Is This Misunderstanding on Me or Her?

[Baconator]

So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about two months now. About a week ago we started to sext each other and I loved every bit of it because I learned a lot more about her.

We would sext for about an hour at a time or even longer. Then I would believe the sext was over so I would go back to normal and joke around, saying things like "That's awesome. I wish you were here right now. :P" then she'd respond something like, "I would if I could right now ;)" which really led me on. She kept doing this about 5 times or more afterwards and that's how our regular conversation became.

About an hour ago a learned that all she was saying was false and that she's saving until marriage. I respect that but a part of me feels like I was just shot in the heart. This is my girlfriend and I am not about sex as a way to date a girl only for it, but it to be a loving action of intimacy.

Is this on my fault, hers or both of ours? And is it weird to feel this way after hearing this?

[Meh Guy]

Not at all weird to feel like that. It seems as though she led you on a little bit. However, I'd say it was probably things said in the moment, when you're both in the mood. She could be sexting you and talking dirty as a way to turn you on without actually doing anything. Either way, if you want to keep her then respect her decision or talk with her about how far she feels comfortable with going. If she just wants to sext and that's it, then respect that.

[maniamsmart]

I honestly wouldn't say it's leading on. Sexting and sex in real life is completely different. Sexting is usually done to help masturbation. So maybe that's how she's seeing it? Perhaps you should talk to her about it and ask? If you took it as in her wanting to have sex with you in real life as well, then sure it could be leading on, but you should look at it from another viewpoint too.

[TheGentleHerbivore]

I think she wasn't ever really aware that she was leading you on.
I don't think it was intentional.

I don't think it's wrong for you to feel the way you do after hearing that.
I'm sure that's how most people (who aren't asexual) feel when they're told that their partner does not what to engage in that kind of behavior with them.

I don't think it was anyone's fault. I don't believe she was intentionally leading you on, and I don't blame you for getting the wrong impression.

[Body odah Man]

I honestly wouldn't say it's leading on. Sexting and sex in real life is completely different. Sexting is usually done to help masturbation. So maybe that's how she's seeing it? Perhaps you should talk to her about it and ask? If you took it as in her wanting to have sex with you in real life as well, then sure it could be leading on, but you should look at it from another viewpoint too.

wHUT????? Since when???????
Eughhhh I think I just threw up a little; another childish belief shattered. I thought...k don't know what I thought, but nothin that messed up

@O.P.

Odd girl

[maniamsmart]

wHUT????? Since when???????
Eughhhh I think I just threw up a little; another childish belief shattered. I thought...k don't know what I thought, but nothin that messed up


What do you mean? I am confused.

[onewingedangel666]

What do you mean? I am confused.

As well as i....

[Body odah Man]

What do you mean? I am confused.

Since when has sexting been a prelude to m'bation?

[maniamsmart]

Since when has sexting been a prelude to m'bation?

I wouldn't say it's a prelude, I'd just say it's something that can help some masturbate. I know many people who like to sext, but are still virgins and intend on staying virgins. It's kind of like friends with benefits, why do some people have them? To release their stress and sexual desires, well why not do it with a boyfriend or girlfriend, because you don't have to be as committed. Same with sexting, why do people do it? Some do it because it helps release that stress and helps people masturbate, why not do it in real life? Because it's more dangerous and more of a commitment again.

[SethfromMI]

misunderstandings are usually a two way street

[Vilnius]

I don't think it's your fault at all. It sort of seems like the things that were said made you think it was becoming something else, but she might have had different intentions when she was sending it, so it was probably a big misunderstanding. So not necessarily anybody's fault. And you feeling this way after hearing about saving until marriage isn't weird. In a situation like this where you thought things were going a different route, your feeling like this is completely understandable.