Is he or isn' he?

[cookiemonstermatt]

It's making me crazy. How do you know if another guy is gay? I mean if he doesn't act effeminate, isn't out, or whatever. this one friend makes me wonder about him a lot. I'm gay and he's fun to be with and if he was gay i want to date him but I don't know if he is. I'm not out to a lot of people at school but there has to be others like me. if he isn't gay I'm scared i'll ruin our friendship by making it awkward between us. What do I do? How do i find out?

[Bmble_B]

Sadly I've asked the same thing. There's no way to find out if someone's gay but by just asking them.

[cookiemonstermatt]

Sadly I've asked the same thing. There's no way to find out if someone's gay but by just asking them.

That's what I'm afraid of because I don't want him to hate me if he isn't gay.

[sisu]

That's what I'm afraid of because I don't want him to hate me if he isn't gay.

I think that if your friend thinks its awkward to have a gay friend or doesnt like you because your gay he isnt a true friend. Sure it could be awkward to ask him but if hes a true friend then you rwo should be able to get over it if he isnt gay. Do what you feel is right.

[Hideous]

If your friend does hate you just because you asked him if he's gay, there's really no point in trying to change the way he feels or just by being friends with him. If you really want to know, just ask them.

[cookiemonstermatt]

If your friend does hate you just because you asked him if he's gay, there's really no point in trying to change the way he feels or just by being friends with him. If you really want to know, just ask them.

damn i guess I will have to. I wish gaydar was a real thing.

[LiamC]

I just wish we could have all the gay guys highlighted in rainbow colours in our vision, ugh. Would make life so much easier.

You can't do anything other than ask him. Just don't get your hopes up too much in case he's not. Straight crushes suck but they fade after a while in my experience, once you know and get over the fact it can't happen. If you don't know if he's gay or not, there's still that chance which will sadly make you feel worse!

[cookiemonstermatt]

I just wish we could have all the gay guys highlighted in rainbow colours in our vision, ugh. Would make life so much easier.

You can't do anything other than ask him. Just don't get your hopes up too much in case he's not. Straight crushes suck but they fade after a while in my experience, once you know and get over the fact it can't happen. If you don't know if he's gay or not, there's still that chance which will sadly make you feel worse!

:whoops:

I asked him today if he thought gay people were bad. He said no. i didn't have the guts to ask him more.

[Body odah Man]

It's making me crazy. How do you know if another guy is gay? I mean if he doesn't act effeminate, isn't out, or whatever. this one friend makes me wonder about him a lot. I'm gay and he's fun to be with and if he was gay i want to date him but I don't know if he is. I'm not out to a lot of people at school but there has to be others like me. if he isn't gay I'm scared i'll ruin our friendship by making it awkward between us. What do I do? How do i find out?

Try to find out from his friends. Or ask him directly. Only 2 ways I know of.

[cookiemonstermatt]

Try to find out from his friends. Or ask him directly. Only 2 ways I know of.

I'm going to ask him. I'm just really nervous.

[Body odah Man]

I'm going to ask him. I'm just really nervous.

Good luck! Remember if it goes badly, blame the question on someone else or shrug it off as a joke.

[cookiemonstermatt]

Good luck! Remember if it goes badly, blame the question on someone else or shrug it off as a joke.

I don't want to start fights but i'll think of something.

[Body odah Man]

I don't want to start fights but i'll think of something.

Oh yeah, good point. I'm sure you'll come up with a strategy though :)

[cookiemonstermatt]

Oh yeah, good point. I'm sure you'll come up with a strategy though :)

I just really hope he is because he's so funny and cute and i really want a boyfriend. haha

[DoodleSnap]

Try asking in a joking manner, or asking him indirectly. If that doesn't work, the only real way to find out is to ask him. I hope all goes well.

[cookiemonstermatt]

I asked him today if he thought it was ok to pick on gay kids. He thinks it isn't right. I almost told him but i got too nervous. Plus some of our friends came over. I didn't want to talk about it front of them.

[SethfromMI]

I asked him today if he thought it was ok to pick on gay kids. He thinks it isn't right. I almost told him but i got too nervous. Plus some of our friends came over. I didn't want to talk about it front of them.

you need to get him somewhere where it is just you and him and ask him. it is the only way you can know for sure. lots of straight people think it is wrong to pick on gay people.

the only way to know for sure is if he says he is gay (or at least bi)

[cookiemonstermatt]

you need to get him somewhere where it is just you and him and ask him. it is the only way you can know for sure. lots of straight people think it is wrong to pick on gay people.

the only way to know for sure is if he says he is gay (or at least bi)

I know but I wanted to see if he hated gay people or not. So far so good.

[SethfromMI]

I know but I wanted to see if he hated gay people or not. So far so good.

I know and that was even a good idea to do. I know your nervous, but it is something you have to do

[cookiemonstermatt]

I know and that was even a good idea to do. I know your nervous, but it is something you have to do

I know. I think I will on Monday assuming we aren't interrupted. I did ask him one time if he ever had a girlfriend and he said no. He asked me if I did. I said no. It felt awkward for a minute then we talked about something else. That's what makes me wonder the most if he is. that feeling between us. Does that sound weird?

[SethfromMI]

I know. I think I will on Monday assuming we aren't interrupted. I did ask him one time if he ever had a girlfriend and he said no. He asked me if I did. I said no. It felt awkward for a minute then we talked about something else. That's what makes me wonder the most if he is. that feeling between us. Does that sound weird?

no it doesn't sound weird. do prepared though if the convo makes him feel a little uncomfortable. it can be hard to come to grips with one's sexuality

[cookiemonstermatt]

no it doesn't sound weird. do prepared though if the convo makes him feel a little uncomfortable. it can be hard to come to grips with one's sexuality

Oh you mean like if he is gay but he isn't ready to admit it to himself?

[SethfromMI]

Oh you mean like if he is gay but he isn't ready to admit it to himself?

it could possibly happen yes. or he my be straight, but is somewhat curious or has just never had a gf and is shy about his sexuality even being straight. there is a lot which can go into it

[cookiemonstermatt]

it could possibly happen yes. or he my be straight, but is somewhat curious or has just never had a gf and is shy about his sexuality even being straight. there is a lot which can go into it

Ugh!!!!!! I'm back where I started haha But I'm going to ask him. I have to at least do that.

[SethfromMI]

Ugh!!!!!! I'm back where I started haha But I'm going to ask him. I have to at least do that.

it is a very confusing thing. but that is the only guaranteed way to tell for sure. best of luck :)

[cookiemonstermatt]

it is a very confusing thing. but that is the only guaranteed way to tell for sure. best of luck :)

Thanks Seth! :)

[SethfromMI]

Thanks Seth! :)

no problem Matt :D

[cookiemonstermatt]

He is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so he comes to my birthday party yesterday. Blah blah friends and family there. i'm in the basement finishing a game and he stayed down and everyone else went upstairs. He asked me why I asked him about picking on gay kids. I had to do it right there or i felt like I would burst. So i told him i'm gay and it would kill me if he hated gays because I really liked him as a friend. He hugged me! He's like I'm gay too it's ok! I almost cried. But instead I asked if he would be my boyfriend haha!!! He kissed me on the cheek and said yes! So that is best. birthday. ever!!!!!