BeginswithanE
February 25th, 2015, 12:54 AM
This is a rant I guess. I'm all sorts of rekt. This has been going on for almost 5 months . Up to then I had just graduated and was leaving to come here for college and BADOW, one fkn dare and I meet a Dood and it's like I d k w t f I am. I had 2 serious g f's in h s . Decent sex I think . I'm into school , sports, this shit just wasn't in the plans .
But theres this guy. Man, He's the fkn stars . We met on a dare type thing . We hit it off amd were going super cautious( since I had no clue) . He's still a jr in h s. and lives in the frakking bible , igno, belt . But he was a F of a lot more savvy than myself abt the "good stuff". Then like rt before txgiving he bails . Then he comes back . Then he bails again. Now he's back , or was like a week ago. But I haven't heard from him since . But this time I figured it's not gonna mess me up like before . So for the last 5 days I've been sorta ok. I hooked up with this chick who's been around me and stuff seemed copacetic again. He didn't occupy 85% of my thought processes at least . Then I d k wtf happened and now I just can't stop thinking abt him , again. I want him so fkn badly . I d g a f abt the labels and don't have enough experience to work them out for myself .
When we first met I decided to look up and read abt stuff( gay, bi, curious , whatever ). He claimed he was bicurious ( I was like Ye sure , wtf?) . It's what I do when I d k something . I research it . I nvr heard abt bicurious before then. I didn't care much either. These ideas just didn't happen to me or any other dude I knew. When we first met I also found another site that was supposed to help but all they seemed to care abt was one group of kids. They had mods like here and it was all completely bogus(doubt I'll last here long since I'm the "lay all your shit out up front "). Kids my age , and older types too, seem to disagree a lot with that approach (say: refer to my post heading!). I've got to let this out somewhere .
I want to take him to see imagine dragons in July , fuck, I'd take him anywhere . I just want to take him . He's so fkn intense and so frakking beautiful . It makes my blood boil and kind of hurts me inside at the same time . Sometimes I think maybe he really is just immature kid and stuff . He simply put up a super decent front . But then I remember and think abt the stuff we talked abt and did and its not possible .
Look, if this is against whatever rules for language or topic I'm pretty confident we'll all survive the infraction. It's not like i have a fuckton of outlets . I play sports for my school so it's not the most condusive environment for this subject matter to be discussed among the brews. I don't have anyone else to talk to abt this either . I'm not even sure I would . I'm seriously all sorts of F'd up and it sucks .
FML
But theres this guy. Man, He's the fkn stars . We met on a dare type thing . We hit it off amd were going super cautious( since I had no clue) . He's still a jr in h s. and lives in the frakking bible , igno, belt . But he was a F of a lot more savvy than myself abt the "good stuff". Then like rt before txgiving he bails . Then he comes back . Then he bails again. Now he's back , or was like a week ago. But I haven't heard from him since . But this time I figured it's not gonna mess me up like before . So for the last 5 days I've been sorta ok. I hooked up with this chick who's been around me and stuff seemed copacetic again. He didn't occupy 85% of my thought processes at least . Then I d k wtf happened and now I just can't stop thinking abt him , again. I want him so fkn badly . I d g a f abt the labels and don't have enough experience to work them out for myself .
When we first met I decided to look up and read abt stuff( gay, bi, curious , whatever ). He claimed he was bicurious ( I was like Ye sure , wtf?) . It's what I do when I d k something . I research it . I nvr heard abt bicurious before then. I didn't care much either. These ideas just didn't happen to me or any other dude I knew. When we first met I also found another site that was supposed to help but all they seemed to care abt was one group of kids. They had mods like here and it was all completely bogus(doubt I'll last here long since I'm the "lay all your shit out up front "). Kids my age , and older types too, seem to disagree a lot with that approach (say: refer to my post heading!). I've got to let this out somewhere .
I want to take him to see imagine dragons in July , fuck, I'd take him anywhere . I just want to take him . He's so fkn intense and so frakking beautiful . It makes my blood boil and kind of hurts me inside at the same time . Sometimes I think maybe he really is just immature kid and stuff . He simply put up a super decent front . But then I remember and think abt the stuff we talked abt and did and its not possible .
Look, if this is against whatever rules for language or topic I'm pretty confident we'll all survive the infraction. It's not like i have a fuckton of outlets . I play sports for my school so it's not the most condusive environment for this subject matter to be discussed among the brews. I don't have anyone else to talk to abt this either . I'm not even sure I would . I'm seriously all sorts of F'd up and it sucks .
FML