's because they kept secrets about her and them from you. Sadly there's usualy a lot of dark things in adults lives that we just don't hear about as children.
It's really sad that they didn't trust you enough to tell you they would divorce though. Have you talked to your father about it?

[Pulp501]

I lost my mom last year. She was an alcoholic and we had a rocky relationship but I still loved her more than anything and I've been devastated ever since, however there's still feelings of anger at her for sure. I don't I've ever been glad she was gone though

[Abhorrence]

Maybe it could be a stage of grief? Anger is one of them and maybe you feel angry that this has happened?

[SethfromMI]

I have recently turned last October but when I was 12 in 2009 I lost my mum to cancer and ever since she died I've fount out things my mum and dad kept from me and my bros and a lot about people I thought the works of. When my mum died her and my dad were divorcing and at times she wasn't always the best. It just upsets me that they never told me and she wasn't the best of mums. I feel 50% really misses her and 50% is glad she's gone, I just don't know what I should feel.

it is ok to have different feelings. it is very conflicting. there is no wrong way to feel and there is no reason you have to settle one way or the other