I never do anything right

[Lottie]

Dunno if im having a mental crisis or wot, but just need to rant.

I'm such an idiot and i cant do anything right. I got suspended from school (again) today and i'm just so pissed off. I told a teacher to fuck off (dunno if i can put that word here so sorry if i shouldnt) and I know I shouldn't do that but she made me so mad. She was making me feel thick. i don't mean to get into trouble it just sorta happens and then i get angry and it makes it worse.

I've tried to be like everyone else at the school and fit but it doesnt work, nobody there understands anything about me they all think i'm a freak. The only person who listens to me is my boyf but he doesn't go to school. My foster parents think i'm causing trouble on purpose and acting up to get attention when I'm really not. I just have noone to turn to. All I want is to go back to live with my mum, but I dont think that is ever gonna happen. I hardly get to see her atm and it sucks.

I just feel like I'm constantly at war with everyone and I dont want it to be like that. Everyone always has something negative or nagging to say to me like Charlotte do this, Charlotte do that, why did you do that, stop that etc.

Is this normal, does everyone feel they are treated like this coz it seems like its just me and i hate it.

And now I'm grounded... great! :(

[Magenta]

Oh boy, I know the feeling. You're not alone though. I don't think there's a single person who goes through high school feeling like they're different or a freak or that they don't fit in. Even the supposedly popular kids... a lot of them go to a lot of effort just to be liked and sometimes not for the right reasons.

I can see why you're grounded. Lashing out at teachers, not really okay. For the most part, I try to ignore people and adults who treat me differently for all the wrong reasons. If there's really an issue, try politely talking to them about it. I know this sounds condescending and I DO NOT MEAN IT TO BE but try using "I" statements if you're prone to lashing out like that. We learned this in elementary school, for me anyway, but it's surprisingly hard to learn to use them. I'm an adult and I'm still learning.

Ask if you can talk to this teacher, maybe apologize since you know you shouldn't have done it and start the conversation with "when you do this, I feel..." etc. Hear them out. Try to come to a better resolution. I'm pretty sure it will help. Teachers will treat you like an equal if you approach them as an adult. If they don't, well, they're a crappy teacher but we all get a few of them.

You're a teenager. And honestly? Nothing you do is right to anyone else. It's true but it's not something to feel bad about. You're learning about who you are. Up until now, you've been raised and conditioned to be the person others wanted you to be. There's a reason most teenagers go through their "rebellion" phase. You just want to figure things out for yourself. That's not a bad thing. The solution is to find something in the middle for now that keeps others happy and hopefully keeps you happy too. When you're on your own in the future, you can do whatever you want. For now, there are some boundaries. That's not your fault, that's just how it is and usually they're not without reason.

I hope this helps even slightly, even if some of it sounds like the typical "adult speech". Maybe it sounds better coming from a new adult than a 30-year-old teacher? Trust me, we've all been there at one point or another.

If you want to talk, or just rant and make fun of your teachers privately (again, we've all done it), let me know. You don't have enough posts for PMs yet but you can email me through my profile.

[Lottie]

Thanks, I dont mind your adult speech, its better than the others I've had.

Feeling much better today, I did get to sepnd the day dossing. :)

And my foster parents are letting my boyf come round here so I still get to see him this weekend :)

[twirlgurl]

Sounds like you got a short fuse (i do as well), and lots of pent up anger. The teacher just happened to be a convienent target. When i get so fired up i have to remind myself "is this really worth it?? Is yelling and screaming and all going to change anything??" Usually the answer is no. Just think - pick your fights carefully. Because most arent worth all the anxiety and frustrations that come after.

Foster parents, heck any parent, can be wierd sometimes too. I had a friend last year who lived in foster care and her foster parents were just over the top. She wasnt allowed to do much, like sleepovers or go to the mall with just friends, etc. My friend was so frustrated all the time, but none of it was really her fault. She wasnt "allowed" to vent or complain and when she did, shed be in trouble just for expressing her feelings. She's still cool though -- and im betting you are too!

[Lottie]

Cheers twirlgirl! :)

I think I defo act b4 thinking when I'm angry and usually after wish I had stopped to think about things. I actually had a pretty cool day today, its the first time my boyf has been round to theirs and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Got a few more days off before Im back at school, but then I will try harder to stay calm!

[DearReader]

Woah. Your name is Charlotte. What does that mean? Is a boyf a boyfriend? that's a weird word, how would I pronounce it? Boy-f or just one syllable, 'boyf'. ._. .
Anyway, good luck with life. I'm currently failing. I don't know if I even want to pass. Maybe we all just pass automatically no matter what.
I think I do wanna pass. you?
boyf is still an interesting word. I've never seen it before