Just me ( Read and Tell me what you think )

[dabomb]

Im 14 and i just want people to listen. My dad really abused my mother when i was real young but they divorced when i was 3 years old. She allowed him to see us for some holidays, every summer, and certain weekends. I love him because hes my dad.

The problem is that he is manipulative and he pisses me off so much. He lies alot and acts like a different person when he is around someone he doesnt know. i have 2 sisters and we all used to visit him every summer. My oldest sister got into a serious argument because of something, she doesnt visit him, ever anymore. I kind of hate her sometimes because she is so stubborn and she does not love her own father even though he is the way he is.

My other sister got into an argument a few years back and so she doesnt visit him either. She hates him basically but she loves him inside. Im the only one left.

I still visit him but lately, not so much. He got another divorce with his new wife ( shes nice and i really like her ) His 2nd wife has a daughter named quoneisha and she is cool. Also she has a son named Dominic so hes my half brother.

I know that in the future i wll get into an argument with him this summer. I know it will happend because im tired of listening to his lies and im becoming my own man now. Im going to tell him whats on my mind if he brings something up and for that reason i know this summer is guna suck.
His 2nd wife getin divorced cuz he abuses her like her did my mother .
She has excema and he made her hyper react to all the stress. Shes been in the hospital for a long time and i hate him so much for it.
Yet at the same time i want to see my step sister, and my half brother.
What should i do? or what do you think?

Double post
I forgot to add that these past few months ive been getting angry at everything. And i mean really really hatred mad. I dont want to be like him but i think that maybe, i will

[IfPiratesCouldFly]

Well, your dad is quite like mine. Manipulative, lying, different person around people he doesn't know. I think, it would be better to have lived with him for longer than till just 3, because at the age of three you'd whitnessed things and possibly molded in your mind and not knowing who you wanted to be a 3 could easily base yourself right off of him. I for one fail to understand how to love someone who is so horrible to you and your mother. I've learned to hate my father as both a man and my father, and I plan on disowning him. However, I believe the only way to assure to never be like someone is to hate them and I don't think too many (or anyone) would agree with me on that, but once you hate someone you obviously don't want to be them, and if you hate someone strongly enough your desire to be unlike them grows to the point where you devote yourself enough to never be like them.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

If you anticipate that seeing your father is going to add unnecessary stress to your life. I'd suggest making other arrangements. You say you want to see your half brother and step sister, but you need to understand that seeing them doesn't have to mean seeing your dad. Do they still live with him while their mom is in the hospital? If so, it may be difficult to see them without going through him, but would it be easy enough to set up a day to hang out with them, just the three of you guys at a park or at the movies or something? If it turns out that you have be around your dad in order to see them, you'll just have to make a choice: is it worth it to see them, or can you wait until the divorce goes through? Once he's not a part of their lives, the only person you'll have to talk to about it is your step mom and I'm sure she'd be cool with you hanging out with her kids. Whether or not you continue to see your father is up to you, but remember that you always have a choice. It sounds like he's created a very toxic environment and it's really affecting you. He may not be physically hurting you, but that doesn't mean he can't still do emotional damage.

IfPiratesCouldFly brings up a point about hating your father so you don't turn into him. Personally I think that, since you only saw him on a daily basis until you were 3, you've seen enough of the world to know what kind of person you want to be and to know that you don't want to be like your father. Don't think that seeing him will turn you into him, because you really are your own person and you get to make your own decisions.

Do what feels right for you. :)


Also: When you want to add something on to a post, just use the edit button at the bottom, don't make a seperate post. Thanks. :)

[Nihilus]

Wow. Your dad can make alot of people dislike him. he reminds me of my cousins exhusband:)

[IfPiratesCouldFly]

IfPiratesCouldFly brings up a point about hating your father so you don't turn into him. Personally I think that, since you only saw him on a daily basis until you were 3, you've seen enough of the world to know what kind of person you want to be and to know that you don't want to be like your father. Don't think that seeing him will turn you into him, because you really are your own person and you get to make your own decisions.

Do what feels right for you. :)


Also: When you want to add something on to a post, just use the edit button at the bottom, don't make a seperate post. Thanks. :)

My dad was abused by his dad until he was 7 where his parents divorced and he still turned out just like him, which is why I think three years is not enough to decide on who you are and who you'll be. I've dealt with my dad's abuse for 15 years and I still struggle with this and I hate him more than I could ever hate a living being....
P.S. Grats on moderator kaleidoscope :)

[dabomb]

wow thanks everyone ill take your advice

[Airrick]

If you have problem with him sit down and express the way you feel.

[Expectence]

Well, your dad is sort of like mine. Abusive and begins arguments.

Onto the advice.
Personally, I think you should decide what to do. It's your choice. But what I would do is still visit your step-sister and half-brother but do not visit your dad. If he fought with both of your sisters, he could possibly start an argument with you. Since he is also abusive, you shouldn't be scarred for life and see your father abusing women, would you?
So the best advice I could tell you to do is to either decide on your own, or to ignore your father but still visit your step-sister and half-brother. I mean, they're still sort of related to you.

Hope this helps. :)

[Scarface]

If you have problem with him sit down and express the way you feel.

This is an old thread, please be conscious of the post dates that are clear in the left hand corner of every post. This thread is 3 years old.