Can't get a Hard on

[DennistheMenace]

What's up guys,
I am a 17 y/o guy with a pretty active sex life, I don't know how many times I've had sex, but that's not important.
During my "sex life" I've never really had any problems with my erections, or with anything else. I never really got horny though, (which is another one of my problems), at least not as much as when I first watched porn all those years ago. But I enjoyed the experience, and when I came it was great. Also, I like being with a girl and kissing her and all that stuff. I just don't get horny.
Now, 4 months ago I had sex with a girl, but it really sucked, I couldn't come but I did have a hard-on. Now skip ahead 2 months later I had sex with the same girl again, and I again couldn't come!
Now skip ahead to about 4 days ago, I finally had the chance to have sex with this (in my eyes) really beautiful girl, I really wanted it. But when we were there naked in her bed, I just couldn't get a hard on. Just couldn't do it! Only after about half an hour of just like kissing I got like a little bit of hard on and we had sex but I came incredibly fast and I didn't get a full hard on.
Yesterday she asked if I wanted to get a blowjob in school and I ofcourse gratefully obliged. But again, I got a short erection and then when she started, it just left.
This is SO frustrating, especially because I really really really wanna have sex with her, but she pretty obviously doesn't like this either. So if this happens a couple times more then she might not wanna give it a go again.
So, I would be happy if you guys could help me out. First on, how to get horny again, and secondly on how to get a hard on easily! Or atleast make sure this doesn't happen again.
Some things you should know that I've heard influence your ability are:
- I go to the gym about 3 or 4 times a week
- I took some medication for the headache I had the first time I had sex with the beautiful girl
- I'm not really a nervous guy, allthough I was a little nervous in school.
- I've been a steady smoker for about one and a half year.
- In the past I masturbated daily, then I tried to stop for about one and a half months (But that shit is hard!!!) So I was back at it again, and have been for the last month or so. (Would like to stop again, but don't know how to)

That was it! Thanks in advance!

[andy_910]

Honestly bro, it sounds like you might need to talk to a doctor or someone about that. It's probably nothing major but get it checked out while you can and don't feel awkward abt it.

[Meh Guy]

DennistheMenace doctor man, sounds like you are either really lacking enthusiasm, which is a personal problem, or you have something wrong down there. Another thing that intrigues me is you say you've been smoking for a year and a half? Smoking can cause all sorts of problems down there, so be careful.

But yeah I'd see a doctor.

[Dennis98]

I would say that you should visit doctor ..

[DennistheMenace]

Wouldn't going to the doctor be too extreme? I mean, going to the doctor is a pretty big step for me.

And yes I'm going to give up smoking. Gonna miss it though :(

[Dennis98]

Wouldn't going to the doctor be too extreme? I mean, going to the doctor is a pretty big step for me.

And yes I'm going to give up smoking. Gonna miss it though :(

I wouldn't say ... It sounds like problem with psychological back ... Giving up cigars is good choice , if there was luckiness you would never try cigars , anyway , it isn't good to basically poison your young body at so young age . As I said , I wouldn't say that visiting doctor is problem , whatever or whenever you have problem , you should visit doctor , that is reason and point of their job .

[hockeyfan]

How can u masturbate without getting hard? Do u only have performance issues when ur with a girl? If so, the issue is emotional, not physical. I would c a dr.

[SethfromMI]

seeing a doctor is not too extreme. that is what I would recommend

[DennistheMenace]

Maybe this wasn't clear in my original post: I can get a hardon by myself, but just not with that girl..

[yolo-ing]

Not to be weird or anything, but you mentioned you watching porn, and i have heard and seen lots of scientific research stating that that stuff can can give you erectile disfunction. if I were you, I would try to stop watching porn and masturbating, or at least not watching porn but rather reading literotica or some other turn on, and see how that goes,
I would also stop smoking just cause that can mess with your heart, and blood pressure. also possibly giving you difficulty achieving erections.

[Hermes]

Problems getting an erection are usually psychological rather than physiological and the fact that can get hard when masturbating bears this out.

The two leading causes of not being able to get it up at a sexual encounter are nervousness and having consumed too much alcohol. In small doses alcohol can make you more horny and it is good for dutch courage but too much causes "brewers droop".

On the nervousness front remember sex isn't something you do to her, it's something you do together. If going for intercourse isn't working spend more time doing other things. Get so you are comforable naked together, comfortable touching each other etc. Once you can relax a bit more it should become much easier.

[HououinKiyoma]

Stop smoking.. Bad for health and sex life