Tesserax
February 27th, 2015, 10:27 AM
I thought I'd finally let go. I had a crush, and she had a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend, but I don't know if it's still going. I thought I had finally moved on, and just let her go, and I was feeling pretty good about it. That was until a friend of mine said to me "you definitely like her". This got me thinking about her again. And I don't know if I actually moved on before, but now I think about her every time I'm not distracted or busy, and it just fills me up with dread all the time because I'm sure she doesn't like me.
Anyway, we're good friends, and I'm good friends with her best friend too, and we have this presentation ball where girls are supposed to invite guys. On the way home one day, I overheard them talking and, although I couldn't hear her properly (because I wasn't trying to eavesdrop), I could have sworn I heard her say something like "I'm probably not going to go, because I don't have a partner". This absolutely tore me up inside, and is even at this moment eating away at me, though I try my best not to show it (I'm good at that).
It really hurt when she said that, but only because it felt like she actually dislikes me. Am I that distant from her? Do you hate me or something? Like please, I would gladly be your partner but all you need to do is ask. Am I repulsive to you? Is that why you don't even glance at me, why you don't even seem to act as if I exist? Why can't you just talk to me, please, like I just want to spend, just ONE night with you, having fun, dancing and laughing. Is it so much to ask for you to ask me if you can't find a partner?
It's just breaking me, I keep thinking along these lines, I can't stop it. I find that I sort of hate my friend for telling me that I like her, because I've sort of "relapsed" into this "She hate me she hate me she hates me" train of thought. I'm just so sick of the games that these people play; If you want me to ask you, I'm not going to do that. Traditionally, you're supposed to ask me, and I can't do anything about it. Just please, if you hate me, if you dislike me, if you want me to just stop bothering you, please tell me. I'm sorry for doing this, but Tiarne, it's me, and please, if you are a member of this forum, or happen to stumble upon my post. Please, just PLEASE tell me what's wrong with me? What you hate so much about me, because I'd rather have you say it now, than have the idea of not knowing WHY torment me for so much longer.
I'm really sorry Tiarne, but I can't help it. I just can't get over my feelings for you, and I try I really do, I try to move on so that you can go on with your life without me in the way, but it's just so hard doing it all alone. You may think you know me Tiarne, but you don't know what happens in my head, the darkness swirling around, the demons that come to taunt me, I'm so confused right now and I just need some help. If you're reading this, please help me, and hopefully we can stay friends after
~A. Ng
Anyway, we're good friends, and I'm good friends with her best friend too, and we have this presentation ball where girls are supposed to invite guys. On the way home one day, I overheard them talking and, although I couldn't hear her properly (because I wasn't trying to eavesdrop), I could have sworn I heard her say something like "I'm probably not going to go, because I don't have a partner". This absolutely tore me up inside, and is even at this moment eating away at me, though I try my best not to show it (I'm good at that).
It really hurt when she said that, but only because it felt like she actually dislikes me. Am I that distant from her? Do you hate me or something? Like please, I would gladly be your partner but all you need to do is ask. Am I repulsive to you? Is that why you don't even glance at me, why you don't even seem to act as if I exist? Why can't you just talk to me, please, like I just want to spend, just ONE night with you, having fun, dancing and laughing. Is it so much to ask for you to ask me if you can't find a partner?
It's just breaking me, I keep thinking along these lines, I can't stop it. I find that I sort of hate my friend for telling me that I like her, because I've sort of "relapsed" into this "She hate me she hate me she hates me" train of thought. I'm just so sick of the games that these people play; If you want me to ask you, I'm not going to do that. Traditionally, you're supposed to ask me, and I can't do anything about it. Just please, if you hate me, if you dislike me, if you want me to just stop bothering you, please tell me. I'm sorry for doing this, but Tiarne, it's me, and please, if you are a member of this forum, or happen to stumble upon my post. Please, just PLEASE tell me what's wrong with me? What you hate so much about me, because I'd rather have you say it now, than have the idea of not knowing WHY torment me for so much longer.
I'm really sorry Tiarne, but I can't help it. I just can't get over my feelings for you, and I try I really do, I try to move on so that you can go on with your life without me in the way, but it's just so hard doing it all alone. You may think you know me Tiarne, but you don't know what happens in my head, the darkness swirling around, the demons that come to taunt me, I'm so confused right now and I just need some help. If you're reading this, please help me, and hopefully we can stay friends after
~A. Ng