I have friends, but no close friends.

[Gunn125]

Well, to start off, I just really want a friend or some friends that I'm closer with. Someone I can call my best friend. I have some anxiety when conversing with others, but I would say that for the most part, I am a pretty sociable and funny guy, and I am involved in a lot of extracurricular activities that of course allows me to be with others who have the same interests. However, while I feel like I have very many friends, I don't have any friends that I'm close with. These friends that I have, I only see them at schools or at practices and such, and the occasional party. Otherwise, I don't see them or hang out with them. To be honest, as much as I enjoy being with all of them, I wouldn't say there is anyone I can imagine connecting with on a closer level. I never go to anybody's house and just hang out, I don't go out to the movies or to eat with anybody, and I feel like I have nobody I can really confide in. I just really want someone I can do that with.

I used to have a really great friend my freshman year, and we were best friends for about a year and a half, and he was someone I feel like I could always rely on and we'd hang out all the time, alone. I also had a close group of friends my sophomore year who I'd always hang with, we always did stuff together as a group and with one another alone. I would say that these times were the times when I was happiest.

Eventually, me and my friends just naturally grew apart. I'm still friends with them, but we're no longer close and I cannot see us ever getting back to level of friendship that we were on. Now, I'm a senior and I'm graduating this semester. I don't really expect to make new, lasting friendships this semester, but I'm worried that for college I won't find anyone, and I want a good friend who I can trust. I met my past best friends by chance, so I can't really figure out a way to make close friends again. I just want a friend, a real friend. Help?

[Jaseblader]

Well, to start off, I just really want a friend or some friends that I'm closer with. Someone I can call my best friend. I have some anxiety when conversing with others, but I would say that for the most part, I am a pretty sociable and funny guy, and I am involved in a lot of extracurricular activities that of course allows me to be with others who have the same interests. However, while I feel like I have very many friends, I don't have any friends that I'm close with. These friends that I have, I only see them at schools or at practices and such, and the occasional party. Otherwise, I don't see them or hang out with them. To be honest, as much as I enjoy being with all of them, I wouldn't say there is anyone I can imagine connecting with on a closer level. I never go to anybody's house and just hang out, I don't go out to the movies or to eat with anybody, and I feel like I have nobody I can really confide in. I just really want someone I can do that with.

I used to have a really great friend my freshman year, and we were best friends for about a year and a half, and he was someone I feel like I could always rely on and we'd hang out all the time, alone. I also had a close group of friends my sophomore year who I'd always hang with, we always did stuff together as a group and with one another alone. I would say that these times were the times when I was happiest.

Eventually, me and my friends just naturally grew apart. I'm still friends with them, but we're no longer close and I cannot see us ever getting back to level of friendship that we were on. Now, I'm a senior and I'm graduating this semester. I don't really expect to make new, lasting friendships this semester, but I'm worried that for college I won't find anyone, and I want a good friend who I can trust. I met my past best friends by chance, so I can't really figure out a way to make close friends again. I just want a friend, a real friend. Help?

Well it depends... Does it matter if their online or in person? Either way the connection has to be natural and it has to happen by itself. Vt is a nice place to start your search.

[Kiogaout]

I fell the same way , i have some nice friends but i don't think I have a best friend , somebody i can really trust

[Croconaw]

I feel the same way. You just have to wait for the right person to come along, I guess.

[LiamC]

I only have one REAL best friend I can tell anything to, and he's online. At my sixth form/school, I have a group of friends and love them all but I wouldn't call any of them my best friends. There are some things you can only tell a best friend... And with "normal" friends, I find that I couldn't be texting or talking to them all the time, but with a best friend you can talk all the time and you don't really even realise if that makes sense.

I agree you just have to wait for the right person. It's a bit like finding your soulmate only different and lesser, it just... happens. You can't actively seek a best friend really... Not easily anyway!

[blackpearrl]

I actually have a few best friends, they were all from the same middle school as me and we go to the same high school as well, but now we are in different classes. And lately I feel like I'm left out. My best friends hang out with their new friends now, and they never ask me to join them. And in class, I have no close friends. I mean, my classmates are in groups but I'm not in one of them because I just befriend everyone, I talk to everyone just like you do, but in the end I have no close friends, in class.

I feel a little alone, of course. But recently I've been on the internet much and I met a few like-minded people. I hope I can be good friends with them. And although I'm still new to this site, I think it's a great place to find some new friends, and maybe you can be close to them!

[Magenta]

Real friends aren't people you find because you want one, they find you and the connection just sort of happens. And in high school, you're not likely to find a real friend that will stick around long. High school is about experimenting with your peers and social circles and you don't really find true friends until adulthood. I was very lucky to stay very close friends with a girl I met in my first year of high school but that's pretty uncommon. My best friend in the world I met online and we actually met in university. It's just a different dynamic.

University will be better for you. I've met loads more people I love than I did in high school and I knew everyone in my high school. I was pretty popular but it wasn't something that was really all that enjoyable. In university I'm a lot quieter and I connect better with a few people rather than many. The friendships you make after high school have a different level of maturity, usually less drama, and I don't think you should worry at all. A lot of people say that the friends they make in the first few weeks of college are the friends they keep for a long time.

And then there's people like my mum. Her two best friends were people she met once she started working full-time and a neighbour she met when she bought her first house. Does she have friends from college, yeah, but the true friendships she made were long into adulthood. She's pretty introverted though so this never bothered her much.

Just wait it out, you'll make friends sooner than you think and there will be someone out there you'll be able to trust wholeheartedly. It is something that happens by chance. That girl I mentioned from high school? I don't even remember meeting her for the first time. I couldn't remember her name for months and she laughed for like half an hour at me when I told her this recently. I thought she was just going to be some other classmate and now she's basically my sister and I love her like family (and her family has basically adopted me as one of their own). You never know.

[Wyatt 13]

I don't have real best friends, just buds from soccer.

[Gunn125]

Thanks everyone! I guess I can say I've had pretty good experiences with friends in high school, but hopefully in college I will meet people who eventually become more meaningful to me.

[the darkness]

I have 'friends' - people who I'll talk to because they're there.
I have friends - those who I quite like talking to (admittedly there's only one :( )
I have a best friend - to whom I can tell anything, trust with my life and love to bits.

[Microcosm]

This is gonna be a really depressing response, but here goes.
For me, I find that none of the friends we have are real. When we think of a "real friend," we think of someone who is like family. Someone who we ALWAYS care about. No matter what situation. Someone we simply can't abandon. We couldn't abandon them even if we wanted to. To word it another way: For family members, we sort of have like an ongoing gear in our brain that is set to only care about them. We always are sort of thinking about their well-being at all times, even if it is subconcious. The sad truth that I have realized is that this simply cannot be done with a friend. Well, at least if it can it is so rare that it would probably only happen once or twice in your entire life. Usually with a husband or wife. The friends you think you have in school are usually only friends with you because they see you five times a week at school. It's sad, but it's true. If you treat your friends like family, they just take it for granted and don't treat you like family back. The "close friends" you have are just illusions... For me, friends are just people who make me happy when I see them, but caring about them like I'd care about my family is something I'll never feel right doing.
Sorry for the depressing post, but this is something that I feel strongly about and has been rattling about in my mind for a while now.