friends with benefits?

[coolweeb]

(This is a weird second post oops.)

So I had a boyfriend for about 3 months (both 14) a little while ago. He's reallyyyy hot and although he was my first relationship, we did a lot of sexual stuff. He was a huge asshole though, and I couldn't keep up in a relationship with him. We broke up, it was chill, we've been kinda friends since.

However, lately my hormones have been like "yo we need action" and I'm too anti-social to talk to other people, so I've approached him asking him if we could do a fwb thing. My friends were all against it but I asked him anyway. I'm supposed to be going to his house Tuesday, and even though I know I probably shouldn't, I really really want to. I was wondering if I could get some outside opinions? Thanks!

[Zachary G]

I was in the same situation with my ex bf, he wasnt as into the relationship as i was so we broke up, but some months later we decided to do a fwb thing and its worked out much better for us.

If you think you can get along with him without being in a relationship then fwb might be the ideal situation for you. It doesnt hurt to give it a try and see how it goes.

[Dutchstranger18]

I think it`s really weird to have a fwb when you`re only 14 but okay, that`s my opinion.

[coolweeb]

I was in the same situation with my ex bf, he wasnt as into the relationship as i was so we broke up, but some months later we decided to do a fwb thing and its worked out much better for us.

If you think you can get along with him without being in a relationship then fwb might be the ideal situation for you. It doesnt hurt to give it a try and see how it goes.

Okay, thank you! I'll probably try it out and see how it goes.

I think it`s really weird to have a fwb when you`re only 14 but okay, that`s my opinion.

IT IS SO WEIRD OMG LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF AGO I WAS STILL A FETUS. i think it's weird too, but oh well


-merged double post. -Emerald Dream.

[Dutchstranger18]

IT IS SO WEIRD OMG LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF AGO I WAS STILL A FETUS. i think it's weird too, but oh well

Yea, your reaction says a lot :P

Most of the 14-year olds don`t have any experience and you want a fuckbuddy?

Wait for someone else you fall in love with. You don`t have to be so mature at that age.

[Uranus]

Personally, I don't believe it's really a good idea to have a fwb. And for a few reasons. Because you're still a teenager, and its not always safe. What if you get pregnant? What if you get an STD, STI, HIV, AIDS? That can be really bad for you. Also what about future relationships? I think it would be difficult if your partner knew (if its a serious relationship) that you have been having sex on multiple occasions, it'd be difficult to accept that.

But that's my opinion

[coolweeb]

Yea, your reaction says a lot :P

Most of the 14-year olds don`t have any experience and you want a fuckbuddy?

Wait for someone else you fall in love with. You don`t have to be so mature at that age.

I've been thinking about that a lot actually. I don't feel like I'll be finding somebody that important in my life right now, but at the same time I feel ready for a lot of stuff. I may or may not regret it later, but it's what I want to do right now, so I'm gonna go for it. :cool:

[Dutchstranger18]

I've been thinking about that a lot actually. I don't feel like I'll be finding somebody that important in my life right now, but at the same time I feel ready for a lot of stuff. I may or may not regret it later, but it's what I want to do right now, so I'm gonna go for it. :cool:

Yea, because it`s `so' hard to wait. But whatever :P Do what you need to do of course. I only post my personal opinion

And I think most boys don`t think it`s attractive when they find out and look for a serious relationship with you

[coolweeb]

Personally, I don't believe it's really a good idea to have a fwb. And for a few reasons. Because you're still a teenager, and its not always safe. What if you get pregnant? What if you get an STD, STI, HIV, AIDS? That can be really bad for you. Also what about future relationships? I think it would be difficult if your partner knew (if its a serious relationship) that you have been having sex on multiple occasions, it'd be difficult to accept that.

But that's my opinion

I completely get where you're coming from. Both me and him have agreed we're going to be as safe as possible. There are a lot of things to think about, like future relationships and stuff, but I feel like I wouldn't really want to be in a relationship with somebody that would have a problem with it. You make a lot of good points though.

Yea, because it`s `so' hard to wait. But whatever :P Do what you need to do of course. I only post my personal opinion

And I think most boys don`t think it`s attractive when they find out and look for a serious relationship with you

Oh well, I'll be single forever if that's how it's gonna be :P Thanks for your thoughts though!

Double post merged ~ Mike/ImCoolBeans

[Dutchstranger18]

Oh well, I'll be single forever if that's how it's gonna be :P Thanks for your thoughts though!


I just don`t get why you want to have sex with him because you thought he was a huge asshole when he was your bf?

[Uranus]

I completely get where you're coming from. Both me and him have agreed we're going to be as safe as possible. There are a lot of things to think about, like future relationships and stuff, but I feel like I wouldn't really want to be in a relationship with somebody that would have a problem with it. You make a lot of good points though.

Well with future relationships I mean, you're probably, in time going to want to be in a relationship. You need to understand that it might be difficult to find a partner out there (Who both of you want a relationship) who could accept that you have had sex on multiple occasions. And obviously it will be more difficult to accept it, knowing it was a fwb, rather than a boyfriend.

Why don't you look for a relationship and be with someone who cares for you and you can have sexual relations with him and make it easier for future times?

[coolweeb]

Well with future relationships I mean, you're probably, in time going to want to be in a relationship. You need to understand that it might be difficult to find a partner out there (Who both of you want a relationship) who could accept that you have had sex on multiple occasions. And obviously it will be more difficult to accept it, knowing it was a fwb, rather than a boyfriend.

Why don't you look for a relationship and be with someone who cares for you and you can have sexual relations with him and make it easier for future times?

I think I'd want a relationship with someone who wouldn't have a problem with my previous sexual interations. That might be extremely hard and maybe I wont ever find somebody like that, but that's the risk I'm taking doing this, I guess.

About maybe finding someone else, I can't talk to people holy moley. Guys my age aren't usually about "falling in love" and all that, and even if they did I probably couldn't approach them anyway. It would take awhile to find somebody who cared about me and all that, and I'm not really prepared to wait tbh.

I just don`t get why you want to have sex with him because you thought he was a huge asshole when he was your bf?

My libido is going crazy and I'm looking for a sexual relationship right now. Fwb isn't really about liking their personality, it's more about the actual sexual interaction. If we were dating, I'd probably get really sick of him, but we're just doin the nasty.

Double post merged ~ Mike

[Daniella98]

My libido is going crazy and I'm looking for a sexual relationship right now. Fwb isn't really about liking their personality, it's more about the actual sexual interaction. If we were dating, I'd probably get really sick of him, but we're just doin the nasty.

I agree with you on this subject. Why hold back and waste your time thinking about sex 24/7 when you can do better.
The opinion that you should wait having sex is really annoying if you want it now.

We could make comparison seeing its a boy who was giving you a hard time here.
Lets say he love cars. On the day he comes of age to finally drive, his father says: "You should wait some more years until you drive. You are too eager now. Lets talk about it when you turn 25. You'll see Im right and thank me then".

Im sorry but for fucks sake!!!!!

[coolweeb]

I agree with you on this subject. Why hold back and waste your time thinking about sex 24/7 when you can do better.
The opinion that you should wait having sex is really annoying if you want it now.

We could make comparison seeing its a boy who was giving you a hard time here.
Lets say he love cars. On the day he comes of age to finally drive, his father says: "You should wait some more years until you drive. You are too eager now. Lets talk about it when you turn 25. You'll see Im right and thank me then".

Im sorry but for fucks sake!!!!!

Yesss, that's what I figured too. Thanks!

[PinkFloyd]

My advice is to be careful. I don't know what the exact grounds of this breakup were, but it's possible that when you guys are making sexual advancements, old feelings for each other will come back.

[CanadianJake]

Right I've never really experienced the whole friends with benefits thing but honestly are you really ready for this whole sexual interaction thing, I mean you are 14 but your still young. You should at least wait a few more years before even looking into a sexual partner. I'm not saying you should wait but that's my opinion, you should hold off on doing anything with anyone. Your still young and should live out your teen years! I also agree with some of the other posters, about stds and stuff. But I guess as long as he wears protection then it's alright even though I don't generally agree with it but that's my useless opinion anyways :P

[Dan1234]

I don't really see a problem with it as long as the two of you are careful. However, you seem to be perhaps a bit too immature for that kind of relationship. You haven't evaluated what could happen if it went wrong, ie in terms of future relationships, how a future boyfriend may react if they found out you were FWB's at just 14.

But it's up to you at the end of the day haha, the fact you've already agreed to go round his house before posting on here suggests you don't really need our advice.

[lilg]

I have a few fwb and I don't see a problem with it, if you want it, go for it!

[coolweeb]

My advice is to be careful. I don't know what the exact grounds of this breakup were, but it's possible that when you guys are making sexual advancements, old feelings for each other will come back.

That's a really good point, thanks for pointing that out!

I don't really see a problem with it as long as the two of you are careful. However, you seem to be perhaps a bit too immature for that kind of relationship. You haven't evaluated what could happen if it went wrong, ie in terms of future relationships, how a future boyfriend may react if they found out you were FWB's at just 14.

But it's up to you at the end of the day haha, the fact you've already agreed to go round his house before posting on here suggests you don't really need our advice.

I don't think I'm being immature, maybe my standards are too high, but I know what I'm getting myself into. If somebody doesn't like the fact I was fwb at 14, that's their problem.

I posted this to get outside opinions. I didn't post it necessarily thinking I would change my decision based on those outside opinions, I just wanted a different perspective.

Right I've never really experienced the whole friends with benefits thing but honestly are you really ready for this whole sexual interaction thing, I mean you are 14 but your still young. You should at least wait a few more years before even looking into a sexual partner. I'm not saying you should wait but that's my opinion, you should hold off on doing anything with anyone. Your still young and should live out your teen years! I also agree with some of the other posters, about stds and stuff. But I guess as long as he wears protection then it's alright even though I don't generally agree with it but that's my useless opinion anyways :P

Noooo it's not useless, you guys are helping me think this through.

You have to keep in mind I'm horny like 24/7 and this might help me "live out my teen years."

I have a few fwb and I don't see a problem with it, if you want it, go for it!

Okay, thank you!

Posts merged ~ Mike

[CanadianJake]

Noooo it's not useless, you guys are helping me think this through.

You have to keep in mind I'm horny like 24/7 and this might help me "live out my teen years."

I'm not saying you can't do this but I'm saying think about it, are you sure this is what you want? are you gonna regret this later on? are you gonna look back and say I wished I had waited? it's those types of questions you have to ask yourself. Its your choice either way but I just hope you think about it! Whatever you do decide hope things do work out for you. :)

Also just wanted to say sorry if I sounded cold to you, I'm not trying to at all I just want to make sure this is what you want.

Posts merged ~ Mike/

[coolweeb]

Also just wanted to say sorry if I sounded cold to you, I'm not trying to at all I just want to make sure this is what you want.

No it's fine! And yes, it is, I don't think I'll regret it later on.

[CanadianJake]

No it's fine! And yes, it is, I don't think I'll regret it later on.


As long as he wears protection then there is nothing wrong with it. If you don't regret it later on then go ahead and have some fun ;)

[Meh Guy]

(This is a weird second post oops.)

So I had a boyfriend for about 3 months (both 14) a little while ago. He's reallyyyy hot and although he was my first relationship, we did a lot of sexual stuff. He was a huge asshole though, and I couldn't keep up in a relationship with him. We broke up, it was chill, we've been kinda friends since.

However, lately my hormones have been like "yo we need action" and I'm too anti-social to talk to other people, so I've approached him asking him if we could do a fwb thing. My friends were all against it but I asked him anyway. I'm supposed to be going to his house Tuesday, and even though I know I probably shouldn't, I really really want to. I was wondering if I could get some outside opinions? Thanks!

This could work, I mean with no relationship to worry about I doubt you need to worry that much. Just make sure you're ready for whatever you guys are planning on doing and make sure you trust him and you should be fine.

[ImCoolBeans]

Please stop posting consecutively. This is called double posting, and is against the rules. If you would like to quote multiple users in one post, please use the multi quote button, and if you would like to add onto a post after the fact, please use the edit button. I merged about 10 posts in this thread.

[CanadianJake]

Please stop posting consecutively. This is called double posting, and is against the rules. If you would like to quote multiple users in one post, please use the multi quote button, and if you would like to add onto a post after the fact, please use the edit button. I merged about 10 posts in this thread.

Alright I'll take note, sorry!

[maniamsmart]

I will try to be as unbiased as possible. I am a firm believer in having sex with the person you only truly love, because sex is such a deep emotional connection. But, at the same time, I can understand where you are coming from. As long as both of you agree to be safe, both of you agree to what you're doing, no one gets hurt, and no one feels taken advantage of, I guess it's okay.

I still don't like the idea though personally, but hey it's not my life, and I support your decision that makes you happy :)

[coolweeb]

I will try to be as unbiased as possible. I am a firm believer in having sex with the person you only truly love, because sex is such a deep emotional connection. But, at the same time, I can understand where you are coming from. As long as both of you agree to be safe, both of you agree to what you're doing, no one gets hurt, and no one feels taken advantage of, I guess it's okay.

I still don't like the idea though personally, but hey it's not my life, and I support your decision that makes you happy :)

Thank you, it didn't work out anyway but thank you for sharing.

[maniamsmart]

Thank you, it didn't work out anyway but thank you for sharing.

No problem, glad I could help and give some insight :)

[SethfromMI]

well having down the whole fwb thing I will say this. sometimes it works out great, but it can sometimes ruin the relationship. it is something you may need to be prepared for if you do decide to do it

[coolweeb]

well having down the whole fwb thing I will say this. sometimes it works out great, but it can sometimes ruin the relationship. it is something you may need to be prepared for if you do decide to do it

Definitely, I think it either works or it doesn't.

[Thomas Camp]

Ive had sex as well as just sexual relations with friends. It's fun. If you are both virgins theres not much to worry about, besides a baby.

A girlfriend is usually a lot nicer, but sometimes its just time for a casual hormonal release.

[matt_tgr]

It's just my opinion, but I'm against that whole thing. Usually if want to have sex with a person, I probably would want to have that person, you know what I mean? I'd just be sad I can't actually be with that person, just have some occasional intercourses. But if you're ok with that, then why not, right?

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Well, I skimmed through, most of the comments, so I apologise if this has been mentioned, but honestly, I think one should only have a fwb if they feel mature enough to do so and if it is not for sex (this complies to someone your age.)

Honestly, if you're looking for sex, you're better waiting for until the legal age of consent in your country. It's there for a reason, because even if you do so use protection, don't get pregnant, don't get an STI, etc, you can still regret a lot of things. Start off small.

Additionally, with friends with benefits, there's a lot to consider. It can be the worst thing ever, and it doesn't work out most of the time. People say it's better to be almost not attached to the person that much, not be looking for attention and to understand that 90% of the time when it doesn't work out/you finally stopped with them, you're going to lose that person.

The cases are always different, but for your own safety, consider it well.