My life is out of control.

[Coleb87]

Where do i even begin. first and foremost please excuse me if this post is hard to read, but my mind is a hurricane. So, i am a 15 year old boy. i am just plain depressed. i dont know exacly when or where it started, but my grandma died a year and a half ago, and that really tore me up (still does). anyhow, i finally got to highschool, and, for the most part, it is going pretty well. but you know theres always haters, and i try not to let them boss me around. now, of course, most of the antics were just simple teenage jokes, and i can understand. but one day, my very expensive headphones get swiped out from under me. i never got them again, and began to feel like people were out there against me. i had a small circle of freinds that i stayed close to, but they were nice so not much to say there. later on, i entered the 2nd semester, so my schedule changed. i had to do lots more work and such, but that didnt really bother me. now, im in a bit of a dillemma and struggle (not so much a struggle, just couldnt find a better word). i was on FaceBook and this girl i knew from a band competition messages me about her thinking of killing herself. now, i had tried killing myself twice before, and i was proud i stopped myself. i knew that i couldnt fool around with this girl, because i had been in her situation once. i eventually talked her out of it, then she started to "like me" and by like i mean she had a crush on me. i had never had a girlfreind in my life (i am 15, mind you). i guess it was because no one liked me. but now she really likes me and i do too, but i dont know if i should. ive heard that she is a "crazy" person, but i feel sorry for her. i have only met her once IRL but she lives close to me. i never was good with girls (hence me never having one). i really don't know what to do. school work is over loading me and i am just lost.

[qwfoi]

I´m not a specialist but I think you should try and make better friends with this girl. Sometimes feeling sorry for somebody is the best thing (especially because you´ve been through it). If your life is out of control and people start to bully you again then maybe she could help you (more than vt can) because she knows the situation. I hope this was ok advice. ;)

[randyboy]

I have no kind of understanding of this, but remember speak as you find, I doubt if she is crazy she just needs as you do someone to put their arm around and say Oi I'm here and it's ok and so what! We like each other and yeah cool!

I kinda felt down and stuff about being gay, but really it's not a prob I am still me (I think) :) To hell with the bullies, totally ignore them, you have her now! You have had your shit year, now move on I guess, harsh but true your Nan ain't coming back and crying won't bring her back, so don't waste your time, what you do have is something that you will never loose........your memories and I thnk it's those you now work on. Your memories and this girl, I hope I've kinda made some sence, I lost a grandather last year, we were verfy close, then suddenly it hits ya! Why an I crying, why am I feeling like crap, would he want this, is it going to change things and once YOU realise the answer is NO. It's not letting go, its remembering in a diff way so yeah get on with it..deal with it and give this girl some TLC ok! You will get it back 10 times more!

[amgb]

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother's death, that must have hit you really hard. Recovering from a loss of a loved one is so difficult, but I know you're doing really well. High school doesn't always turn out well for everyone, and it hasn't for me so I understand the stress and depression. Do you have distractions to ward off your depression when it becomes too much? I find distractions work, maybe you could indulge (not too much) in things you enjoy. It feels really overwhelming and lonely and I know you must feel so lost. I'm glad to hear you had a circle of friends who you could feel comfortable spending time with, I hope you guys are still friends because they seem like they truly accepted you. And the schoolwork; oh boy I know how stressful and overwhelming that can get. I find that I procrastinate a lot, so I end up with chunks of work to do in only a small space of time, which sucks because it just makes me feel like there's an overload of things to do. So I understand how that feels. Perhaps try talking and communicating with your school teachers about things if you're comfortable with that? Do you have a school counsellor you could talk to? I'm sorry to hear about the girl's and your suicidal thoughts and actions, neither of you deserve to feel that way. Just know that there is help out there and the most important thing to do is to reach out for it. Talk to someone you trust. I know it's going to be hard but it's worth it. I hope you've been doing okay lately and if you ever need anything feel free to send me a visitors message. (And a private message too, but you need 100 posts to do that)~~~