My dad makes me to have a bodyguard

[EmyHoover14]

Hello ya'all. Im new to this forum and came here to ask for advice, because this is becoming a big problem for me.
Im a 14 y/o girl and i live just with my dad, because my parents divorced when i was 3 and since then, my dad got custody for me.
He is a nice dad, buys me stuff, doesnt tell me to study and spends time with me when he can, also lets me out a lot, but always with a bodyguard. Ive been having a bodyguard since i was 9. Before that, he was taking me outside or letting me with a lot of kids in my neighborhood, but there was always some adult around. As i became 9 y/o, he got me a bodyguard. When i was younger i didnt mind, but now i do because i feel like i have no privacy. My bodyguard is a weird man, he follows me everywhere and when im with friends, lets say sitting on a bench, he stands behind me and looks around like if someone gonna attack me, lol. But i dont get it. Im not a famous or rich girl. Ive talked about this with my dad, but he always says theres danger outside and doesnt want to hear me out. But its dangerous for my friends too, yet they arent going around with bodyguards. Its ridiculous and embarrasing.
My dad told me if i go away of the bodyguard, he will punish me. I did once , i told the bodyguard to go away cause i was about to kiss a boy and he did. When we got home he told my dad and my dad was pissed off. They went in my dads room and talked something, then my bodyguard came to me and told me to never ask such thing again. My dad then grounded me one week no going out :(
Please give me some advice on how to solve this problem. My dad doesnt want to understand. He allows me on night parties but he doesnt realise that i cant attend them because he doesnt want to let me go alone and the bodyguard mostly isnt available at nights, because my dad takes him with him. Some also weird men like 5-6-7 are coming to our house at nights, calling my dad to help some of his friend and its always like that. And they are going so i have to be at home because im not allowed to go without the bodyguard. Once i went anyway to a party, my friend picked me up but my dad came home i guess and saw that im not there so he called me and started yelling, then came to my friends house with all of his weird friends and got me home. During the drive he told me bunch of stupid stuff and when we got home, he told me "go to your room right now, i dont want to see you" and he was so mad so i did lol and the next day he grounded me 2 weeks no hanging out with friends no computer and no phone. I sneaked on my phone tho but i need some advice on how to convince him to not make me have a bodyguard. Please tell me and thank you.

[cami]

Sounds like your dad is a bit paranoic, imo.

You said that you have talked to him but it didn't work. If that doesn't work, I really don't know how you can face this issue :/ I would try talking to him again at least.

Good luck!

[Thunderstorm]

This is an interesting problem. I would say you should talk to him nicely, maybe at night, when he is not stressed and there is nobody around. You should tell him that you have reached a point in life where you need independence. Tell him that you can't bring a bodyguard to college, you can't bring a bodyguard to a job interview, you just can't live as a bodyguard. If that doesn't work, you need to take action for your independence. You need to prove that you don't need to a body guard. Convince your dad to let you do something simple, like go to a nearby restaurant or movie theater without your body guard. tell him that if you come back in one piece, he has to release the bodyguard. That's all I can think of, this is quite a difficult situation.

[EmyHoover14]

Ive tried telling him that it cant be that dangerous and that i know how to keep myself out of trouble, to not talk with strangers lol or get close with them and all that but he just cant understand. He keeps telling me ,,no and stop it before i punish you for this attitude,, but i dont understand how its an attitude. I just want to explain him stuff. I dont get it, i guess i should explain it to him on some other way but i dont know, give me some advice. He tells me that its less dangerous for my friends than me and i will understand one day but how is that? I thought, mabye because once when i was really young like 4-5 y/o i was walking with my mom and she left me in the playground and sat on a bench to talk with other moms, then someone tried to take me in a car, but he was nice, he was saying some stuff like if im lost and i was telling him my mom is here and that moment she came and i dont remember a lot about it, it wasnt some dangerous experience to me..but it was long time ago, i was just a kid, now im way older and stronger so i really need some advice on how to change his way of raising me.

[churris]

Well, it definitely seems strange. Maybe you could try asking your dad that your bodyguard stands somewhere else? I mean, if you are on a bench with your friends, ask him to not be just behind you but a few meters away? So you could talk more freely and such. He can be in the same place as you, keeping you safe but mostly not literally by your side.

[lilg]

Just curious have you tried pretending the bodyguard isn't there when he's with you? I mean until you get things sorted out with your dad you're going to have to live with it. Unless your dad told him to spy on you and stuff he's probably not going to care if you kiss a boy.

[EmyHoover14]

Well, it definitely seems strange. Maybe you could try asking your dad that your bodyguard stands somewhere else? I mean, if you are on a bench with your friends, ask him to not be just behind you but a few meters away? So you could talk more freely and such. He can be in the same place as you, keeping you safe but mostly not literally by your side.

I asked him this yesterday and he told me that im boring with the talk about the bodyguard, he wont fire him. He didnt even understand me correctly
:( any advice on how to aproach him? :(

[EmyHoover14]

Just curious have you tried pretending the bodyguard isn't there when he's with you? I mean until you get things sorted out with your dad you're going to have to live with it. Unless your dad told him to spy on you and stuff he's probably not going to care if you kiss a boy.

But i cant do this, i need privacy when kissing and privacy in general. :@

[lilg]

you need air, food, water. you want privacy, i don't blame you. just going to have to learn to deal with it until you can get your dad to change his mind, you don't really have a choice, sorry :(

[Straya]

what does your dad do for work. maybe the dangers with his job and that people may try to get to him through you

[queenofcontrariety]

I will not give you any conspiracy theories as to what your dad does for a living but obviously it seems pretty sketchy. Maybe he half expects someone fed up with him to go after you as a revenge type thing. I mean you also have to understand that you're 14 and he wants to protect you, there are a lot of creepy people out there and it seems like you're all he's got and would hate for something to happen to you. If he went to these lengths I can't really see him changing it any time soon

[SethfromMI]

what does your dad do for work. maybe the dangers with his job and that people may try to get to him through you

this is what I am wondering. even over protective dads just don't have body guards, unless they are super rich/famous (in which case safety for the child would need to be considered) or the dad is in something and it is deemed you need protection to keep you safe.

this makes me very curious

[EmyHoover14]

He worked in a bar and now lately he became hmm how to call this, the boss of the bar pretty much, but not owner. But 2 years ago he worked in a factory and before it he worked as a bodyguard himself for the owner of this bar now. And several other jobs, but i cant remember well what it was about, when i was younger.
Also with those 5-6 men they work as bodyguards themselves in night clubs my dad says, thats why he goes out with them at nights often or they helping someone.
But i dont think it has to do with the job,hes now sleeping and i will bring this again and ask him about this. Any other advices on how to like, aproach him about the problem and change his mind? I want to prove to him that im old enough to take care of myself and i dont need this guy with me. Mabye a good idea is to say that the bodyguard slapped me? :D i know lying isnt nice but i have to get rid of him.

[phuckphace]

sounds like there's probably more to this than he's letting on. if you aren't rich or famous and yet he's willing to pay a bodyguard's salary, it makes me wonder if he's involved in some very risky illegal activities, like big time drug trafficking. if so then he's probably worried about his "business rivals" retaliating and doesn't want you to get kidnapped or killed if things went sour.

of course, that's unlikely, but I can't think of any other legitimate reason why he'd go so far as to hire a bodyguard. there are plenty of paranoid parents out there but even with them it's unusual.

tl;dr your dad is the IRL Walter White

[Dennis98]

If your dad isn't criminal or some important politic figure , then tell him that there is no need for that .. From your story , I have a feel that you dad is bit paranoic ... My father , for example , is one of most important politic figures in my country , important member of government party , but he never ever had bodyguard ... If your dad is doing right business , there will be no one who would like to harm him or his family ..

[SethfromMI]

sounds like there's probably more to this than he's letting on. if you aren't rich or famous and yet he's willing to pay a bodyguard's salary, it makes me wonder if he's involved in some very risky illegal activities, like big time drug trafficking. if so then he's probably worried about his "business rivals" retaliating and doesn't want you to get kidnapped or killed if things went sour.

of course, that's unlikely, but I can't think of any other legitimate reason why he'd go so far as to hire a bodyguard. there are plenty of paranoid parents out there but even with them it's unusual.

tl;dr your dad is the IRL Walter White

agreed. even over protective parents don't spend so much on a body guard unless there is a very specific reason. there is more than meets the eye, even if she honestly does not know what is going on

[twirlgurl]

Hold up....not so fast!! is the bodyguard cute???

My dad is WAY protective of both me and my older sister whos in college now. Back when i was 12, he actually gave me permission to be a lesbian until i was like 25. Of course he was joking but he's really sceptical about the intentions of ANY boys.