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Odell
February 1st, 2015, 03:14 PM
Hello, I just registered because of a problem and I really need help
First, sorry if my English isn't so great

There's this girl from my class. She is very beautiful, smart, funny and everything.She had tough life, with a father who cheated on her mother and was prisoned many times
Year ago, we were liking each other and spending time together in group until I finally invited her for a coffee.First two coffes hadn't been great, on the third I told her that I wanted to be with her. She didn't declined, she'd told me she needed more time and we agreed to start slowly.She was never in a relationship and says she could only be with someone who is her bestfriend
On the next date we talked about everything and what will we do in few days, weeks, even months. We were planning relationship and I thought like 'this is it'. I didn't want to be boring so I let the thing go and wait to see if she will call or message me first. Anyway, she didn't feel the same and didn't know how to tell me without hurting me that she can only offer me friendship, leaving me heart-broken

We spent a year with just few words spoken, avoiding each other in class
A week ago, she told our mutual friend that she likes me still, that I'm great guy and that she ended everything just because I was going too fast
Day later, our class was all drunk in coffe bar and she asked me for a dance.We are dancing in front of many people drunk in 10 a.m after which she asked me to promise her to fix our 'relationship' (not love relationship, just relationship). I was very happy because I have gotten a new chance.
Two days ago, we were in the same disco, both drunk and we danced for almost the whole night.We talked about us, about starting again.She was telling me how great guy I am, and that she wants to fix things.She feels bad when we are avoding each other. She asked me to give her time, to take it slowly and 'if it happens, it happens'
She was assuring me that those words she said drunk are true and would say it anytime
I didn't want to kiss her because I always wanted our first kiss without alcohol
The night was really great and I felt like this time we will suceed, but when I woke up, sober, I wasn't as thrilled as night before and I am not too sure this will work out well
We chated yesterday, today we did not as I don't want to force things
We arranged meeting in coffee bar after the school these days

Now, this girl is great but she isn't flawless.I love her, but I've always felt that she is too cold, disassociated and she 'doesn't give herself' and 'doesn't let me in' (in my language, we have better terms, hope you understand)
I am afraid that I might f up something again, that she will change her mind again. Last time, I was heart broken and devastated, I don't want to get through that again

So, what should I do? How should I take this situation?

Dan1234
February 1st, 2015, 03:49 PM
I'd approach the situation with caution. Don't force it, she can't expect for you two to be as close as you were before straight away, especially after going months without talking to eachother. Don't get your hopes up either, the chances are the outcome will be the same as last time, so go about the situation in such a way that gives you minimal heartbreak if it doesn't end well. If they're any similarities to what happened last time, get out of there before you get too attached. But yeah, I hope it goes well mate and that the outcome is better

JamesSuperBoy
February 1st, 2015, 03:51 PM
It might be better to talk when you are both sober.

Odell
February 1st, 2015, 06:33 PM
Well, when we were drunk and talked, words we exchanged made me feel the happiest man alive
It is when I woke up, drowsy and everything that i started to have doubts and be afraid

I would like some girl's advice, especially if some girl here doesn't have healthy relationship with her father and has trust issues (or guys who dated that 'kind' of girls)

Meh Guy
February 2nd, 2015, 02:03 PM
The fact that you seem to think she is too cold may be just shyness. You said that she hadn't been in a relationship before and wanted to go slow. She may need time to warm up to you. If you really do like her, then go slow and try to make her feel like she can trust you. Eventually, she should become more open with you and then your "relationship" can go wherever you two want.