Lottie
February 10th, 2015, 05:46 AM
I just dont know what to do and I have nobody to turn to.
I cant organise all the shit in my head and I'm so confused. I just wish there was one person in my life who I could count on but I have noone and I know its all my fault but I just cant cope anymore.
I'm so tired of being strong and pretending that I dont care when on the inside I feel like Im screaming.
I know i should have tried harder earlier and made more of an effort to be good but I struggle, i get so angry. I didnt even want to come to live here and I dont really like it here but it still hurts so much that they are just getting rid of me like a peice of rubbish coz I fucked up too much. My mum would never do that to me and yet I cant be with her.
Ashton cares but Im probs gonna lose him coz I dunno where I will live, he is the only one round here I care about.
I know its stupid to think about the past but I cant help wishing that I still had my family together. Things were great when it was the 3 of us, mum was happy and Daniel was my best friend. It hurts so much to think about him but he is gone and its all my fault. Maybe i should have told the counsellor how i flet about it, but I was scared to talk to her.
Turning back to weed to numb it all, I know Linda will be mad I'm smoking in my room but I honestly dont care right now.
I have no idea what I can do, I want to die but dont at the same time. I think Im crazy now.
I cant organise all the shit in my head and I'm so confused. I just wish there was one person in my life who I could count on but I have noone and I know its all my fault but I just cant cope anymore.
I'm so tired of being strong and pretending that I dont care when on the inside I feel like Im screaming.
I know i should have tried harder earlier and made more of an effort to be good but I struggle, i get so angry. I didnt even want to come to live here and I dont really like it here but it still hurts so much that they are just getting rid of me like a peice of rubbish coz I fucked up too much. My mum would never do that to me and yet I cant be with her.
Ashton cares but Im probs gonna lose him coz I dunno where I will live, he is the only one round here I care about.
I know its stupid to think about the past but I cant help wishing that I still had my family together. Things were great when it was the 3 of us, mum was happy and Daniel was my best friend. It hurts so much to think about him but he is gone and its all my fault. Maybe i should have told the counsellor how i flet about it, but I was scared to talk to her.
Turning back to weed to numb it all, I know Linda will be mad I'm smoking in my room but I honestly dont care right now.
I have no idea what I can do, I want to die but dont at the same time. I think Im crazy now.