So unsure about my gender

[Lovelife090994]

I agree I am a male and am glad I have a penis but in my heart I don't just feel male. I feel like both male and female but overwhelmingly I feel gender neutral but maybe not fluid... In my current circumstance I can not explore what I am. I know I'd still identity as male but half of the time I'd be androgynous or female depending on my mood or day. I am not transgender... Okay some days more than others but I feel so torn... I wish I could put down Male* or Other. I don't think I fit genderfluid or genderqueer... But I have no clue what those mean or how bigender fits in.

My sexuality is still weird. I'm gay, still a virgin, and I know I want and love guys already. But the topic od llf sex makes me both nervous and either aroused or disgusted usually. I like sexy images and men but when I picture the sexual aspect with me in it I feel so sick and unsure... I don't find men disgusting or sex a disgusting topic but I'm not the most sexual person and me and sex together is weird to process for me. I know I'm not quite asexual... I'd still wany sex one day but maybe not hypersexual, maybe more hyposexual...

[Meh Guy]

This sounds like bi-gender asexuality. You say you don't think you're quite asexual but it does sound like that. I mean I obviously don't know you but that's just my observation. As for your gender it sounds like you may be bi-gender. As in you feel like a guy and a girl. More so one than the other on different occasions. Even another possibility is agender (I think?) or gender neutral as its more commonly referred to as. Basically means you don't really feel like you fit into either gender, despite being anatomically one or the other. I'm not the best person to be helping here but I thought I'd offer some insight into what it sounds like. But in the end it really is up to you to decide, which may take awhile considering you said you can't really experiment with things where you are.

Hope this helps a little :)

[Lovelife090994]

This sounds like bi-gender asexuality. You say you don't think you're quite asexual but it does sound like that. I mean I obviously don't know you but that's just my observation. As for your gender it sounds like you may be bi-gender. As in you feel like a guy and a girl. More so one than the other on different occasions. Even another possibility is agender (I think?) or gender neutral as its more commonly referred to as. Basically means you don't really feel like you fit into either gender, despite being anatomically one or the other. I'm not the best person to be helping here but I thought I'd offer some insight into what it sounds like. But in the end it really is up to you to decide, which may take awhile considering you said you can't really experiment with things where you are.

Hope this helps a little :)

Thanks... This is so confusing.

[Magenta]

Honestly, you sound like me.

In simple terms, I am genderqueer or a 'demigirl'. I partially identify as female, experience very little dysphoria over my physical body, but at the same time, I am not entirely female. Genderqueer is an umbrella term for many non-binary genders. I find it easier because it just says that I'm non-binary and doesn't get into the specifics. A 'demigirl' is someone who identifies partially but not fully as female. The other part can be anything from gender neutral, agender, genderfluid, male, etc. It depends on the person but your 'primary', for lack of a better term, gender is female because that's what you usually feel like but not necessarily always or in full. You may be the opposite, as a demiboy.

I'm also grey-ace. Or grey-asexual. It's another umbrella term (I'm fond of them because I dislike confining labels). It's sort of a combination of demisexual and asexual. Demisexuals only experience sexual attraction when an emotional connection has been established. Prior to that, they typically don't. Grey-asexuals experience sexual attraction under a set of specific circumstances that are personal to them. I am, for the most part, asexual but there are a rare few people I'd have sex with under the right circumstances. It's not common but it happens. I think sex with another person is kinda... repulsive to think about but I'd do it and probably enjoy it on my own very select terms.

Sorry that was a long and confusing explanation. Hence the umbrella terms because everyone experiences their sexuality and gender differently and I'm also bad at explaining things. But your post reminds me of me so I thought I'd put these out there in case they sound familiar at all to you.

[Lovelife090994]

Honestly, you sound like me.

In simple terms, I am genderqueer or a 'demigirl'. I partially identify as female, experience very little dysphoria over my physical body, but at the same time, I am not entirely female. Genderqueer is an umbrella term for many non-binary genders. I find it easier because it just says that I'm non-binary and doesn't get into the specifics. A 'demigirl' is someone who identifies partially but not fully as female. The other part can be anything from gender neutral, agender, genderfluid, male, etc. It depends on the person but your 'primary', for lack of a better term, gender is female because that's what you usually feel like but not necessarily always or in full. You may be the opposite, as a demiboy.

I'm also grey-ace. Or grey-asexual. It's another umbrella term (I'm fond of them because I dislike confining labels). It's sort of a combination of demisexual and asexual. Demisexuals only experience sexual attraction when an emotional connection has been established. Prior to that, they typically don't. Grey-asexuals experience sexual attraction under a set of specific circumstances that are personal to them. I am, for the most part, asexual but there are a rare few people I'd have sex with under the right circumstances. It's not common but it happens. I think sex with another person is kinda... repulsive to think about but I'd do it and probably enjoy it on my own very select terms.

Sorry that was a long and confusing explanation. Hence the umbrella terms because everyone experiences their sexuality and gender differently and I'm also bad at explaining things. But your post reminds me of me so I thought I'd put these out there in case they sound familiar at all to you.

No, no I get it. It's how I feel all of the time, especially given my split personalities. Sexual images are nice to me but not if I'm in the picture. Sex to me is natural and beautiful yet I do not think I want a lot of it. I feel anxious and unsure of sex. Sexuality never made sense to me despite being attracted primarily to males. As far as gender I am kinda gray... I do not dislike my sexual parts but I do dislike my small frame. I don't feel male or female and know I am male sexually. I know I have a penis and I am glad of that... but it doesn't make me feel male. I have neutral to feminine characteristics but seem to hate confining to one over the other.

[JamesSuperBoy]

Sometimes Its hard to answer a question or give advice only because here I do not know.


so just this - I hope you find the happiness we all deserve in life -

Hugs

[Lovelife090994]

Sometimes Its hard to answer a question or give advice only because here I do not know.


so just this - I hope you find the happiness we all deserve in life -

Hugs

Thanks!

[Daracon]

Haha, welcome to the club! Gender has been an issue of mine for awhile too, until recently where I decided I was Transgender. Only you know what you really are, no else can really know what you are going through not even fellow transgender or bigender people. My advice is talk to a counsellor and try to sort out your feelings and problems with them, it helps more than you think. By simply speaking your issue out loud and not bottling it up lets you approach it from a new way. I wish you luck in your journey! :D

[Calliope]

I know you said it's not fluid, but...
I'd be androgynous or female depending on my mood or day
I am not transgender... Okay some days more than others
That's pretty much the definition of genderfluid. Just saying.
Of course, I can't tell you for sure what gender you are, and if you really do feel you're not genderfluid, may I suggest an alternative? "Polygender: Someone who has more than one gender, either identifying as more than one gender at once, or moving between genders." There's also pangender, which means you're all genders. At the same time.

As for your sexuality, maybe autochorissexual? Here's a definition: "A disconnection between oneself and the object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the activities therein."

Hope this helped you.

[Lovelife090994]

I know you said it's not fluid, but...


That's pretty much the definition of genderfluid. Just saying.
Of course, I can't tell you for sure what gender you are, and if you really do feel you're not genderfluid, may I suggest an alternative? "Polygender: Someone who has more than one gender, either identifying as more than one gender at once, or moving between genders." There's also pangender, which means you're all genders. At the same time.

As for your sexuality, maybe autochorissexual? Here's a definition: "A disconnection between oneself and the object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the activities therein."

Hope this helped you.

There's a word for being sexual without wanting to be a part of the sexual activity? That's new... And not on the LGBT spectrum at all... Never heard of it. I may be genderfluid, but my male and and female MPD make me feel neutral or everything all at once.