I'm 16 (nearly 17) and I like this girl who is 13 (nearly 14)?

[kiwislark]

I met this girl (lets call her Emma) while on a camping trip just after New Years (she was staying on the campsite next to us). I thought that she was hot before I even "met" her (saw her at the beach). We kinda hanged out in a group with her friends and my friends/brother/cuz (who were also there). We played soccer etc. (She is really athletic, plays heaps of sports) together. "Emma" is really cute and I want to get to know her more as I had limited time to during the trip as we were only there for a week. Before you ask, yes I did get her number before I left and have been texting her a bit (although she has gone away again for the rest of the holidays and can't really text). She does live in the same city as me. She goes to school and I am homeschooled. She does not have FB.

However I have a few questions:

Is 3 years too big of an age gap? (I turn 17 soon and she turns 14 soon)
Is it a bit weird liking a girl that is 13/14?
How do I get to know her more?
Would it work?

I have never been in a relationship before. Have liked a lot of girls but never had the courage to do anything (I'm not a very confident person).

[tasminsmith]

I think if she is mature it could. my mom and my stepdad have a 12 year age difference. your family might not approve but im sure if your sensible you could. and no I don't think its weird.

[Luminous]

For teenagers, 3 years is a pretty big age gap because of maturity. Think about how different you probably were when you were 13 compared to now? I know for me in a year or two I grow up drastically. So she's still practically a young kid, you're nearly an adult. Unless she's crazy mature, you'll probably get to know her and find you don't really relate that much and you think a lot of her interests and things are petty. Also, in a year and a half it'll be illegal, and she'll be 15. I don't know about you, but if it were me that would scare me a bit.

[lilg]

I don't see any problems with it just be careful cause her parents might not like it.
Just see how it goes and enjoy yourselves

[Lottie]

I dont think it is a problem, there is 4 years between me and my boyfriend

[kiwislark]

Ok thanks for the replies guys :)

@tasminsmith: well she seems pretty mature to me, idk that might change as I get to know her more...and yeah idk what family would think...

@Luxe Illusion: you make a good point abut the maturity thing. I wasn't too mature at 13 haha :P But I don't know her that well just yet so don't know how mature she is...and how would it be illegal in a year and a half? In my country dating people under the age of consent (16) is allowed. And its not gonna be a sexual relationship (waiting till marriage).

@lilg Yeah dunno bout her parents. Haven't even met them yet lol

@Lottie: yeah I didn't think that the age gap would be too much of a problem. I know some couples with 3-4 year age gaps.

[ijustwanttobearhino]

It really depends on the situation. When older, 3 years means absolutely nothing between one another. However at our age, the stages of our lives change year by year. For example (i'm talking as if in England, so college = last years of high school and uni = college) when she would be starting college and really begin choosing her own way in life, you would be finished with that and heading to university. Sometimes that can be a huge maturity difference, and i'm not talking about behaviour but as well as (excuse the cliche) finding out who you really are and who your friends are, as I did when I was in college after being stuck in a two year relationship with someone who I should've known wasn't right for me. Also, her parents may object to the idea as you are a lot older and will be discovering driving and drinking and lots other stuff. Of course it's different for every situation and i'm not saying don't go for it, by all means do if it's gonna make you happy. These are just some things to consider!

[Uranus]

For teenagers, 3 years is a pretty big age gap because of maturity. Think about how different you probably were when you were 13 compared to now? I know for me in a year or two I grow up drastically. So she's still practically a young kid, you're nearly an adult. Unless she's crazy mature, you'll probably get to know her and find you don't really relate that much and you think a lot of her interests and things are petty. Also, in a year and a half it'll be illegal, and she'll be 15. I don't know about you, but if it were me that would scare me a bit.


I fully agree with Hannah. 3 years is a big big gap with teenagers. 1-2 (maximum) would really be the only gap that's appropriate. 3 year gap for teenagers, is a big difference than a 3 year gap for adults

[maniamsmart]

There's been so many threads about age ranges. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, and our age gap is 3 years, and sometimes 4 years. Our relationship is perfectly fine. I am not going to rant about how age doesn't matter because you can dig up the thread in this forum section, should be on page 3 or 4, but I will say this, if you both are mature enough for the relationship and really want the relationship then go for it. But you, being the older person, need to make sure that she does want the relationship. This can be hard, and it may go through a lot of bumps, but she is young and may not know yet what she wants, that is why you really need to make sure, don't pressure her either, just get to learn her.

[Metonite]

The age gap is pretty big but if it's ok to their parents, I wouldn't see any problem with it.

[jssixna]

just try not to have sex with her. Other than that I think it's fine. In my school well, a senior guy dated a freshman girl and a lot of people thought it was weird but it wasn't that bad...

[sunnieseason]

I don't think anyone can control who they feel attracted to. I'm in a similar position cause I'm 13 but I like an older boy. I think it really depends on how mature you guys both are. If you say she's mature then I can believe it. Not all 13 year olds are retarded. I just think it might get tough for you when you turn 18 and she would be 15 or so. People really freak out about stuff like that. I guess you could try and tell her how you feel and maybe if she feels the same way then be open and get to know her parents. If they are ok with it then I guess it could be ok.

[CanadianJake]

Personally I don't see age as a problem. I have had feelings for someone who is younger for almost a year now which she does know but doesn't feel the same way which I respect that, I've tried moving on every which way but it's sort of hard. But either way if two people feel the same way and they are okay with the age difference then who cares. We can't help who we end up falling for, our heart is what controls who we love in some regards. But either way I'd try just talking to her, get to know her more and see how her parents feel about you as well. Also as long as you both know what's right and wrong in the relationship and make sure you do stuff that's appropriate then there's nothing wrong with it. People do get upset with age and I truly don't understand why there's a problem with it, if your heart falls for someone you can't help that. Either way hope things go well for you! :)