[Trigger Warning] The issue with the Scratch

[epiphanylove]

I know that many people don't really consider scratching self harm, but I do. I usually scratch with objects to feel the pain and to make myself hurt for all of the shit I am going through. I have been really fucked up since one of my best friends decided to up and leave me. I really haven't been the same. I'm lucky if I can go 2 weeks without scratching. My one month free of self harm was supposed to be tomorrow but I relapsed this week due to urges and it gets really fucking hard. Waking up is usually same shit, different day. I can't really relate to anyone at my tiny school. I just can't. I can't wait to start therapy, which will hopefully be soon, but I don't want to be thrown onto medication because of my bad reactions to them.

I need help. Everything just seems to be getting worse, each memory of them fucking kills me. I need help.

[Abhorrence]

I personally don't consider that self-harm for myself but it is literally only because I'd never be over one day clean. Therapy didn't help me and neither did medication and so I've now moved to a different method. I'm currently doing a lot of exercise and stuff. It doesn't make me feel any better emotionally but it actually strangely helps with that forever-tired feeling of depression.

[amgb]

Hi Epiphany I agree that scratching is a form of self harm. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I know things are pretty messed up and it's making you feel terrible. I understand it's really hard and it gets lonely, but Its a really positive thing that you're going into therapy. If you have bad reactions to medication I think you should tell your therapist so he/she will know exactly how to help you. I'm sorry to hear about your best friend leaving you, that must have been tough. I really want to help you through this, and I think it's really good that you're asking for help because that's always the first step. Do any of your family members or friends know about your self harming? If they do, then I hope they can be there for you when you need them. If not, then I think you should tell someone close to you that you trust. I know it's really hard to open up, but I don't want you to feel more alone than you already feel now. I want you to know that even though we're strangers, I know you're a good person. And I know you're a strong person too. Even though it's not easy, I believe you can get through this~~

[epiphanylove]

Thank you dear. I hope to talk to my therapist really, really soon. I'm nervous about talking about any of this because my mom doesn't exactly act nice toward self harmers, to say the least. I don't talk about it to her at all. I have friends that know about it, however, and they try to talk to me when they can. <3

[amgb]

Thank you dear. I hope to talk to my therapist really, really soon. I'm nervous about talking about any of this because my mom doesn't exactly act nice toward self harmers, to say the least. I don't talk about it to her at all. I have friends that know about it, however, and they try to talk to me when they can. <3

I also hope you can talk to your therapist soon : ) I know you're anxious and that's okay. It's really good you have friends who you can go to, friends can be really amazing:) Yeah I understand how you feel with your Mum, because my Mum didn't act very nicely when she found out I self harmed. If you need to talk more, feel free to send me a private message (unfortunately on this site you have to have 100 posts to be able to private message, but just wanted to let you know that my door is open for you~)