Questioning Myself Again.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

I'm going to keep this short and try not to write my autobiography/and or bring up the thing I said about the arcade earlier. (yes, I'm still beating myself up over that.

Anyways, I used to think I was gay. The reason: I like guys. Except, not really. You see: I have several different fetishes, one of which controls my sexuality COMPLETELY. Plainly put: If a certain guy does not fall into my fetish, I CANNOT exhibit sexual attraction towards him.

Recently, I looked up a definition for this, and came up with an AVENWiki page for Grey Asexuality. (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Gray-A_/_Grey-A) On said page, one statement stood out.

people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances

So, am I a gray asexual, or some sort of horrible alien mutant thing sent from the far reaches of the universe (I honestly thought I was dropped off by aliens for the majority of my life)?

[Magenta]

I fall under grey-ace/demisexual. I need a deep emotional connection with someone before I will even consider having sex with them. I enjoy sex and will have it, I just will not unless certain circumstances are met.

So yeah, you probably fall under the grey-ace spectrum or you just have your own tastes. So you have a few specific things that turn you on. Nothing strange about that. If you're not attracted to people who aren't into that stuff, I see nothing wrong with that. Some people can make exceptions, some people can't. Either way, you're not some alien mutant thing. Trust me.

And remember, sexuality is fluid. I always remind people of this. I've gone through about five different labels for my sexuality since I was about 14. That's basically one per year. Sounds about right, actually. But as I've gotten older, my preferences, wants, and needs have shifted and changed. Ultimately, my sexuality has never actually changed (I like who I like) but there are other changes (such as fetishes and levels of sexual attraction) that will be subject to hormones, growing up, life experience, and the like.

You're completely normal and if you feel most comfortable with the grey-ace thing, then yes, that's likely what you are. Only you can really determine your sexuality and you may, like me, go through like five labels until you find one you really identify with. Or, also like me, you may give up entirely and stop trying to label yourself because life is life and we are who we are no matter what words we assign to ourselves.

[SethfromMI]

it is hard to tell. no one will be able to tell for you. just give it some time and see how you feel

[James Dean]

Yeah but society might not see it like that. If you like the same gender that's still being gay. All these other side sexualities, pansexual, etc, are not well known and people who aren't dealing with similar issues won't relate.

Like between you and me, I totally understand you brother, and I don't like to classify myself as just gay or bi, but when I'm meeting new friends or if I just want to cause less confusion to people who aren't necessarily ignorant, but lacking the knowings of sexual identity and culture, I would just use more common terms and labels.

But that brings me to the final point. Just be happy for who you are and accept yourself. Best of luck to you man. :)

[Andrew.1]

Well youre probably bi but leaning towards girls more.

[DoodleSnap]

I totally understand, however for most people, "a really picky gay guy" would most likely explain it best. A lot of people won't understand certain labels, and fitting a certain one isn't the most important thing either: being comfortable with yourself is.

[dirtyboxer55]

sounds pretty gay to me bruh