Any demisexuals out there?

[Oligarchy]

After reading up on it, I'm pretty sure I'm demi-homosexual, for the most part. I'm in a relationship with a girl to whom I first spoke a year and a half ago and although I occasionally find men attractive, I couldn't picture myself in a relationship with them.

So to any demisexuals here, what's your story?

[phuckphace]

you can imagine my disappointment when I learned that demisexual does not, in fact, mean you want to bang Demi Lovato.

[Magenta]

you can imagine my disappointment when I learned that demisexual does not, in fact, mean you want to bang Demi Lovato.

She is cute.

Eh, I go by demisexual but I think I fall in the grey-ace area of the spectrum where you don't really know. I like umbrella terms because specifics are so difficult when your sexuality is fluid.

I'll date both guys and girls (though I'm sorta turned off of the former atm) but my interest in sex is kinda... eh. I need to have a strong connection with someone first. Otherwise it makes me feel bad. Even then, sex with other people is just... I don't know, I just don't like it much unless under certain circumstances.

So demisexual? Probably.

[Body odah Man]

you can imagine my disappointment when I learned that demisexual does not, in fact, mean you want to bang Demi Lovato.

Hahahahahahahahahahha! Ah Demi Lovato, an awesome punk singer chick. My heart admires thee.

What is a demisexual btw?

[Magenta]

What is a demisexual btw?

The definition is fairly long so here is a shortened version:

"A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality."

And this is a page where you can read more (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual).

[Oligarchy]

you can imagine my disappointment when I learned that demisexual does not, in fact, mean you want to bang Demi Lovato.
lmao
she's hot but as a demisexual i wouldn't be sexual with demi unless i developed a strong emotional connection with her. :P

[Body odah Man]

The definition is fairly long so here is a shortened version:

"A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality."

And this is a page where you can read more (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual).

Hmm. A sexuality I might have. Course I haven't been in any relationships yet so I can't tell, but if it's in between asexuality and sexuality than perhaps I might have it.

[dirtyboxer55]

lmao
she's hot but as a demisexual i wouldn't be sexual with demi unless i developed a strong emotional connection with her. :P

when you say shes hot doesnt that kind of defeat the purpose of demisexual? judging by the definition posted above, shouldnt you feel no attraction to her whatsoever unless you have an emotional connection to her...

[Karkat]

I've identified as it before, but honestly I don't know what I "am" and neither care to pin a label on it nor go into specifics

[Magenta]

when you say shes hot doesnt that kind of defeat the purpose of demisexual? judging by the definition posted above, shouldnt you feel no attraction to her whatsoever unless you have an emotional connection to her...

Demisexuals are perfectly capable of feeling attraction towards other people by many means, including looks, it's sexual attraction that requires an emotional bond.

Not to mention, saying someone is hot doesn't necessarily mean you're attracted to them. I think Johnny Depp is hot and incredibly attractive, doesn't mean I ever want to have sex with him.

[dirtyboxer55]

Demisexuals are perfectly capable of feeling attraction towards other people by many means, including looks, it's sexual attraction that requires an emotional bond.

Not to mention, saying someone is hot doesn't necessarily mean you're attracted to them. I think Johnny Depp is hot and incredibly attractive, doesn't mean I ever want to have sex with him.

all of my wat.
why does this even exist as a term. is this not most people?

[Magenta]

all of my wat.
why does this even exist as a term. is this not most people?

No, it's not. Read the definition.

[dirtyboxer55]

No, it's not. Read the definition.

most people i know dont want to have sex with others until they know them well enough. is that demisexuality or no

[Magenta]

most people i know dont want to have sex with others until they know them well enough. is that demisexuality or no

It's not a matter of wanting to have sex. It's feeling any sort of sexual attraction at all. Most people can look at a person and think "wow, yeah, I can see myself having sex with them that would be great" but they wait because that's what they're comfortable with. A demisexual goes something like this:

Demi, since we're talking about her, is hot. She is attractive. She is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Do I have any interest in jumping into bed with her and doing the do? No. Might I have an interest in dating her? Sure, she's cute, why not? Still not sexually attracted to her. If I got to know her well enough and formed an emotional bond through dating and those sorts of feelings? Maybe I would be. For most demisexuals, you don't know until you get there.

That is how it works. Demisexuals are not blind to someone's physical attractiveness, it just requires a certain level of connection before there is any sexual attraction involved.

In simpler terms: for most people, their dick will tingle instinctively when they see someone they like and find attractive. For demisexuals, we see a person we like and find attractive but only after a relationship is formed and established is there any dick tingling. For people with vaginas, same idea but dicks were just easier for that particular example.

[dirtyboxer55]

It's not a matter of wanting to have sex. It's feeling any sort of sexual attraction at all. Most people can look at a person and think "wow, yeah, I can see myself having sex with them that would be great" but they wait because that's what they're comfortable with. A demisexual goes something like this:

Demi, since we're talking about her, is hot. She is attractive. She is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Do I have any interest in jumping into bed with her and doing the do? No. Might I have an interest in dating her? Sure, she's cute, why not? Still not sexually attracted to her. If I got to know her well enough and formed an emotional bond through dating and those sorts of feelings? Maybe I would be. For most demisexuals, you don't know until you get there.

That is how it works. Demisexuals are not blind to someone's physical attractiveness, it just requires a certain level of connection before there is any sexual attraction involved.

so demisexual people arent into casual sex and only know if they truly want to have sex with someone after they've been in a relationship with said person for awhile... like most people.


concerning your edit: who knew that emotional attraction was a key piece in sexual attraction (for almost everybody)

[Magenta]

so demisexual people arent into casual sex and only know if they truly want to have sex with someone after they've been in a relationship with said person for awhile... like most people.

Either I'm not explaining it well enough or you're really not getting this. It is a completely different sexuality that is on the asexual spectrum. I have no other ways to explain it.

Just wanting to have sex =/= sexual attraction. There are plenty of completely asexual people who will have sex, they're just not interested nor do they get anything from it. Demisexual is basically the in between of asexual and a "regular" sexually attracted individual.

[dirtyboxer55]

Either I'm not explaining it well enough or you're really not getting this. It is a completely different sexuality that is on the asexual spectrum. I have no other ways to explain it.

Just wanting to have sex =/= sexual attraction. There are plenty of completely asexual people who will have sex, they're just not interested nor do they get anything from it. Demisexual is basically the in between of asexual and a "regular" sexually attracted individual.

i guess i get it. you need to an emotional connection with someone to find them sexually attractive (assuming that like you said earlier sexual attraction was different to physical attraction) like most people

[David_L2]

you can imagine my disappointment when I learned that demisexual does not, in fact, mean you want to bang Demi Lovato.

lol, had to look it up...can't say I am. Depends too. If its just fling it doesn't matter how close I am, but if its a real gf then I do care a lot about who she is, what she's like...

[TheGentleHerbivore]

I'm asexual.

Close enough. :P

[Lottie]

I didn't even know that was a thing! Very interesting!

[glasshearts]

I'm demisexual. I learned this a few weeks ago from tumblr. I guess I always kind of assumed that there was something wrong with me because I didn't find anyone sexually attractive. It was pretty amazing to find out that there are other people like me and that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I kind of prefer guys though, I just can't ever see myself with a girl.

[Amir]

So first of all, there are only 3 sexualities (+Asexual), 2 sexes, and more than 2 genders, there aren't any subcategories. So by your description I am assuming you are Bi. and trying to find other words. Dont add anything else to it because it gets annoying to be honest with you. Demi-sexual literally means you are attracted to people you love essentially which is bisexual.

[glasshearts]

So first of all, there are only 3 sexualities (+Asexual), 2 sexes, and more than 2 genders, there aren't any subcategories. So by your description I am assuming you are Bi. and trying to find other words. Dont add anything else to it because it gets annoying to be honest with you. Demi-sexual literally means you are attracted to people you love essentially which is bisexual.
Demisexual means you're only sexually attracted to someone you love. Bisexual means that you are sexually attracted to both sexes. Sexuality isn't black and white there are areas in between. Demisexual exists between sexuality, being sexually attracted to either or both sexes, and asexuality, being sexually attracted to no one.
It is a real thing, not something someone made up.

[drew_475443]

This thread has helped me find my orientation I think...