Social Misconseptions?

[lolnoskill]

15/M here, seemed to have missed some major social stuff between 11-14 so would someons mind answering my questions:

1.what does it means when someone asks someone "out"? I thought this was kind of relationship thing that you had when you were 12 but people are still doing at my age and im still confused on what it is.

2.When does a relationship (bf and gf)"start"? I mean like in a mature (not like the one in Q.1) relationship when is it "official"?

3.Is it normal to only to be friends with a girl to initiate a bf/gf relationship?

4.How to intiate conversation with girl That you already know(not personally) and Dont know?

5.How to talk to a girl when you have no mutal interests? E.g No girl is gonna want to talk about computers, BO2 or pron

6.What age do you start getting "crushes"?

7.Everyone thinks Im depressed (never smile) and it maybe impacting on relationships.How to change this without smiling?

8.What would you in a bf/gf relationship at my age?
I meaning like in films they would eat food at a restutant together, so at this age what would you do?

I will edit this post because I have a ton more questions i would like answered in the morning.

[Maiden]

im from sweden m/22 so this might not be the same as in your country


1.what does it means when someone asks someone "out"? I thought this was kind of relationship thing that you had when you were 12 but people are still doing at my age and im still confused on what it is.

When i was your age i didn't really ask girls out to show that i was intressted in them, it basicly developed while in school and then we hung out in our spare time. sure i've taken girls out to do things but never as a first step.

2.When does a relationship (bf and gf)"start"? I mean like in a mature (not like the one in Q.1) relationship when is it "official"?

when both persons see it as a relationship.

3.Is it normal to only to be friends with a girl to initiate a bf/gf relationship?

sure thats one way to go but it's good to atleast hint that you have other intentions than just friendship.

4.How to intiate conversation with girl That you already know(not personally) and Dont know?

It depends on your intentions towards the girl, but a simple hi usally does the trick ;)

5.How to talk to a girl when you have no mutal interests? E.g No girl is gonna want to talk about computers, BO2 or pron

you could allways act intressted in her intrests and ask questions about them, and pick upp on things she says to continue the conversation.

6.What age do you start getting "crushes"?

hard to say it's a specific age, but i had my first crush and girlfriend when i was about 10ish i dnt really remember.

7.Everyone thinks Im depressed (never smile) and it maybe impacting on relationships.How to change this without smiling?

if your never smile people wont find that much intresst in you, someone who looks happy and fun is allot more intresting than someone who looks gloomy.

8.What would you in a bf/gf relationship at my age?
I meaning like in films they would eat food at a restutant together, so at this age what would you do?

just spend time together do things you both enjoy.
taking people out to resturants when your 15 just semms odd to me.

im allso going to describe how my "dating" life looks like at the age of 22.

basicly how it works here is that you hook upp with people at parties and have sex, you do this a few times and maybe something will develop.
but mostly it's all just a game, that you go out to hook upp with someone just because it's fun, and that goes for both girls and guys.

[Horatio Nelson]

1. Didn't know 12 year olds did this? Asking someone out on a date isn't immature and is a great way to find out if you like that person.

2. When two people agree to it, and feelings are mutual.

3. Yes.

4. Ask her questions, find out what she likes and dislikes.

5. If that's all you're into then there are other things you need to do before you go looking for a relationship.

6. At 12? Crushes are lame in my opinion. There have no substance, these are just fleeting feelings.

7. What? No one wants to be around someone that's sad all the time. What's wrong with smiling?

8. You just do things together. It's not that big of a deal. If you are really into each other, being together will be enough.

basicly how it works here is that you hook upp with people at parties and have sex, you do this a few times and maybe something will develop.
but mostly it's all just a game, that you go out to hook upp with someone just because it's fun, and that goes for both girls and guys.

I'm sorry, but this is BS. Relationships are not just about sex.

[Melodic]

1.what does it means when someone asks someone "out"? I thought this was kind of relationship thing that you had when you were 12 but people are still doing at my age and im still confused on what it is.

Honestly, it's either a relationship or a date that could possibly lead up to a relationship..


2.When does a relationship (bf and gf)"start"? I mean like in a mature (not like the one in Q.1) relationship when is it "official"?

This honestly depends on how the relationship begins. The most common ways are a couple dates then relationship or a friendship leading into a relationship.


3.Is it normal to only to be friends with a girl to initiate a bf/gf relationship?

Yes. It's pretty common actually. That is why guys who got rejected while trying this theory created the friendzone.

4.How to intiate conversation with girl That you already know(not personally) and Dont know?

Compliment. Say Hi. Talk about your science homework. Just please, don't talk about the weather.


5.How to talk to a girl when you have no mutal interests? E.g No girl is gonna want to talk about computers, BO2 or pron

Well, you both can try to create similar interests. Honestly, if you have nothing in common, it's pretty difficult to keep a conversation going.

6.What age do you start getting "crushes"?

Majority of people I've seen get crushes has started through ages 8-11

7.Everyone thinks Im depressed (never smile) and it maybe impacting on relationships.How to change this without smiling?

Just be yourself. Don't try to change how you appear to others to attract attention for a relationship.

8.What would you in a bf/gf relationship at my age?
I meaning like in films they would eat food at a restutant together, so at this age what would you do?

You just go with things. Sooner or later, you'll find what works for you both.

I will edit this post because I have a ton more questions i would like answered in the morning.

[JamesSuperBoy]

l"?
basicly how it works here is that you hook upp with people at parties and have sex, you do this a few times and maybe something will develop.
but mostly it's all just a game, that you go out to hook upp with someone just because it's fun, and that goes for both girls and guys.

I dont agree but that is your life and opinion.

15/M here, seemed to have missed some major social stuff between 11-14 so would someons mind answering my questions:

1.what does it means when someone asks someone "out"? I thought this was kind of relationship thing that you had when you were 12 but people are still doing at my age and im still confused on what it is.
It can mean different things but always be honest and be aware others can misunderstand.

2.When does a relationship (bf and gf)"start"? I mean like in a mature (not like the one in Q.1) relationship when is it "official"?

It would start as a two people develop feelings for each other,. and be open and honest as to how they felt.

3.Is it normal to only to be friends with a girl to initiate a bf/gf relationship?

Not at sure if you mean normal and common then possibly but whay would you just pretend to be friends I guess the relationship is then a pretend on.


4.How to intiate conversation with girl That you already know(not personally) and Dont know?

I think you just need the confidence to start with.

5.How to talk to a girl when you have no mutal interests? E.g No girl is gonna want to talk about computers, BO2 or pron

Well you talk less and listen more and find some common ground or ask her if there is anything she would like to discuss

6.What age do you start getting "crushes"?

never

7.Everyone thinks Im depressed (never smile) and it maybe impacting on relationships.How to change this without smiling?

Can you?

8.What would you in a bf/gf relationship at my age?
I meaning like in films they would eat food at a restutant together, so at this age what would you do?
Not sure about that one

I will edit this post because I have a ton more questions i would like answered in the morning.

[Maiden]

I'm sorry, but this is BS. Relationships are not just about sex.


let me clear it upp, the section about it being a game has nothing to do with relationships it's about having sex with a specifik person.

and the relationship part i mean that people find liking for eachother during a party have sex and might repeat that a few times before they actually start doing other things and call themself a couple

[lolnoskill]

Thank you guys for time.I anwsers have spawned a few more questions sorry.

1.Relating to the smiling answers, when i do smile it looks really creepy, kinda like the joker and if I smile with my mouth closed it looks creepy aswell.Is there anyway to seem happy without smiling?

2.What if you absolutly nothing in common with girls? .My male friends manage to find something to talk about but Its clearly not about school related stuff every time.

3.Just walking up to a girl and saying "hi" or complementing her seems a bit weird? I mean I have been in the same class with some of these girls for 2 years and I have never said a word to them before, so it would be out of the ordinary.

[luq_]

I'm going to take a shot, but beware it varies a lot, mostly depending on social circle, e.g. I know two people who have completely different "normal"s (from two different places 20km apart, with different personalities, hanging out with different people). It's kind of long read, I apologize in advance.

1. It means you just... go out. Be it a walk, bar, even a party. It could be meeting someone for the first time live (e. g. you have a mutual friend who introduced you), you developed certain interests and want to see how it goes or just want to hang out. I see it mostly as "evaluation" - you want to see how someone else really is in person and try to figure out does that someone likes you (back).

2. I'll spare you the philosophical answer, and say it's when two people kiss. All of the above is absolutely correct, but I find this formulation easier to understand, even though it can't really be always applied.

3. Remember how I said I know two people with different "normal"s? They don't agree on this one. One is teasing a couple from school, because "they have known each other for barely 20 days before they became romantically evolved", while for the other one it's completely normal to become bf/gf (see no. 2) on first or second date. No rules.

4. If talking about FB and similar, I think "hey, do we know each other/I know you?" should be a good start. You risk insulting that person if you have met previously and you don't remember him/her, but in most cases it's fine. If you know each other, just haven't talked for a while "hey, how are you doing/how is it going/long time no see" should do fine.

5. Find 'em. Personally I hate questions that involve picking a favourite, or end with "recently". School is always a safe topic, but don't push it, just use it as a start to talk about other things (unless she likes school). You could also talk about hobbies ("what do you do in free time?"), friends, or events ("Are you going to/have you been to...?"), but if you're not sure, let her talk about herself and pick up what seems the most interesting. Usually people like to talk about themselves.

6. 12, 13, 14, 15, there isn't really an exact number

7. ugh, been there, I've no idea how I got out. Observe & learn from others, train yourself to notice the details. Be natural. Don't try, just be. Relax. Practice smiling/laughing? :D Nope, I have no idea how, sorry.

8. Again, in my experience, there are many differences. Walk, bars, parties, restaurants, later on going to each other's place. Ask friends about their relationships and try the same approach. Some people are uncomfortable with some places, so have a backup and be prepared to accept the alternative.

Additional:
1. See no 7

2. You have something in common with someone. There aren't two buckets with "guy interests" and "girl interests". See no 5.

3. "Hi" out of the sudden might appear weird, you're right. Complimenting, on the other side, not so much. Just don't go around handing out compliments and be prepared to be teased. That's more of a "brave" approach. Don't push it, or you'll end up annoying. Clothes seem to be the safest pick to compliment. After that, most certainly, minimum 1/2 of the people around will tease you. Be honest. On "You think that her shirt is pretty/beatiful (substitute with equivalent in your native language, mine has next to nothing in common with English so this may sound weird)?" answer with "Yeah", eventually adding "you don't?". On "You like her?", "I think she's good-looking" or "She seems like an interesting person". It doesn't mean you plan spending a whole life with her, even though it might cross your mind (if it does, don't show it). A smile, optionally with a curious look can be appropriate. If you get negative feedback, e. g. "You're too ugly", put up a sad face and peacefully reply with "Fine", or "We ugly can love as well", but don't fight it or run away and cry. Stay strong. If she seems uncomfortable, apologize to her in private and use that chance to ask her out. If she refuses, apologize again, and let her go. Pressure is on your side, her friends will either convince her to go out with you or laugh you off. She might go out with you out of pity, and then you have to prove her that you're not any worse than anyone else. Have in mind that if you meet outside of school, she probably won't be crazy about you and you must change that. Act normally, be interested and interesting. Either way, try not to take it too hard, since it might pop up in your future conversations.
See why is that a brave approach? Sorry about the length.


I'll repeat what I said at the beginning, this is how things are done at my place, at your age. Your situation might be the same, similar, or completely different. You should consider asking around and observing, just to see how other people do it.
Good luck!

[JamesSuperBoy]

Thank you guys for time.I anwsers have spawned a few more questions sorry.

1.Relating to the smiling answers, when i do smile it looks really creepy, kinda like the joker and if I smile with my mouth closed it looks creepy aswell.Is there anyway to seem happy without smiling?

2.What if you absolutly nothing in common with girls? .My male friends manage to find something to talk about but Its clearly not about school related stuff every time.

3.Just walking up to a girl and saying "hi" or complementing her seems a bit weird? I mean I have been in the same class with some of these girls for 2 years and I have never said a word to them before, so it would be out of the ordinary.

for 2 I good tip is listen I am sure girls will find something to talk about and open questions if you want a conversation and show interest then you can always ask.

3, well it might seem weird but again you just have to start somewhere and I dont think anyone will put you down for it.

maybe look on this as just some practice make it easier for you at another school or college.