Are my friends racist?

[Dalcourt]

Maybe I should give a little backstory first. I live in a very small town in the deep South and I'm black...well actually mixed race cuz my Mom was white...but anyway for people who see me I'm black. I'm a minority at my school and all my friends are white.

Usually we are all getting along great but sometimes they say really stupid things like I'm working on performing a country song I really like for our school's talentshow and they told me I shouldn't do that cuz black people can't do country songs I should something different like soul, r'n'b or dance...
They also make a lot of racist jokes and when I say I feel they are mean they just laugh it off and say that they don't mean me with it.

They make remarks about the clothes style I have like that I don't wear this sports or hiphop stuff the other black guys at our school do.


I feel that some of those things are racist but maybe I'm just overreacting I dunno. Any opinions?

[lilg]

I bet you they think they're not, but, they are. That is definitely racist.

[Body odah Man]

Maybe I should give a little backstory first. I live in a very small town in the deep South and I'm black...well actually mixed race cuz my Mom was white...but anyway for people who see me I'm black. I'm a minority at my school and all my friends are white.

Usually we are all getting along great but sometimes they say really stupid things like I'm working on performing a country song I really like for our school's talentshow and they told me I shouldn't do that cuz black people can't do country songs I should something different like soul, r'n'b or dance...
They also make a lot of racist jokes and when I say I feel they are mean they just laugh it off and say that they don't mean me with it.

They make remarks about the clothes style I have like that I don't wear this sports or hiphop stuff the other black guys at our school do.


I feel that some of those things are racist but maybe I'm just overreacting I dunno. Any opinions?

Yeah they're racist

[James Dean]

Wow, I'm sorry. Keep your head up though, do your thing. :)

Based on what you mentioned, that doesn't seem racist to me. Your friends are just being a little bigoted that's all. They just are confused because you don't fit their racial stereotypes that they see on tv or in movies or otherwise.

I mean, everyone is a little prejudiced to some degree and when certain groups are together, some not so great comments arise which in face value don't always mean harm. Please take it with a grain of salt.

Nobody is a better judge than yourself. As long as you feel as though these comments aside they are loyal friends, then that's all that should matter. They are still friends and I'm sure every group of friends still picks and makes fun of people within the friendship. It's like that sometimes. However, if they are abusing and bullying you, then you have to stand your ground and make the best decision for you.

Again, just be happy and positive about the relationships you make and stay safe. :)

[SethfromMI]

well if they are not racist then they certainly seem to love telling racist jokes and saying racist things. either way, it is not acceptable

[queenofcontrariety]

I mean in all honesty everyone is a little bit racist, none of us want to admit it though. This is just something that you have to overcome. If they were truly racist they wouldn't have befriended you in the first place, I personally deal with a ton of white people jokes (shocking I know) but because of how diverse my area is. I mean you've voiced your feelings which is key, your options are deal with the comments or shut them down, or you can try to find friends who aren't as racist but honestly in the deep south it will probably get worse instead of better. As for the talent show they may have merely been trying to protect you because they know how the rest of the town would react. Just my two cents and all.

[twirlgurl]

Peanut, have you told them that those kinds of jokes are offensive too you?? And if the blow it off, tell them. "DUDE Seriously - its offensive to anyone with a brain!" Like make your point crystal clear.

I mean, it could be that they just feel so comfortable around you as a friend to be able to say whatever comes to mind. I have friends of many races and racial jokes just happen. not mean or stupid jokes, but stereotyping things. Like they tell me "white girls cant dance" and "white girls have no butts", etc. And if i was offended i would tell them, but im not because they arent saying it in a mean way, but a fun way just trying to get a rise out of me. I also try to speak "ghetto" sometimes and 95% of the time they laugh, and the other 5% of the time they tell me to give up cause im "too way white" for that.

Maybe its just a misunderstanding? But if its being mean or excluding you because of your race, then they arent friends at all. and are totally ignorant too. Personally, i like to think im color blind, but that doesnt mean i can't see. you know.

[Uranus]

I mean in all honesty everyone is a little bit racist, none of us want to admit it though. This is just something that you have to overcome. If they were truly racist they wouldn't have befriended you in the first place, I personally deal with a ton of white people jokes (shocking I know) but because of how diverse my area is. I mean you've voiced your feelings which is key, your options are deal with the comments or shut them down, or you can try to find friends who aren't as racist but honestly in the deep south it will probably get worse instead of better. As for the talent show they may have merely been trying to protect you because they know how the rest of the town would react. Just my two cents and all.

^ I agree!!!!!!

[Thunderstorm]

If it makes you feel any better, I saw an amazing black country singer on American Idol or America's Got Talent, one of those shows.
Anyways, that is racism. They are stereotyping you because you don't act like a "normal" black. Don't listen to them, be yourself, because that is what you were born to do. They aren't really your friends if they are being that racist.
Also, as bad as the Deep South is, my suburban area was ranked as the most segregated area in the country (suburb of NYC, very segregated between blacks and whites). So you're much better off than the blacks here. Still, racism like what you have experienced is unacceptable. You should not stand for that.

[Babs]

If they define you and your interests by your race, then they're somewhat racist.
If they make racist jokes and ignore you when you say that they are offensive, then they're somewhat racist.
They sound like assholes.

[Straya]

me and my friends of other races makes jokes about each other all the time. theres a difference between saying it as a joke and saying it to hurt. but in saying that they are aarseholes for ignoring you when you say you dont like it

[Desuetude]

Nope, that's definitely racist. I get the same shit being a minority race in a mostly white city. Do you find it's those that you know/talk to but you're not really those you're close to? I find my actual friends only make jokes that I'm comfortable with and never take things too far. Other people though make Indian noises at me and do all the stereotypical Indian racist stereotypical shit and yeah, it's not on but they don't stop.

Honestly I'm getting to the point where it's verging on bullying for me but I'm not really friends with them and there's nothing I can do to stop it. If you feel like you're comfortable enough to bring it up with them though, maybe just a couple of the people you're closest to, and tell them you really don't like them making the comments about your race then I urge you to do that. You're only going to become more insecure and irritated the longer it lasts. You shouldn't have to go and make new friends just because the people you're friends with are ignorant enough to think that 'jokes' never hurt.