lumiadots
February 7th, 2015, 09:56 AM
Yes, I am a teenager, a sophomore, in high school. Yes, this is a cliche boy problem. Yes, every single fucking girl goes through shit like this and I'm probably going to forget about this in a couple years. But it hurts now so I really want some advice now.
I posted something similar to this a while back. I've been dating this guy for nine months now on February 15th. He has done a lot for me. He treats me right and gives me all his love and attention. I'm serious, I really caught a good guy on my hook. He's the type of guy that, if I gave him the chance, I could see a future with him. He really does love me and would do anything for me, as I would for him.
Then there's his ex. I was best friends with his ex since kindergarten. I know her. I've lived with her family for weeks at a time, she'd go out with my family all the time, I've been with her through nearly every friend and boyfriend and all that drama throughout elementary and middle school. She has always been a certified bitch, but she was my best friend. All the guys she screwed over and all the friends she'd back stabbed had nothing to do with me, so I didn't care.Then we started high school last year and we met my current boyfriend. He was instantly taken with her and they started dating. I pretty much had a crush on him from day one, and I became friends with him too. They were my only friends, so I was the third wheel. They dated for a couple months, and then she dumped him for pretty much no reason on New Years last year.
It was at this time where I fell hard for him. Almost all last year, she kept on treating him like shit. She would tell him lies and pull him back in, only to tell him he was an ugly useless piece of shit and kick him back out again. She even cheated on him with her ex boyfriend while they were dating. This went on pretty much all last year, and I was there for him through all of it. I never left his side. We finally started dating at the end of last year, in May, and we're still dating. I, of course, completely cut off contact with her once that happened. I had had enough of the drama and the heartache he was going through because of her.
I've given him a lot of chances with that girl. He told me he still loved her a few weeks after we were dating, and I cried myself to sleep but got over it. He drove over to see her in the summertime and didn't tell me about it until a few months later. That hurt like hell. And then, just yesterday, he went down to another classroom to play chess with her all study hall period. He didn't tell me about it.
I was so pissed off at him. For one thing, he knows how much I hate her and how much him being with her affects me negatively. Secondly, I just can't understand why he would WANT to be friends with her. He told me she just wanted to be friends and he told her explicitly that this was just friendship. I was the most important thing in his life and he refused to lose me. But he KNOWS the way she treated him in the past. How can you look in the eyes of the girl who treated you like scum on the bottom of her shoes and cheated on you and want to even be FRIENDS with her? I don't fucking understand. And when I called him about it, he actually put up a fight with me about it. He was saying how he has me now, so he's stronger now, and he loves me more than anything and wouldn't think about falling for her again.
So I told him that would he still have that strength if I was gone? I told him that I was sick of giving him chances with her. I was sick of getting hurt by her and letting her continuously poison our relationship. I asked him to cut her completely out of his life, or I was leaving him, because I love that guy to death but I respect myself enough to not stay in a relationship that hurts me that much. I told him this was his last chance. I have never heard him cry that badly. I heard him throw up outside of his truck. If that's not an indicator of how bad he felt, I don't know what is. He kept on promising me he would, that he wouldn't talk to her, that he couldn't stand the thought of losing me. We managed to get over tears and work through it calmly and he apologized profusely and promised to cut her out of his life.
Is it wrong that I really don't trust that he will? I was there through every step of their relationship last year and I remember everything he's ever told me about her and all the tears he cried over her. I know EXACTLY what would happen if they became friends again. She would try and pull him back in, get him to fall for her and leave me, or just put him in a world of turmoil and break his heart again. She is a cold-hearted bitch. I have known her for TEN YEARS. I KNOW her. I can't understand why he would even want to be involved with her.
Now, am I just overreacting? This boy has done a lot for me. He was my first for a lot of things and he treats me like a princess and says and does the sweetest thing for me. I know he loves me; that's obvious. Is it wrong of me to make him cut her out of his life or lose me? Should I trust him to be friends with her again? Or am I doing the right thing, because of me knowing how she acts and knowing exactly what she put him through last year? I don't know...I need advice on this. Please.
edit;; Look, I am not a controlling girlfriend. I don't pick and choose who he's friends with. He's friends with all of his past exes, hell, me and him goof off with one of them during spanish class. He has a LOT of female friends and there are a few dashes of jealousy here and there, but that's normal. I trust him with them. A few of them are pretty damn beautiful, and I trust him to joke and laugh with them and still come back to me with love in his eyes. I don't control him like that at all...I know how controlling I sounded in the post above. It's just...I don't trust him with HER. Now after all the shit we all went through last year. I don't trust him to just be friends with her and not fall for her. I truly don't think he'd ever leave me for her...but I am almost positive that he would fall for her again. I just really need some help.
I posted something similar to this a while back. I've been dating this guy for nine months now on February 15th. He has done a lot for me. He treats me right and gives me all his love and attention. I'm serious, I really caught a good guy on my hook. He's the type of guy that, if I gave him the chance, I could see a future with him. He really does love me and would do anything for me, as I would for him.
Then there's his ex. I was best friends with his ex since kindergarten. I know her. I've lived with her family for weeks at a time, she'd go out with my family all the time, I've been with her through nearly every friend and boyfriend and all that drama throughout elementary and middle school. She has always been a certified bitch, but she was my best friend. All the guys she screwed over and all the friends she'd back stabbed had nothing to do with me, so I didn't care.Then we started high school last year and we met my current boyfriend. He was instantly taken with her and they started dating. I pretty much had a crush on him from day one, and I became friends with him too. They were my only friends, so I was the third wheel. They dated for a couple months, and then she dumped him for pretty much no reason on New Years last year.
It was at this time where I fell hard for him. Almost all last year, she kept on treating him like shit. She would tell him lies and pull him back in, only to tell him he was an ugly useless piece of shit and kick him back out again. She even cheated on him with her ex boyfriend while they were dating. This went on pretty much all last year, and I was there for him through all of it. I never left his side. We finally started dating at the end of last year, in May, and we're still dating. I, of course, completely cut off contact with her once that happened. I had had enough of the drama and the heartache he was going through because of her.
I've given him a lot of chances with that girl. He told me he still loved her a few weeks after we were dating, and I cried myself to sleep but got over it. He drove over to see her in the summertime and didn't tell me about it until a few months later. That hurt like hell. And then, just yesterday, he went down to another classroom to play chess with her all study hall period. He didn't tell me about it.
I was so pissed off at him. For one thing, he knows how much I hate her and how much him being with her affects me negatively. Secondly, I just can't understand why he would WANT to be friends with her. He told me she just wanted to be friends and he told her explicitly that this was just friendship. I was the most important thing in his life and he refused to lose me. But he KNOWS the way she treated him in the past. How can you look in the eyes of the girl who treated you like scum on the bottom of her shoes and cheated on you and want to even be FRIENDS with her? I don't fucking understand. And when I called him about it, he actually put up a fight with me about it. He was saying how he has me now, so he's stronger now, and he loves me more than anything and wouldn't think about falling for her again.
So I told him that would he still have that strength if I was gone? I told him that I was sick of giving him chances with her. I was sick of getting hurt by her and letting her continuously poison our relationship. I asked him to cut her completely out of his life, or I was leaving him, because I love that guy to death but I respect myself enough to not stay in a relationship that hurts me that much. I told him this was his last chance. I have never heard him cry that badly. I heard him throw up outside of his truck. If that's not an indicator of how bad he felt, I don't know what is. He kept on promising me he would, that he wouldn't talk to her, that he couldn't stand the thought of losing me. We managed to get over tears and work through it calmly and he apologized profusely and promised to cut her out of his life.
Is it wrong that I really don't trust that he will? I was there through every step of their relationship last year and I remember everything he's ever told me about her and all the tears he cried over her. I know EXACTLY what would happen if they became friends again. She would try and pull him back in, get him to fall for her and leave me, or just put him in a world of turmoil and break his heart again. She is a cold-hearted bitch. I have known her for TEN YEARS. I KNOW her. I can't understand why he would even want to be involved with her.
Now, am I just overreacting? This boy has done a lot for me. He was my first for a lot of things and he treats me like a princess and says and does the sweetest thing for me. I know he loves me; that's obvious. Is it wrong of me to make him cut her out of his life or lose me? Should I trust him to be friends with her again? Or am I doing the right thing, because of me knowing how she acts and knowing exactly what she put him through last year? I don't know...I need advice on this. Please.
edit;; Look, I am not a controlling girlfriend. I don't pick and choose who he's friends with. He's friends with all of his past exes, hell, me and him goof off with one of them during spanish class. He has a LOT of female friends and there are a few dashes of jealousy here and there, but that's normal. I trust him with them. A few of them are pretty damn beautiful, and I trust him to joke and laugh with them and still come back to me with love in his eyes. I don't control him like that at all...I know how controlling I sounded in the post above. It's just...I don't trust him with HER. Now after all the shit we all went through last year. I don't trust him to just be friends with her and not fall for her. I truly don't think he'd ever leave me for her...but I am almost positive that he would fall for her again. I just really need some help.