'Are we still friends?'

[liptonlee]

A girl that I used to have a fling with, like 3 years ago, suddenly finds me via a chatting app. So we had a little chat and she suddenly pops out the question: 'are we still friends?'

Now, our fling ended because she ditched me all of a sudden for another guy, and things went terribly awkward/sad. Yet after all these years all the hard feelings has vanished and I don't really hate her anymore lol. But she's never going to be a 'friend', as I myself do define friends in a...stricter sense.

So what am I to answer......no idea why I'm puzzled by this.

[Luminous]

Relationships and Dating :arrow: Family and Friends
Though it's about a past relationship, it's mainly about your status as friends now.

[Magenta]

It may take some time but you may find you can still be friends.

If not, if you just don't want to open that door, tell her that things are over now and you want to move on for good. It'll probably hurt but there is honestly nothing wrong than you saying that you don't want to continue that friendship, or lack thereof.

[Lottie]

I dunno, its upto you i guess?

Do you wanna be friends or is it better to just let her go.

[Melodic]

I think you should try a friendship. Don't leave things on a negative level. But also take caution.

[Body odah Man]

I agree with Comet. Many of my greatest friends have been those I used to be enemies with. But in the end it's your decision. Listen to your heart

[SethfromMI]

I do not blame you if you do not want to be friends with her. it is up to you. if you want to give it a shot go for it. if not, like I said, I understand. either way, you can be honest and say she needs to gain your trust back

[liptonlee]

thanks for all the replies -- 'avoidance' isn't really an option as i share many classes with her in school lol

Guess I'll have to toughen up and say no...don't wanna be dragged back to the days of misery

[Magenta]

Guess I'll have to toughen up and say no...don't wanna be dragged back to the days of misery

It might be easier, since you see her often, to instead just say you want space. Don't close the door completely, still be polite and relatively friendly but put up some boundaries. Explain you're not ready to be friends again (if at all but maybe don't mention that) and you don't want to discuss it right now. Does that seem fair?