Pope says it's OK to spank children if you don't demean them

[lucaboy]

On Wednesday the Pope said at a General audience:
"I once heard at a wedding a father say, 'I sometimes have to hit my children a little but never in the face, so as to not demean them.' How nice, I thought, he has a sense of dignity," the Pope said.
"When he punishes, he does it right and moves on."

Dad says those were wise words, and even in the Bible there are many passages which confirm it, like "He who loves his son chastises him often, that he may be his joy when he grows up", and generations of parents can´t be mistaken.
He says it´s wrong that many countries, including Germany, nowadays officially ban domestic spanking.

I love my dad, he is very loving and caring, but he is also really strict, and if I mess things up, or won´t listen to him and mom, I get my butt spanked. Somehow I think
it´s better than being grounded or losing privileges, because a spanking is over quickly and after I gotten my punishment and learned my lesson, life can go on. Dad says I have to take over the consequences for anything I do, like everyone, and this is the way how we deal with it.

What do you think about the Pope´s words and the Bible texts?
Are other boys here, being in the same boat like me?

[amgb]

I'm pretty sure there are other boys out there in the same boat as you Luca. I'm a girl, but this is a topic I'm gonna have a lot to say about. Firstly, I'm not religious and I don't plan on becoming religious at any point, but I do have my own beliefs and values which I hold very strongly. I disagree with the Pope's words, with my whole heart and whole being. I was disciplined and spanked as a child (which eventually progressively grew worse as I got older). I believe that is so wrong to hit your children, no matter what the reason is, how hard you hit and how often it's done. Discipline should never have to be physical or violent. I can be confident in saying that violence has never solved anything and most of the time it simply doesn't work. I was physically disciplined, did it work? No. In some cases kids do learn and kids do grow up 'okay', but in the long term they will most likely end up thinking that spanking is okay when it's not then they might do it to their own children because it was the way they were raised. Spanking is not only physically painful but it is also very emotionally painful and can cause emotional scars and a damaged parent-to-child relationship for the rest of their life. If kids do something wrong or inappropriate, they need to be told and they need to be placed in a position where they can feel like they are being guided in the right direction without needing to feel threatened and afraid. Putting them in fear can be a negative motivator which does work sometimes, but only causes damage to the kid and their relationship with the parents. And I am proof that many kids, not all kids but a lot of them who live in an aggressive and fearful environment can turn out to have mental health problems later on in life. Spanking is demeaning, it causes the child to lose their self esteem and confidence and respect to their parents. It is not okay in any form or for any cause. Teaching our kids a lesson should never involve any physical enforcement. We need to guide them with encouragement, warmth and praise and when they go down the wrong path we guide them back, we explain, we help them, we make them feel understood. That's how I see it should be done.

[Capto]

I'm from a culture where both domestic and school corporal punishment are socially the norm, so I don't really see a problem with this.

I guess our idiomatic culture of




are primarily susceptible for this.

(Note that I can't provide direct translations, as for these proverbs that proves to be rather challenging.)

Other language removed ~ Mike/ImCoolBeans

[Dalcourt]

Hitting a child, even if it's only a slight is never the answer to discipline and educate. I'm totally against it no matter what the pro spanking lobby says. It's wrong.

[phuckphace]

anyone ever read the Little House on the Prairie series? the one about Almanzo Wilder's childhood is the best one.

in one chapter there's a part where the classroom deliquents get rowdy and start harassing the new teacher. the teacher responds by pulling a huge bullwhip out of his desk and flogging them bloody :lol3: now that was hardcore.

[Sugaree]

Hitting a child, even if it's only a slight is never the answer to discipline and educate. I'm totally against it no matter what the pro spanking lobby says. It's wrong.

muh feelings
muh moral superiority

I'm not for corporal punishment being the immediate form of punishment on children who misbehave. If the child continues to misbehave and there is no other option, then corporal punishment is a necessity at that point. However, the punishment shouldn't be made into a festival of humiliation for the child. There's a reason why executions are no longer public affairs. For a child to learn consequences to their actions, discipline is necessary to reinforce good behavior and to keep their noses clean.

[phuckphace]

I should've mentioned in my last post, since it was the point, that if kids in the 1880s could survive into adulthood and turn out normally in spite of all the whistling bullwhips, our comparatively tame slaps on the wrist can't possibly be that traumatizing.

proper corporal punishment is very distinct from physical abuse and doesn't humiliate the child.

[Vlerchan]

... time outs worked just as well as spanking for (immediate) subsequent compliance on 30 tasks assigned by the mother. Long-term compliance is decreased after spanking.

... spanking tends to increase child aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time”.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids

---

Related to OP. (http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/02/06/pope-to-show-catholics-how-to-smack-their-children-properly/)

[cbm89031]

I get spanked by my parents also which sucks. They spank me Bare butt, over the knee, with the paddle sometimes with the belt. Yes I do cry when I get spanked

[randyboy]

I think the pope is right too keeps me in line its no big deal I get the feeling that's it's those that don't or have never been spanked seem to comment the most.

Spanking kids is fine and ok, its' not abuse, it has to be done fairly, and with love! I love and respect my Dad, he's the boss and thats that!

[lucaboy]

Mom also tried other things like time out, but I didn't take her seriously I fear. Then she told it to dad and he made clear that I got the message. Getting my butt bared for the wooden spoon sucks, of course. But hey, as you say, Ian, it´s no big deal. It keeps me from going off the rails, and I accept that dad is the boss and knows best.

[randyboy]

Exactly and the sting does eventualy fade hehe

[lucaboy]

Quicker than being grounded for days or weeks :p

[SethfromMI]

I was spanked up until 6 or so. I still got punished after that but honestly, by the time I was 6 I learned quickly to listen to my parents. I wasn't even spanked very often and usually when I was, it was because I kept doing the wrong thing over and over.

obviously one has to be careful when they do it, but to be honest, getting spanked helped teach me right or wrong and I really do not have a problem with it

[lucaboy]

... so you always listened to your parents since you are 6? wow!
After all I´m still a boy and I just can´t manage how to always abiding by the rules. Even when I don´t want to, sometimes I just cannot help than to break curfew, talking back disrespectfully or being just lazy at school or doing something stupid. A spanking doesn´t kill me, nor does it cause irreparable damages or mental injuries to me, as stated by some people. My only "damage" is a red and sore bum for a while. Dad never spanks me out of rage. We have a talk about my wrongdoing before the spanking, and afterwards I get a big hug, dad says how much he loves me, and I say again that I´m sorry and everything is forgiven and forgotten. That´s what I like most: of course I have to take over the consequences for what I did, and they are no fun at all, but finally it´s over quickly. No bad conscience anymore and life can go on :)

[SethfromMI]

... so you always listened to your parents since you are 6? wow!
After all I´m still a boy and I just can´t manage how to always abiding by the rules. Even when I don´t want to, sometimes I just cannot help than to break curfew, talking back disrespectfully or being just lazy at school or doing something stupid. A spanking doesn´t kill me, nor does it cause irreparable damages or mental injuries to me, as stated by some people. My only "damage" is a red and sore bum for a while. Dad never spanks me out of rage. We have a talk about my wrongdoing before the spanking, and afterwards I get a big hug, dad says how much he loves me, and I say again that I´m sorry and everything is forgiven and forgotten. That´s what I like most: of course I have to take over the consequences for what I did, and they are no fun at all, but finally it´s over quickly. No bad conscience anymore and life can go on :)

lol no I have been grounded and stuff, but dad felt after a certain age spanking was no longer appropriate. though I do not get into much trouble. see my parents give me a tremendous amount of freedom because they know I can be trusted with it

[fairmaiden]

I don't think that physical punishment is acceptable, at all. I've never been spanked by my parents, however at the school that I used to go to, there were countless incidents where children had been hit and shoved around violently by our headteacher. That happened about 8 years before I went there, however when I joined, the same headteacher was and still is there. She is incredibly threatening, nasty, and gets kicks out of hurting and belittling vulnerable children, physically and emotionally. She always uses the word ''punishment'' as to justify her violence. I've been abused by her, and so have plenty of others. I'm still slightly affected by all of the things that she has done. She makes me sick and I'm really upset that she's still allowed to teach.

The point is; I do not agree with the idea of someone hurting a child or a teenager as ''punishment''. If the child has done something wrong, it's fine to tell them off and ground them, but I will never agree with hurting someone, no matter how ''quick'' it is.

[Karkat]

I think people can be too quick to spank, or that for some, "spank" means "beat black and blue", but honestly, people are waaaaaaaaay too lax about disciplining their children.

Frankly, kids these days are rude and walk all over their parents.

I come from a culture where a lot of people do get beaten to a pulp by their parents- my mom, my grandma, my great-grandpa. That's not ok. But some parents try to discipline in loving ways and only resort to spankings/etc. when the child is out of control. (Becoming a danger to themselves or others, or starting to become disrespectful.)

I see no problem with that. I don't know that I'd ever spank my kids, but I'd damn well make sure that they don't act like fucking twats either. A lot of people are fucking twats. This world doesn't need more. And frankly, if you think it's ok to raise your kid to be a fucking twat, don't have kids! Simple as that.

People just get so pushed over by liberal agenda sometimes and they become pansies. :rolleyes: Treat your children with love and respect, and raise them to treat others with love and respect, and you won't have to worry about beating the shit out of them. ffs

[That's the Spirit]

I agree parents needs to be tougher on their kids, along with schools. Teachers get fired over the smallest things these days because of politically correct, liberal activists.

[Karkat]

I agree parents needs to be tougher on their kids, along with schools. Teachers get fired over the smallest things these days because of politically correct, liberal activists.

I don't think teachers should have the right to have a say in how a child is raised. That's the parents' job. Teachers are not legal guardians, they teach and make sure children can learn in a safe environment and can grow up in one.

That's the extent of it. Just like a police deputy doesn't parent someone else's kids, their job is to protect them and make sure they aren't hurting anyone else or being hurt.

Trusted authority figures =/= parents. It may take a village to raise a child, but the judicial system usually does not give custody to anyone but the parents.

[fairmaiden]

I don't think teachers should have the right to have a say in how a child is raised. That's the parents' job. Teachers are not legal guardians, they teach and make sure children can learn in a safe environment and can grow up in one.

That's the extent of it. Just like a police deputy doesn't parent someone else's kids, their job is to protect them and make sure they aren't hurting anyone else or being hurt.

Trusted authority figures =/= parents. It may take a village to raise a child, but the judicial system usually does not give custody to anyone but the parents.
agreed.

[fds1997]

I was spanked as a child and I'm thankful for it my parents never did more than three swats across the butt. It hurt yes but it kept me from disobeying my parents.

[Meh Guy]

Well I don't really see anything wrong with spanking as long as you're not overly physical. I got spanked as a kid and it didn't fuck my mind up or make me resent my parents or anything like the people who say its a form of abuse say happen.

[cami]

I got my last spank like 4 years ago I think. I think it's okay, as long as you don't make your child bleed for example or do some serious damage.

[Stronk Serb]

I'd rather be physically punished than grounded. When grounded I tend to give zero fucks about it and just break it xD
That'd my opinion on myself. Personally, I'd resort to spanking as a last resort if I was a parent.

[davidsp]

On Wednesday the Pope said at a General audience:
"I once heard at a wedding a father say, 'I sometimes have to hit my children a little but never in the face, so as to not demean them.' How nice, I thought, he has a sense of dignity," the Pope said.
"When he punishes, he does it right and moves on."

Dad says those were wise words, and even in the Bible there are many passages which confirm it, like "He who loves his son chastises him often, that he may be his joy when he grows up", and generations of parents can´t be mistaken.
He says it´s wrong that many countries, including Germany, nowadays officially ban domestic spanking.

I love my dad, he is very loving and caring, but he is also really strict, and if I mess things up, or won´t listen to him and mom, I get my butt spanked. Somehow I think
it´s better than being grounded or losing privileges, because a spanking is over quickly and after I gotten my punishment and learned my lesson, life can go on. Dad says I have to take over the consequences for anything I do, like everyone, and this is the way how we deal with it.

What do you think about the Pope´s words and the Bible texts?
Are other boys here, being in the same boat like me?

We are not Catholic but my parents would agree with the Pope. I might agree too in a certain way. I'm in the same boat as you Luca and I agree with most of what you said. It is good that it is over with quick and my parents are fair about it and don't demean us or go nuts on our butts but they sure know how to make it hurt so you don't want to have one again anytime soon.

[Leprous]

I agree parents needs to be tougher on their kids, along with schools. Teachers get fired over the smallest things these days because of politically correct, liberal activists.

Think you may be overextending the teachers get fired thing a little. Here theu cannot get fired unless there's a huge mistake. Not all parents are bad at raising their kids you know.

[Unknwn]

Anyone who is hispanic probably knows "la chancla" or "el cinto" :P
For anyone not familiar, "la chancla" means "the slipper" and "el cinto" means "the belt". Basically, these phrases have become kind of a little joke in the hispanic culture lol The joke is that hispanic parents are supposedly notorious for using slippers and belts to discipline their kids.
Although it is kind of a joke, sometimes it really does happen lol Growing up with hispanic parents, I did in fact experience "la chancla" and "el cinto" when I was little and let me tell you, if I had to choose between a smack/spank or "el cinto", I would go with the smack/spank in a heartbeat xD
Sure it seems cruel, but I can honestly say that I never did whatever got me in trouble ever again lol
I don't know about other cultures, but I think the hispanic culture doesn't really shy away from such forms of discipline, but it also doesn't cross the line to the point of being abuse, I don't think. Like I said, these phrases have become sort of a joke with us hispanic kids. If it was something very serious, I don't think it would be a joke.
My thoughts on using this type of punishment? Sure it hurts and the area where you got hit may bruise, but I don't think the intent of using a slipper or a belt or a simple smack or spank is to severely harm the child. I think it's okay as long as it doesn't clearly cross the line into being abuse. Back to the "chancla" and "cinto" joke, I never bled or had to go to the hospital or anything like that, nor do any other kids who also experienced it. Just like the smack or spank, it's a quick way to get the message across to the kid that they did something wrong. As long as it doesn't clearly become abuse, it eventually becomes something to joke about and the kid learns not to do something they are not suppose to do.

Just as a little sidenote, here is a quick funny video of "la chancla" :P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMij9AKLvog

[dirtyboxer55]

who cares