I just want to be held

[lijrobert]

Context: I'm a gay guy in a southern state

Today I was on a bus for 6 hours on a school trip. I was sitting next to my friend and we talked for a while, but eventually the conversation just died down as he began to listen to his music.

We were sitting behind a guy and a girl I knew were dating. They have been dating for a year and a half and they are very cute together.

However, the guy is very cute and ever since I came to high school Freshmen year, I've stared at him.

The whole time they were holding each other and quietly talking about whatever couples talk about. All I could think about was how she had him and how she could just rest in his warm embrace while all I could do was sit alone with my thoughts.

I started thinking about what the rest of high school was going to be like. I don't know If I can stand just staring at couples for the rest of high school. I don't think I'm ugly; I don't think I'm unlikable; This one thing just keeps me from getting to enjoy what pretty much every guy and girl at my school gets a chance to enjoy. That is, a relationship

I don't think I would be hated for revealing my sexuality to people at my school, but I would loose many friends. People say your friends aren't your friends if they don't stay with you through thick and thin, but these people aren't bad, they're just falsely educated by their parents. They don't shout homophobic slurs, they aren't racist, and they aren't crazy; they're just uneducated in one main way.

I don't know what to do anymore. I know I'm just a teenager and I have the rest of my life to meet others, but It just seems so close. Does anyone have experience with a similar situation? Does anyone have advice for me?

I mainly just needed to get this off my chest.

[JacobIN]

Oh don't worry I am in the same boat as you. The good news is, I am going to go too a private Christian collage where i will get free tuition. At first, I though there wouldn't be any gay peeps there, but as it turns out (I work at the dinning commons there currently) there are plenty. I probably wont have a BF until collage, and it'le suck until then, but If I am happy so be it.

If it helps I am a Junior in high school.

[Skitty]

Yeah, that just about describes me perfectly :3 I can't say I really have any advice for you, as nothing I've tried has really worked.

[James Dean]

Aww. Cheer up. Love will come for you, I know it. :)

[Zachary G]

Its tough right now, but it will get better for you. Take your time, be patient and love will come for you.

[Stronger]

I was in that same position all through high school, its more difficult when your a guy and gay because its not as easy to find people who are also. It just takes some patience and eventually you will find someone. Maybe you should look up if have any places that gay people go to? (No I don't mean a gay bar stuff like that, but where teens could go to be themselves you know?)

[DoodleSnap]

It is a hard time to go through, but you will make it. One day you will find someone who you feel happy and safe to share your love with. Maybe soon, or maybe in a few years, just try to stay strong. I hope you have a better day today.

[Landbuscus97]

It gets better. Yeah yeah, I know it sounds really generic, but not having a relationship now will only make being in a relationship that much better later. I know a few people that think they have to be in a relationship all the time, even if it means picking up a new boy/girl friend every other week or month. The reason I think they can't stay with just one person for a while other than it's not the right person, is that they feel dissatisfied with how their current relationship is doing, searching for something more that they can't identify, and end up rushing it or put too many expectations on their partner. Long story short: It's very OK to be single. In fact, I think that you should learn to be comfortable with yourself before you chase down a commitment. In the end, we're all alone at sometime, and having this period of just prioritizing YOU makes you more prepared for any surprises down the road. Time is just a road, but that doesn't mean you need to catch Destination Fever! Just know that there are going to be plenty of opportunities later in life! So be prepared to catch whoever life throws at you, whether it be sooner or later!

[Atom]

My advice, as always, probably, suits only me but here is what I suggest. Maybe you should come out of the closet as bi, not gay? So being out of the closet will make others aware of your preferences and maybe other gay guys will want to have a relationship with you. Also if you like someone and think that he potentially can be gay, try being friend with him first. Be the one who makes the first step.
The main thing I think everyone should understand is that being in the closet absolutely nullifies your chances for a relationship.
It's harsh I know, but it's a reality :(

http://i.imgur.com/Arjonht.png

[kanine]

I think my main problem is not coming out of the closet. But I feel you, I used to cuddle my freaking backpack subconsciously and wow that sounded kind of pathetic but it's true.

[Coolguy10890]

My advice, as always, probably, suits only me but here is what I suggest. Maybe you should come out of the closet as bi, not gay?

image (http://i.imgur.com/Arjonht.png)

I hate to disagree and I'm not trying to create any arguements, yes it sounds like a good idea sort of to come out as Bi, but then if you later decide to finally come out as gay, it makes people confused and that you can't make up your mind or something. Trust me, I came out to a couple of my closest friends as Bi, and then later on as Gay, and then it just confused them.

Do what you want as to coming out, I'm not stopping you and no one else is here. But that's what I suggest to, but as I said. YOU CHOOSE…

[Jackrabbit7]

High school sucks, you just have to get through it. There are so many people out there who are just as lonely, i used to be. You this as an opportunity to find yourself. Know who your are, what you want to do with your life. Learn to love your yourself, start a blog or journal. That's what I did and I feel better about my situation right now.

[WengMan3397]

That's really tough man. I'm in a pretty liberal northern state so stuff like what you describe is pretty rare. Hell, sometimes theres as man guys with guys or girls with girls as guys and girls with guys and girls lol Maybe go off to college some place not in the south and if you can figure out which friends you can really trust and come out slowly.