Thaliacea
January 13th, 2015, 05:00 PM
Hello everyone!
I am new here , so sorry for not introducing my self and sorry for bad English as it is not my first language , but i have really big problem.
Ok i define myself as a straight guy. I had girlfriends , had sex with them , everything was good. But... I started watching porn when i was 11. I watched only straight porn but i realized that i like penis. So i started watching gay porn. And i like it. I watch it for 7 years(i am 19 now) ... Nobody knows. I am living healthy life with friends i am great student , normal guy.
But i met this guy. And then something happened. We started going out as friends. Everything was great. I realized he was great guy. He said he never had guy friend and so on. One day we got out and started talking about sexual things. And he said something like "We are different , you are dragon (dunno why) and i am unicorn" . And that is when i got it... He admitted that he is gay. But i wasn't repulsed , on the contrary...
I started to like spending time with him even more. And i felt like falling in love. I never felt something like that with any girl. He started sending me messages like "i have wet dream with you" and something like that and i got really confused with myself. Like , i met many gay people , i talked with them , and they were all like girly-gays but he is . Like straight guy friend , but gay.
So nobody has a clue that i get attracted to same sex. I have great guy friends. Best guy friends. We had sleepovers , slept in same small bed. Nothing ever happened. But this is different.
Today he called me to go to his apartment. I went , he was alone. We talked , it was ok . Then he put his head on my shoulder. Everything was still ok . Then he started measuring our palms and mine was bigger. Then he put his hand closer to mine. I was cool , like ok. Then he asked if he can touch my hair. I approved and then i felt something in stomach. I was confused , like slapped. Then from stomach it got to my jeans , but he didn't notice , i hope so. Then he took my hand and started playing. I got so horny and confused at the same time. I had to go cause i was late for lecture. Really late. So he didn't want let me go and grabbed my palm. But then he left it.
We hugged as i was leaving and i think that he wanted to kiss me , so he just put his head on my chest. I was still confused , can't explain the feeling. Then i left , i wanted to go back and kiss the shit out of him , but couldn't... i was sitting in a bus and thinking , having mixed feeling. I wanted to go to him after my lecture , but he said he cant , must go somewhere , and i think that was a lie cause he expected something.
We chatted via facebook and sms and i told him i have to tell him something that is bothering me. So , i need your advice. Should i just tell him , or should i do something . Is this only something that will pass or? I am really , really confused and i just can't talk to anybody about this. I am not so brave. Thank you
I am new here , so sorry for not introducing my self and sorry for bad English as it is not my first language , but i have really big problem.
Ok i define myself as a straight guy. I had girlfriends , had sex with them , everything was good. But... I started watching porn when i was 11. I watched only straight porn but i realized that i like penis. So i started watching gay porn. And i like it. I watch it for 7 years(i am 19 now) ... Nobody knows. I am living healthy life with friends i am great student , normal guy.
But i met this guy. And then something happened. We started going out as friends. Everything was great. I realized he was great guy. He said he never had guy friend and so on. One day we got out and started talking about sexual things. And he said something like "We are different , you are dragon (dunno why) and i am unicorn" . And that is when i got it... He admitted that he is gay. But i wasn't repulsed , on the contrary...
I started to like spending time with him even more. And i felt like falling in love. I never felt something like that with any girl. He started sending me messages like "i have wet dream with you" and something like that and i got really confused with myself. Like , i met many gay people , i talked with them , and they were all like girly-gays but he is . Like straight guy friend , but gay.
So nobody has a clue that i get attracted to same sex. I have great guy friends. Best guy friends. We had sleepovers , slept in same small bed. Nothing ever happened. But this is different.
Today he called me to go to his apartment. I went , he was alone. We talked , it was ok . Then he put his head on my shoulder. Everything was still ok . Then he started measuring our palms and mine was bigger. Then he put his hand closer to mine. I was cool , like ok. Then he asked if he can touch my hair. I approved and then i felt something in stomach. I was confused , like slapped. Then from stomach it got to my jeans , but he didn't notice , i hope so. Then he took my hand and started playing. I got so horny and confused at the same time. I had to go cause i was late for lecture. Really late. So he didn't want let me go and grabbed my palm. But then he left it.
We hugged as i was leaving and i think that he wanted to kiss me , so he just put his head on my chest. I was still confused , can't explain the feeling. Then i left , i wanted to go back and kiss the shit out of him , but couldn't... i was sitting in a bus and thinking , having mixed feeling. I wanted to go to him after my lecture , but he said he cant , must go somewhere , and i think that was a lie cause he expected something.
We chatted via facebook and sms and i told him i have to tell him something that is bothering me. So , i need your advice. Should i just tell him , or should i do something . Is this only something that will pass or? I am really , really confused and i just can't talk to anybody about this. I am not so brave. Thank you