Thinking About Other Boys.

[Abbeys]

I’ve been seeing this boy for about three months now.He’s really nice and treats me like princess.I like him,I really do but when we are doing intimate stuff my mind wanders on to other boys at school,boys in bands,boys in the movies and stuff and sometimes I have to do it to get me going if you see what I mean.

I haven’t told him,I think he would be devastated!!

So a couple of questions.

1 Is this a form of cheating?

2 Does this mean the relationship is over and we should break up?

[MedusaX]

1. No
2. No

You can fantasize about ANYTHING while with him. It's common, don't worry about it. You can do it with him and think about doing it with someone more attractive at the same time. That doesn't mean you have to dump him because he's not attractive enough.

[sunnieseason]

I don't think it's a form of cheating to imagine someone else, but I think it's a sign that your bf might be missing something that you're looking for. If you really have feelings for him then you shouldn't break up because of your fantasies. If you feel like you could be more in danger of cheating or hooking up with another boy then i think you should break up. It's better to be honest and break up now than to cheat on him with another boy.

Also, you should consider that bad boys make terrible boyfriends. You may just be following your biological desire to trade up, but learn to control it. If you want to be happy in life then find a boy who treats you well and who you can share deep interests and passions with. Don't waste your time on bad boys or waist your time trading up to someone who is more attractive.

I think its important for us to realize that as girls our sexual value decreases with age. We don't have time to waste on bad boys. The secret of boys is that their sexual value increases with age and when they are in their 30's the good guys won't want to fall in love with a girl who wasted her youth chasing after bad boys. So you'll end up a lonely miserable cat lady.

P.S.
I love cats, but I don't want to be a cat lady

[canadienudist]

Now if you asked Ann Landers, she would say that it is a form of cheating and recommend you get counselling, lol. No its not a form of cheating and your relationship is not over.

[Abbeys]

Thanks Medusa and Sunnie for your brilliant comments.Maybe I should say it’s not that I don’t think he’s attractive enough,he’s really nice looking and some people have said to him,what’s he doing with an ugly ***** like me!! But that’s another story!!

I don’t have any experience of long term,( long term for me is anything over three months)so I don’t know how these things evolve.

It’s all new to me and this is a great place to get advice without being made to feel stupid.

Thanks again.

Oh and Mike,I can’t say thanks to you cos you shouldn't be posting on a girls only!!!!:D:D:D:D:D
But no seriously!!
I have listened to what you said.

Abbey

XXXX

[Beth]

I'm no professional in relationships by far but I can only give you my opinion. I do thinks that is very normal to have thoughts of other boys. Having thought is not cheating your mind wonders that's all. That doesn't mean that the relationship is over if both of you are happy. Something to think about. He may be having thoughts of his own, who know?

[Abbeys]

I'm no professional in relationships by far but I can only give you my opinion. I do thinks that is very normal to have thoughts of other boys. Having thought is not cheating your mind wonders that's all. That doesn't mean that the relationship is over if both of you are happy. Something to think about. He may be having thoughts of his own, who know?

WOW!!! Beth.

I've never thought of myself as conceited but you know it never occurred to me he might be thinking of someone else as well!!!!

That puts a whole new light on things.

Thanks for that.

Abbey

XXX

[Beth]

WOW!!! Beth.

I've never thought of myself as conceited but you know it never occurred to me he might be thinking of someone else as well!!!!

That puts a whole new light on things.

Thanks for that.

Abbey

XXX

I always happy to help. No professional but I can give my opinion.

[Isabella_]

I don't think it's a form of cheating to imagine someone else, but I think it's a sign that your bf might be missing something that you're looking for. If you really have feelings for him then you shouldn't break up because of your fantasies. If you feel like you could be more in danger of cheating or hooking up with another boy then i think you should break up. It's better to be honest and break up now than to cheat on him with another boy.

Also, you should consider that bad boys make terrible boyfriends. You may just be following your biological desire to trade up, but learn to control it. If you want to be happy in life then find a boy who treats you well and who you can share deep interests and passions with. Don't waste your time on bad boys or waist your time trading up to someone who is more attractive.

I think its important for us to realize that as girls our sexual value decreases with age. We don't have time to waste on bad boys. The secret of boys is that their sexual value increases with age and when they are in their 30's the good guys won't want to fall in love with a girl who wasted her youth chasing after bad boys. So you'll end up a lonely miserable cat lady.

P.S.
I love cats, but I don't want to be a cat lady

^ THIS

if you think of others he probably isn't the right one even if right on paper/in your head
It will show eventually, unless he's dumb as a post (then ditch) he'll notice

[Abbeys]

^ THIS

if you think of others he probably isn't the right one even if right on paper/in your head
It will show eventually, unless he's dumb as a post (then ditch) he'll notice


Your right of course but I'm just trying to figure do all relationships go this way sooner or later.

If you've been with somebody for years are you both thinking about someone else?

And if you are…………………..

Where does it end up?

[Emerald Dream]

Puberty For Girls :arrow: Relationships and Dating

You'll probably get more response over here. :)

[JamesSuperBoy]

No
But maybe you have other doubts about the relationship.

I think at teens we are still finding our how to be and that includes relationships and what we need so that fantasy is okay Could be when you are more used to things you stop fantasizing.

[Abbeys]

Puberty For Girls :arrow: Relationships and Dating

You'll probably get more response over here. :)


Thanks!!!

[Gumleaf]

I agree with what sunnieseason said basically, but I will make a suggestion. Part of an intimate relationship is learning what the other person likes to get them in the mood and to enjoy it and hopefully really enjoy it at the end if you get my subtleness. So perhaps giving him some pointers as to what gets you in the mood might help you with this. For example, when I was with my ex gf she liked being touched and kissed in certain places of her body to get in the mood and stuff. So perhaps trying that and seeing how that works for you might help with this?

[sunnieseason]

I agree with what sunnieseason said basically, but I will make a suggestion. Part of an intimate relationship is learning what the other person likes to get them in the mood and to enjoy it and hopefully really enjoy it at the end if you get my subtleness. So perhaps giving him some pointers as to what gets you in the mood might help you with this. For example, when I was with my ex gf she liked being touched and kissed in certain places of her body to get in the mood and stuff. So perhaps trying that and seeing how that works for you might help with this?


Excellent point! Communicate with him, be open!

[SethfromMI]

your relationship is not over. I guess it is technically not a form of cheating, but you may have to ask yourself if he is truly the right one for you if he cannot satisfy you in bed

[riverboy]

You sound bored. Maybe do or try something different.