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Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 02:43 AM
I can't believe I'm doing. Goddess help me.
I have multiple personalities, there I said it. I always have. The one most of you see on here as me is my self which bears my name, Christopher, but the other sides are complicated. I have a weird way of coping with my reality and ways. I have a dark alternative self and a feminine self. The dark side comes out a lot, he's Drake... He cares about nothing, hates everyone, is bigoted to everything, and wants to stay sad, he believes in no happiness, and cones out when we are scared, shy, lost, alone.

The second is me, Missy but I have no name. I'm the first of me and feminine. I am shy but more random and less constrained. I am the one typing all of this. I'm more open but also am more aware of things. I existed at the beginning but from lack of love I spawned Christopher... The one you all know here as Lovelife090994

I know this makes me sound crazy and you'll all want to unfriendly criticise me or chastise me but know that after twenty years of inner-conflict I, Missy am speaking up for the person who could not. I am the same "me" but our psyche is split in three. Love and acceptance are all we wish so maybe that will unite me as whole. Missy was a girl trapped in a boy's body and Christopher was the confusion and shyness, Drake is how we cope with depression and anger, and back to me, I am very pubic but just like Christopher.

I realize now this is proof I need help... But unlike on other sites if I say this to those I know then I will surely lose it all. I can't bear more pain of loss on massive scale... A part of me ready feels dead inside, please don't make it hurt worse.

It's bad enough being broken, it's worse trying to get people to understand those three shards are all you.

Hudor
February 2nd, 2015, 09:51 AM
That's okay. I can relate kind of. You aren't losing me at least for that. I'm sorry I can't help you in any other way.

Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 01:33 PM
That's okay. I can relate kind of. You aren't losing me at least for that. I'm sorry I can't help you in any other way.

Thank you for being supportive.

Karkat
February 2nd, 2015, 03:02 PM
Honestly, between my mom having MPD, and me having manic episodes and dissociative episodes, altered/split personalities are nothing new to me. They do not frighten me, I worry more for your sake than anything else because I know you have a hard time coping.

I don't really have a lot of advice, just know that I care, and I'll try to keep this in mind if you post something that sounds off- I feel that's the reason we butt heads.

Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 03:08 PM
Honestly, between my mom having MPD, and me having manic episodes and dissociative episodes, altered/split personalities are nothing new to me. They do not frighten me, I worry more for your sake than anything else because I know you have a hard time coping.

I don't really have a lot of advice, just know that I care, and I'll try to keep this in mind if you post something that sounds off- I feel that's the reason we butt heads.

When we butted heads, you were not talking to me, that was Drake... He came out to protect me and Missy from our darkness and sadness, but in his creation he is dark and heartless, a literal sociopath or tries to be. The split personalities fro years was Me and Missy and now it is at three... but we have weaknesses and neither of us can cope well. Sorry. This is weird I know. But it is how it is.

Karkat
February 2nd, 2015, 03:11 PM
When we butted heads, you were not talking to me, that was Drake... He came out to protect me and Missy from our darkness and sadness, but in his creation he is dark and heartless, a literal sociopath or tries to be. The split personalities fro years was Me and Missy and now it is at three... but we have weaknesses and neither of us can cope well. Sorry. This is weird I know. But it is how it is.

No, it's ok, I understand a bit.

Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 03:41 PM
No, it's ok, I understand a bit.

My other parts tend to come out when I'm under stress.

SethfromMI
February 2nd, 2015, 04:25 PM
It's not your fault. I support you for having the courage to come out and admit it

Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 07:34 PM
It's not your fault. I support you for having the courage to come out and admit it

It's not?

Karkat
February 2nd, 2015, 07:44 PM
My other parts tend to come out when I'm under stress.

Yeeeeeeah, I can relate to that as well. My major defense mechanism is usually to become an egotistic, arrogant, pedantic shithead when I'm annoyed or angry.

Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 08:34 PM
Yeeeeeeah, I can relate to that as well. My major defense mechanism is usually to become an egotistic, arrogant, pedantic shithead when I'm annoyed or angry.

I become a sad, angry, loner who hates everything.

Karkat
February 2nd, 2015, 10:38 PM
I become a sad, angry, loner who hates everything.

That I can relate to as well :/

Lovelife090994
February 2nd, 2015, 10:46 PM
That I can relate to as well :/

But it's more to protect myself from hurt and pain.

Karkat
February 3rd, 2015, 12:29 AM
But it's more to protect myself from hurt and pain.

Understandable.

Lovelife090994
February 3rd, 2015, 01:54 AM
Understandable.

You're so understanding. Thank you dear. - Missy 💝

Karkat
February 3rd, 2015, 06:30 AM
You're so understanding. Thank you dear. - Missy 💝

You're absolutely welcome, hun :)

SethfromMI
February 3rd, 2015, 12:37 PM
It's not?

for having split personalities? that is usually a biological imbalance, unless you're saying you are in perfect control of how you act and you just choose to act in bad ways

Lovelife090994
February 11th, 2015, 06:49 PM
Thanks