Yesterday was the worst day of my life.

[Abhorrence]

Seriously, I'm not exaggerating when I say it was really, really fucking bad. Basically I woke up feeling sick and dizzy and yeah it didn't start off good. I didn't get ready until late so I had to walk to school but during my getting ready process something switched in my brain. I'm used to suicidal thoughts and major mood swings but this was horrible. It was like I was being consumed from the inside. I couldn't stop myself from taking all of my stashed pills. I realised what I was doing after I had lost count of how many I had taken. I felt okay though so I panicked and pretty much ran to school. Once I had gotten into my class I started feeling extremely sick. I was sweating and I was shaking. My friend said I looked extremely ill, I just said that I was fine earlier. Then my heart literally stopped and started again (a palpitation) and then sped up to like 500 mph. I was pretty much ordered by my teacher to go to the medical room because I was nearly fainting. I got to the medical room and just sat there for a while before throwing up. I was then forced to tell her what I had done and from there she called a fucking ambulance. I was literally taken out of school in an ambulance and taken to hospital. I don't know who saw me but I know all of the teachers know about it.

I then spent six hours in hospital, being hooked up to a heart monitor and having numerous blood tests. I threw up a few more times and started feeling okay. I then had to be evaluated by the mental health team and then I spent another few hours waiting. I was allocated a bed but I refused to go to it and pretty much begged to go home. I was eventually allowed to leave although they really wanted me to stay overnight to be evaluated.

So that was a really shit day. I just needed to get it out.

[Magus]

Why you didn't stay for the evaluation?

But yeah, glad you come out alive out of that. Pills regardless how benign they are and what kind of affect they do, if you take them in higher doses it will take its toll on your body.

[tasminsmith]

I hate hospitals tbh and don't blame you for wanting to get out of there. taking the pills was dangerous and you might not have been so lucky and could have ended up seriously ill.

[suzzysmith2012]

Hope you're doing better. See tomorrow as another chance to change for the better and climb to new and better heights.

[DearReader]

I hate hospitals. I see death when I look at them. That's ironic. a few people jump from the hospital buildings here. They don't even make the front page. No one cares. it makes me not wanna jump. I actually like mood swings. Sometimes, it feels like I'm pushing them but swinging is generally seem as a happy thing, right? like swinging on a tyre tied to a tree.

I hate pills. I hate the fact that they have power over me. I'm hopeless when I'm sick. but they aren't gonna cure your illness cause I don't think you're sick. I don't think that you think you're sick. I mean if you did, you wouldn't walk out of a hospital.

but whatever, I feel like going for a swing now. I haven't had one since I was a little kid. I wonder if it's still gonna be as fun