boyfriend and his ex.

[lumiadots]

ok so here's a little backstory.

i grew up with my boyfriend's ex. we were best friends for ten years. we entered high school and we met my current boyfriend, dustyn. they started dating for a few months and i was the third wheel. my best friend treated him like absolute shit (that's a story for another time) and i listened to both their sides of the story. now, i've always known my best friend to be the type of girl to put guys through a lot of shit and treat them badly, but i never really cared until dustyn. i liked him a lot and it killed me to see him go through this because of her. so much drama and fights and hearing him cry and heartache because of her nearly all year. finally, last may of 2014, we started dating and it all seemed good. we both had completely cut ties with her.

cue eight months later, and we just started our second semester of sophomore year. he's in my last two classes of the day...and so is she, now. i talked to him about it because i noticed him becoming really closed-off and distant and just sad, and i'm not dumb. i knew it was because of her. he constantly tells me that it's nothing and that it's just bad memories resurfacing and he only loves me and me only, and he even cried about it on the phone because he thought i didn't believe him. and i do...i'm just scared. i don't know if i'm just being irrational but this boy means a hell of a lot to me and if i lose him to her again it's going to kill me. i went through all that shit with both of them last year and i don't want to do it again. now see, she was my best friend for ten years. i know her. i can see her getting all friendly with him in class, talking with him and kicking his feet and warming up to him again. i can see it and it really wouldn't surprise me if she did. thing is though...it wouldn't surprise me if he reciprocated that as well.

now before you go saying 'this boy ain't worth it drop him' i just need to say he really is a great guy. he treats me like a fucking queen, better than i deserve. i was having a rough day and called him three days into his vacation and he cut it off and drove him and his dad home 500 miles just to see me and make sure i was ok. he did the same when his parents were home and he knew he'd get caught, but he came to see me just so he knew i'd be ok and safe. i always tell him to not buy me stuff (and i mean it, i'm not just saying it for attention) and he still does, the most beautiful bracelets and necklaces and even just candy bars and gum and gloves for winter wear because he knew i needed some, and even though it annoys me it really is a sweet gesture because he knows it makes me happy anyway. every single day he calls me beautiful and sweet and an angel and everything he's ever wanted, and always waits if i don't want to do anything sexual and i'm not in the mood, and takes care of me when i'm sick, and he's a fucking angel, really.

now i know it may seem like i'm just doggedly defending him. maybe i am. maybe i'm just being biased, but i feel like i should point out that he is a good guy, and that maybe what i'm feeling about his ex is all irrational or if i really should feel threatened. what should i do?

[DoodleSnap]

I think the best thing would be to have a dedicated conversation to speak to him about it. Being the great guy you describe him as, it is likely he will try to co-operate and open up about how he feels. It is possible that he still has some small feelings for this girl, mainly due to her manipulative sounding actions (although I shall decline commenting, considering my lack of information on the subject). If you speak to him about it, make the ground equal, both of your mindsets open and clear, and honesty the main priority, I'm sure you guys will be able to find a solution. Speaking to him will likely show you that often it is easy to assume the worst. Honesty will give you a pleasant surprise and only improve your relationship. He sounds like he needs to love himself in the same way he loves you, so tell him that, and that you care about him. For what it is worth, you guys sound like a great couple, and I hope everything turns out well between you.

[maniamsmart]

I think the best thing would be to have a dedicated conversation to speak to him about it. Being the great guy you describe him as, it is likely he will try to co-operate and open up about how he feels. It is possible that he still has some small feelings for this girl, mainly due to her manipulative sounding actions (although I shall decline commenting, considering my lack of information on the subject). If you speak to him about it, make the ground equal, both of your mindsets open and clear, and honesty the main priority, I'm sure you guys will be able to find a solution. Speaking to him will likely show you that often it is easy to assume the worst. Honesty will give you a pleasant surprise and only improve your relationship. He sounds like he needs to love himself in the same way he loves you, so tell him that, and that you care about him. For what it is worth, you guys sound like a great couple, and I hope everything turns out well between you.

This is the answer. I can't stress it enough, because I may as well put this word in big ass text font in my signature, "COMMUNICATION". This is the number one key to success in anything. Whether it be relationships, friendships, career, schooling, anything. Good luck, and I am glad you found one of the good guys.