DKboy
February 2nd, 2015, 06:29 PM
Well, hello guys.. I wanna start of by telling a bit about myself.
My name is Nicolaj, i'm 17 and i live in Denmark. I'm currently studying international economy, at the economy school that lies in town. In my free time I enjoy hanging out with my friends and i also spend alot of time in a nearby fitness center.
Okay, so I just broke up with my girlfriend. She had been cheating on me before, but because I could see she was really regretful, and because it kinda also was my own fault, I forgave her. Now, we have been together for a little over 17 months, and she did it again (not with the same guy), I thought to myself that I had to breakup with her. I'm so hurt by that because I still love her alot, and I know that she also loves me. I'm so mad at myself for doing it because I have the feeling we could still be together and that i would have lived with it. She didn't have sex with this guy, they just kissed (I know it's still cheating, but, that gives me a bit of relief). I hate myself for having the thought, but I have thought about taking my own life. I know, I know, that want help, and i should never do that because of another person, but I just can't live without her, or live with the feeling that she'll get over me and be happy with somebody else someday... We have all these great memories and stories, and we had all these great plans for the future. We should have to kids, a boy and a girl - Andrew and Stephanie. We wanted to move to the US sometime where she would get her own animal resort and I would find something economy related work.
When we found together, we went to the same school. We had known each other for about a year before we found together. We finished school, and would start on our education. We both wanted to become zookeepers, so we signed op for a school, and we both got in. I kinda also wanted something different, because we would have to live at that school and it would be far away from my friends + the opportunities to get work with that edducation would be really hard, so I signed up for the economy school. We lived together at the zookeeper school for one and a half week, before I got in to the other school, and i transfered immediately. It was hard for us to not see each other every day, but we made it work and we were both happy. I could've told myself that something would go wrong. I focused so much on my new school to keep up with the homework and stuff like that, that I didn't give my girl so much attention. She called me everyday and wanted to skype with me all the time, but alot of the times i rejected because I had to focus on my homework or i wanted to sleep so i could be rested for the next day. We only saw each other in the weekendes, when we were at hers or mine place. On weekend, she were kinda, shy, i guess is the word. She didn't look happy and she kinda hang with the head. I had the thought about asking her if she had been with another guy, but i didn't want to accuse her of anything. Sunday night when she got back to the school, she wrote to me that she had been with another guy and that she wanted a break. I loved her, and was so heartbroken, so ofc I didn't break up because i wanted to figure this out between us. She kept seeing this guy, and it ended up with her wanting to be with him instead of me. I stopped texting her for a while, and one day, one of my best buddies told me that she had been texting him. She had texted him that she was so regretful of what she had done because she only loved one person, and that there only where one for her (me, obviously). but she didn't know how to get me back. We arranged a day to meet, and she told me everything. How sorry she were and all that, so i forgave her (because I'm that type of guys that sees the good in everyone and that everyone can make mistakes). Okay, so all were fine. We loved each other, had fun and great trips, watched movies, all that stuff you do in a relationship :) Tha last month or two, alot of my friends turned 18, so i were invited to alot of parties, wich made it so we didn't see each other as often. I told her that i could hang out the days were i didn't go to the parties, so we could see eachother. One of the weekends, she were invited to one of her friends party (also an 18 y party), and she spend the whole weekend at her place. I just wanna quickly say that my girl had been calling me alot of the evenings before, because she just wanted to talk to me, and her my voice. I got a bit annoyed and said she could just call me once or twice, insted of 9-10 times, because i probably was doing something atm, and that I would call her back when I got my phone.. After this girls party, i called her saturday night. She picked up and said she would call the day after, because she was sleeping (I, ofc, thought is was all fine). Next day, she didn't call me. I texted her, because It really didn't look lie her to not keep her promise. She said she had forgotten, and she was busy so she's call later. She didn't call back, so i wrote to her again. Her texts didn't really make sence to me. They didn't contain as much "love" as they used to, so I asked if anything was wrong?. She replied that she was just "thinking". I texted her, asking her what she was thinking, If it was anything negative and that I would always be there for her. She replied that it was negative, but nothin else, so I just asked " did you do it again?" She didn't reply, and i wrote to her, I'd take that as a yes. There were some back and forth texting before I got her to tell me that she had been with her friends, big brothers, friend. I immediately bursted into tears, but thought to myself "i gave her one chance - now it's over!". She said that she had wanted to break up with me for some time, and i thought to myself. That can't be true? No one would ever call so many times, just to her someones voice, if they didn't care. She tould me that she didn't regret it, and that she didn't have feelings for me. Again, i thought, how's that? she showed so much love the week before, and now she feels, nothing? I had the feeling, and knew, that she still loved me. She just didn't want to say it, i guess? I broke up with her, and at the beginning i thought "hey, i can do this! this is easier as last time!" i thought wrong. It got me harder and harder. I broke into tears at my work, in school - well, everywhere. I couldn't take it, and i still can't. I really regret that I broke up, because I think we could still be together. We had plans in the weekend, so i keep thinking to myself, that i could've talked to her and made it good again. To me, she is perfect. She has her faults, but I see them as perfect. Her smile, hair, eyes - everything! and ofc her personality! I just can't live without her. I can't live with the thought that she'll maybe be happy with somebody else. I can't live with the thought that she says she doesn't care, but I know she deeply inside is dying aswell, and i can't do anything, because she doesn't want to show it.
If you have read all this, I thank you. I just want to get some advice. Someone to talk to. I'd mostly want girls, since they kinda get this in another way, and understands it differently, if you know what I mean? But ofc, guys, if you have anything? Have you tried something like this aswell? What did you do? If you want it to be more personally, I have skype available.
I really hope you guys have anything to say.
My name is Nicolaj, i'm 17 and i live in Denmark. I'm currently studying international economy, at the economy school that lies in town. In my free time I enjoy hanging out with my friends and i also spend alot of time in a nearby fitness center.
Okay, so I just broke up with my girlfriend. She had been cheating on me before, but because I could see she was really regretful, and because it kinda also was my own fault, I forgave her. Now, we have been together for a little over 17 months, and she did it again (not with the same guy), I thought to myself that I had to breakup with her. I'm so hurt by that because I still love her alot, and I know that she also loves me. I'm so mad at myself for doing it because I have the feeling we could still be together and that i would have lived with it. She didn't have sex with this guy, they just kissed (I know it's still cheating, but, that gives me a bit of relief). I hate myself for having the thought, but I have thought about taking my own life. I know, I know, that want help, and i should never do that because of another person, but I just can't live without her, or live with the feeling that she'll get over me and be happy with somebody else someday... We have all these great memories and stories, and we had all these great plans for the future. We should have to kids, a boy and a girl - Andrew and Stephanie. We wanted to move to the US sometime where she would get her own animal resort and I would find something economy related work.
When we found together, we went to the same school. We had known each other for about a year before we found together. We finished school, and would start on our education. We both wanted to become zookeepers, so we signed op for a school, and we both got in. I kinda also wanted something different, because we would have to live at that school and it would be far away from my friends + the opportunities to get work with that edducation would be really hard, so I signed up for the economy school. We lived together at the zookeeper school for one and a half week, before I got in to the other school, and i transfered immediately. It was hard for us to not see each other every day, but we made it work and we were both happy. I could've told myself that something would go wrong. I focused so much on my new school to keep up with the homework and stuff like that, that I didn't give my girl so much attention. She called me everyday and wanted to skype with me all the time, but alot of the times i rejected because I had to focus on my homework or i wanted to sleep so i could be rested for the next day. We only saw each other in the weekendes, when we were at hers or mine place. On weekend, she were kinda, shy, i guess is the word. She didn't look happy and she kinda hang with the head. I had the thought about asking her if she had been with another guy, but i didn't want to accuse her of anything. Sunday night when she got back to the school, she wrote to me that she had been with another guy and that she wanted a break. I loved her, and was so heartbroken, so ofc I didn't break up because i wanted to figure this out between us. She kept seeing this guy, and it ended up with her wanting to be with him instead of me. I stopped texting her for a while, and one day, one of my best buddies told me that she had been texting him. She had texted him that she was so regretful of what she had done because she only loved one person, and that there only where one for her (me, obviously). but she didn't know how to get me back. We arranged a day to meet, and she told me everything. How sorry she were and all that, so i forgave her (because I'm that type of guys that sees the good in everyone and that everyone can make mistakes). Okay, so all were fine. We loved each other, had fun and great trips, watched movies, all that stuff you do in a relationship :) Tha last month or two, alot of my friends turned 18, so i were invited to alot of parties, wich made it so we didn't see each other as often. I told her that i could hang out the days were i didn't go to the parties, so we could see eachother. One of the weekends, she were invited to one of her friends party (also an 18 y party), and she spend the whole weekend at her place. I just wanna quickly say that my girl had been calling me alot of the evenings before, because she just wanted to talk to me, and her my voice. I got a bit annoyed and said she could just call me once or twice, insted of 9-10 times, because i probably was doing something atm, and that I would call her back when I got my phone.. After this girls party, i called her saturday night. She picked up and said she would call the day after, because she was sleeping (I, ofc, thought is was all fine). Next day, she didn't call me. I texted her, because It really didn't look lie her to not keep her promise. She said she had forgotten, and she was busy so she's call later. She didn't call back, so i wrote to her again. Her texts didn't really make sence to me. They didn't contain as much "love" as they used to, so I asked if anything was wrong?. She replied that she was just "thinking". I texted her, asking her what she was thinking, If it was anything negative and that I would always be there for her. She replied that it was negative, but nothin else, so I just asked " did you do it again?" She didn't reply, and i wrote to her, I'd take that as a yes. There were some back and forth texting before I got her to tell me that she had been with her friends, big brothers, friend. I immediately bursted into tears, but thought to myself "i gave her one chance - now it's over!". She said that she had wanted to break up with me for some time, and i thought to myself. That can't be true? No one would ever call so many times, just to her someones voice, if they didn't care. She tould me that she didn't regret it, and that she didn't have feelings for me. Again, i thought, how's that? she showed so much love the week before, and now she feels, nothing? I had the feeling, and knew, that she still loved me. She just didn't want to say it, i guess? I broke up with her, and at the beginning i thought "hey, i can do this! this is easier as last time!" i thought wrong. It got me harder and harder. I broke into tears at my work, in school - well, everywhere. I couldn't take it, and i still can't. I really regret that I broke up, because I think we could still be together. We had plans in the weekend, so i keep thinking to myself, that i could've talked to her and made it good again. To me, she is perfect. She has her faults, but I see them as perfect. Her smile, hair, eyes - everything! and ofc her personality! I just can't live without her. I can't live with the thought that she'll maybe be happy with somebody else. I can't live with the thought that she says she doesn't care, but I know she deeply inside is dying aswell, and i can't do anything, because she doesn't want to show it.
If you have read all this, I thank you. I just want to get some advice. Someone to talk to. I'd mostly want girls, since they kinda get this in another way, and understands it differently, if you know what I mean? But ofc, guys, if you have anything? Have you tried something like this aswell? What did you do? If you want it to be more personally, I have skype available.
I really hope you guys have anything to say.