Paddington
February 14th, 2015, 08:46 PM
It seems like every time my pattern is changed in some way my mind just goes haywire and I just start panicking and contradicting myself and driving myself (and other people) crazy.
For example, I was planning on sitting on the couch tonight in my usual cushion next to my mother. That's where I usually sit when we're watching movies and stuff. It's nice and I'm comfortable with it.
But I go into the living room and my sister's taken my planned spot.
No no no no no that is not okay who does she think she is, I think, as I give her a death glare and turn around.
My mom notices and says, "(Real name withheld), there's more then one cushion on the couch, just sit-"
Nope. That's not the cushion that I wanted so I don't want to sit on the couch anymore. Door slam, deep sigh.
Thinking about it now the way that I acted towards something as silly as a couch cushion was really irrational. I've caught myself doing this a few times before, and I'm wondering, do I have some sort of underlying fear of losing control? Is there a disorder name for this? Should I ask my doctor about it?
For example, I was planning on sitting on the couch tonight in my usual cushion next to my mother. That's where I usually sit when we're watching movies and stuff. It's nice and I'm comfortable with it.
But I go into the living room and my sister's taken my planned spot.
No no no no no that is not okay who does she think she is, I think, as I give her a death glare and turn around.
My mom notices and says, "(Real name withheld), there's more then one cushion on the couch, just sit-"
Nope. That's not the cushion that I wanted so I don't want to sit on the couch anymore. Door slam, deep sigh.
Thinking about it now the way that I acted towards something as silly as a couch cushion was really irrational. I've caught myself doing this a few times before, and I'm wondering, do I have some sort of underlying fear of losing control? Is there a disorder name for this? Should I ask my doctor about it?